Sunday, January 31, 2010

Busy Week Ahead

Stupid headaches. They make me hate being awake. So I sleep all day, and then have trouble getting to sleep when I need to. Like tonight. Since I have to get up at 8 tomorrow. Blah. Two weeks from day I will be off these narcotics, and then maybe I can return to a headache-free world.

Okay, so we don't have snow. This "snow" is just white ice. Trust me, I walked to Marshbanks for dinner. It's ice. Which is dangerous for someone as uncoordinated as me. And as of now, we just have a 2 hour delay tomorrow, which means all of my classes are still on since my first class is AT 10 am. Lord, protect me.

I have a test in French and a quiz in Western Civ tomorrow. I could have a quiz in Government, but he only gives pop quizzes, so I have no idea. I did my reading, though, so we'll see. I also get assigned my first essay in English Tuesday, and I have an Economics quiz either Tuesday or Thursday. (Again, my professor there likes pop quizzes. He told us which weeks the quizzes are, just not the specific day.) So it's gonna be a busy week.

I have a blog button now! Please feel free to copy and paste the code. It's right there at the top of my left sidebar. Thanks to Mandy, who also designed my blog, for it. :)

I did it! I managed to post every single day for a month.

I hope I started feeling tired soon. 8 am will come too soon. It will be super if I wake up and find out that all classes have been cancelled. ;)

Saturday, January 30, 2010

Ed Gore Day

It was "Ed Gore Day" at the basketball games, so I spent 12:00-5:30 at the Convocation Center with my uncle and a bunch of strangers.  SO AWKWARD.  It would've been so much easier had my family been able to come. Stupid snow.  And we lost the games.  Boo.

For some reason, I feel like today is Sunday.  Don't really know why.  If it was, I certainly wouldn't be up at this hour because I get up at 8 on Mondays.

Miss America was tonight.  Miss NC didn't even make it to the Top 15 (through the first elimination), so I was rooting for Miss Kentucky...because her name was Mallory. :) She made 4th runner up.

That's about it.  My life is boring.

20 days to home.
42 days to Charlotte. :)


Friday, January 29, 2010

Stupid snow.

I normally love snow. In Swansboro, it's such a rarity that, all my life, I freaked out whenever snow came because it was so exciting.
But right now? I'm mad at snow.
It's already started snowing, solidifying the fact that I will not get to see my mom tomorrow.
It probably seems stupid to all of you, but I am seriously homesick right now and I got so excited that she was gonna come and see me so that I didn't have to wait till February 19th to go home and see her (and everyone else).
So, yes, I am mad at snow.
Stupid snow. You couldn't have waited till Sunday?

My dad would be 48 today. RIP Daddy. <3

Thursday, January 28, 2010


That's how much stuff I bought at Wal-Mart tonight.
That's a LOT of stuff for me.
But I needed it.
The not-so-fun part was unloading it all.
The super fun part was seeing Holly for a little while.
What a sister, huh? Took a two-hour roundtrip just to take her sister to WalMart. Of course, I did give her $15 for gas and bought her dog food and dinner, so she said it was a good trade-off. :) It was good to have some family contact.

God, please please PLEASE don't let it snow this weekend. I really, really, really want to see my mom.

I almost skipped Economics today, because I was so tired. The fact that my professor doesn't take attendance made it even more tempting. But I didn't. I was a good kid and dragged myself out of bed. Such is life, right? Tomorrow is Friday, thank goodness.

Wednesday, January 27, 2010

I have horrible luck.

The one weekend my mom has a reason to come to Campbell, the forecast calls for several inches of snow. My mom won't drive two hours in the snow. Just. my. luck. :( She was also planning on bringing me a bunch of stuff I need for WalMart, so now Holly has to drive two hours roundtrip to help me. On the plus side, though, I get to see Holly! :)

Tuesday, January 26, 2010

Is it just me?

Or does anyone else feel like this week is ccccrrrraaaawwwwlllliiiinnnngggg bbbbyyyyyyyy?

It's probably because I'm so anxious for Saturday, but I am so unbelievably exhausted this week, even more so than before. My right foot started swelling today. I was stupid and decided to walk all the way to the post office because I thought it would be good for me and my back is still killing me, 7+ hours later. I still can't find my retainer (should probably give up on that). *sigh* Just not a good week in general.

On the upside, though, I love Wednesdays and Fridays. No class till 12? HECK. YES. And I ordered my and Holly's tickets for the Scarlet Grey show in March. Here's to hoping Blake doesn't decide to come that day; otherwise that'll be $72.50 down the drain. Hahaha.

Monday, January 25, 2010

200th Post

(Haha, how's that for getting out of having to come up with a creative title?)

Today sucked.
I've been burning up all day.
I got embarassed in French.
My Government teacher played a video that basically compared Obama to Hitler.
By Western Civ, I thought I was going to throw up and pass out.
I have a killer rebound headache.
And I still haven't found my retainer.
I'm considering just giving up looking for it, suffering the consequences, and calling to get a new one. I just have to wait till Mom repays me the money she borrowed this month. At least I know I'll still be able to buy the tickets for Charlotte with what she owes me.


Sunday, January 24, 2010


Why does the same thing always happen to me?

I left my retainer in my dorm on my desk before I went to dinner tonight because I didn't want to bring it with me and risk losing it.

Well, of course I had forgotten about it by the time I got back.

8:20 or so I realized I wasn't wearing it, and it wasn't on my desk.

*ensue panic*

I've looked everywhere in this tiny room, and it's like the thing has disappeared into thin air.

I know it has to be somewhere in this room. I didn't wake up till 1:00 this afternoon (*smile*), and I left for dinner about 5:15 and got back a little after 6:00.

I'm begging God to help me find it.

These things cost $250 to replace, and I feel like I've let my mom down again. *Edited to add: My mom actually thinks they're $150. That's so much better! Especially since I'll have to pay for it. :P*

God, You have the power to show me where this retainer is. I know that You care about every detail of my life, no matter how small. I come to you because as miniscule as a retainer is, it is very important to me that I find it. Please, please help me find this retainer. You are a loving God, and I know you will take care of me. Amen.

Saturday, January 23, 2010

An Amazing Unexpected Surprise

Okay, so I'm sure it's clear that I really miss my mom. Homesickness sucks. Well, last night my mom called and told me that Uncle Ed invited her, Chelsea, my grandma, and the whole family up to Campbell next Saturday because it's "Ed Gore Day" and there's this whole big shindig going on in the hospitality suite at the basketball game. And they're coming! SO EXCITED! Instead of having to wait 4 more weeks to go home for Chelsea's baby shower, I get to see them next weekend!

I've had a great day, too. Slept late, did laundry, hung out with Kari, went to dinner with her, and played pool. Too bad I somehow lost one of my favorite socks. It was part of my favorite, softest pair of socks, and somehow one sock got lost in the laundry. THIS is what happens when you have to share a laundry room with 120 other girls. ;)

Friday, January 22, 2010


Maybe it's just because it was the first full week of classes, but this week felt sooooooooo loooooooooong. Glad it's over and that I have two days to sleep in. :)

Today was a good day. I, of course, had French, Government and Western Civ. My Western Civ professor was sick on Wednesday, and I don't think she was completely better yet, but she just did nothing but talk today. And I have my notebook from the first 7 weeks of last semester, so I don't even have to bother taking notes for a while. The only semi-bad thing about today was that I realized my Government professor is a hardcore Republican, and he spent basically all class period talking about everything that Obama's doing wrong in the world. Just slightly irritating to a strong Democrat like me. ;)

My advisor rocks. End of story. (Okay, so not. You know me!) But seriously, last Wednesday, the first day of classes, I saw him in the hallway of the building where he teaches and where his office is. He told me to "stop by", but all of his office hours are while I am in class, and whenever else I tried to see him, he wasn't there. So finally, yesterday, I waited for him outside his 11:00-12:20 class after I got out of English, and we agreed to meet in his office at 10 this morning. Turns out, he had completely forgotten that he wanted to see me, and so he thought that the meeting was my idea because I needed to talk about something. Even though 10-11 is usually class prep time for him for his 11:00 class, he gave up that time and talked with me for 30 minutes. He told me about this class/internship that Campbell does for juniors and seniors in my department at Georgetown University! DC is exactly where I want to go! I definitely want to do it, probably the summer before my senior year. :) That was really exciting to hear about.

Take note: I think I might be actually getting a little bit good at pool! Not easy for someone with so many coordination issues and so much nerve damage like me. :)

Thursday, January 21, 2010

Rain, rain, go away!

Come I get a new umbrella.

I had an umbrella, but I tried to use it tonight when I went to dinner with my friend Kari, and it was broken in like two minutes. Luckily, it wasn't raining hard, and I had a hood. However, it was FREEZING COLD all day which made the rain feel like ice was falling on me. Not fun at all. Especially since yesterday it was in the 70s.

My English professor was actually nice to me some of the time today. Odd, considering how she treated me on Tuesday (the other reason I had a bad day). She was funny some of the time, too, which was another nice change.

Four weeks from tomorrow, I will be going home for the weekend for Chelsea's baby shower. She actually texted me today (while I was napping!) and asked me if I was coming. DUH! LOL. So excited. For the shower, and for the fact that I'm super homesick and get to see my mom. Then, it's only two weeks after that till Spring Break. :) But yes, don't you worry, I am enjoying college.

Okay, so last semester, one of the (many) days I was bored in the hospital, I went to Campbell's website and looked at their final exam schedule. Don't ask me why. But I realized that if I had been there the whole time with my original schedule, my exam schedule would've looked like this: Tuesday, December 1 - exam at 8 am, exam at 12 pm, exam at 3 pm; Wednesday, December 2 - exam at 8 am; Thursday, December 3 - exam at 8 am. Now, you might not know this about me, but I am so not a morning person. That's why, last semester when my advisor emailed the schedule he had made for me for this semester, I immediately emailed him back and asked him to change my 8 am Government course to a different time. :) Plus, 3 exams in one day is A LOT. And there was an opportunity to take one of those three exams on the last exam day, but I knew my mom wouldn't have wanted me to because that last exam day was Monday, December 7, and she would need to pick me up on the weekend. So all in all, that schedule would have sucked for me big time. Trust me, there is a point to all this rambling...

I just went back to the website to see if they had changed the exam schedule to this semester, and if the time slots were still the same as last semester, and this is my exam schedule now...

Monday, May 3 - English 3 pm
Tuesday, May 4 - Government 12 pm, Economics 3 pm
Wednesday, May 5 - Western Civ 12 pm, French 3 pm

No 8 am exams. No 3 exams in one day. And this semester, the last day of exams is Friday, May 7, so no matter what, I'd be done before the weekend so my mom could pick me up easily. Plus, I get to start out with a fairly easy exam and end with the easiest of them all! All in all, I am super happy.

Now, I must go...Grey's Anatomy is about to start!

Wednesday, January 20, 2010


Sometimes, it really sucks being away from home.

Last night, I tried to go to bed at 9. All of a sudden, I got extremely nauseous, overheated, and dizzy. I really did think I was going to throw up. (But I didn't.) As I was sitting by the toilet, I started crying. All I could think was, "I want my mommy." I didn't sleep much last night.

Then, this afternoon, my mom texted me and told me she's got another debilitating migraine. She had to go back to the doctor and get another shot and medicines today. Now, I wish I was home so that I could take care of her. I worry a lot, needless to say. And being two and a half hours away with no way to get home just makes it that much harder. =/

My feet are hurting worse today.

Tuesday, January 19, 2010

Bad day.

Mostly because of my feet. I've been hammer-toed since I was born. And it usually doesn't bother me, but I think they're getting worse. Every day it's hurting more and more to walk. But my mom thinks it's just my feet getting used to all the walking I'm doing here at school, and maybe she's right, but it worries me. She said if they're still bugging me in a couple weeks, we'll talk about it again. So we'll see. I really do hope she's right. I don't want two more surgeries. Plus, my orthopedic surgeon at Shriner's who did my back surgery won't do them because I turn 18, so I have no idea how we'd pay for them. The last thing we need is more medical bills. I guess all I can do is pray, right?

That's what they look like, and almost three years ago, when we first asked about possibly operating them, docs at Shriner's said they were really bad, but they couldn't operate on them then because since I was still growing, the bones would probably just slip right back.  But of course, now I'm done growing, and they can't operate on them now because I'm so close to "aging out."  *sigh*

Monday, January 18, 2010

The Water Balloon Brigades

Okay, so today in Western Civ, my professor was trying to explain how taxation worked in Ancient Civilizations and how a leader would use taxation to build up resources for war. This is basically what she said:

"Imagine if we were having a water balloon fight against another Western Civ class. I was your leader. I would need to tax you, my subjects, in order to get the resources we need. We would need the water and the balloons. I would have to get the water, the balloons, and then organize you into water balloon...brigades." Cue laughter. "We would have a water ballooon fight over this room, because the other class was in a small, cramped room. Since we have a lot of people, we could have a lot of brigades to throw the water balloons. Now, if we only had 5 people, we wouldn't need to fight. And water balloon brigades are violent stuff, you know." :) The entire class cracked up laughing for like 5 minutes. And this is my professor when she "isn't feeling good." :)

Agh, loads of family drama today. Apparently, Mom has been trying to call Holly and her roommate/best friend Carmen for days, and they haven't answered. So she texted me today all worried and I guess expected me to find something out. So I spent nearly an hour texting and calling both of their phones and IM-ing Holly on Facebook and got nothing. So I started getting all freaked out. And then, Chelsea texted me and told me to stop texting Mom, not making sense or anything, and that just makes me go "what the heck?" Thank goodness I finally heard from Carmen and apparently Holly is depressed about still not having a job and feels like a failure and doesn't want to talk to Mom because she thinks Mom will just make her feel worse, and she told Carmen not to answer my Mom, either. Say a prayer for her, if you would. I know she's trying. Anyway, at least that was resolved quickly.

I don't feel good today, and have been nauseous and dizzy for pretty much all of it. I sure hope I feel better tomorrow because Tuesday and Thursday are my early class days. And I took a nausea pill about 7:30 and it makes me pretty drugged, so I don't think I can think to write anymore.

Sunday, January 17, 2010


I'm only posting because I want to see if I can make it through a whole month and post every single day.

Campbell University Worship starts tomorrow. I've heard it's really boring, but we'll see. Good thing it's only once a week.

I'm really tired. I'm thinking of going to sleep after this till Brothers & Sisters comes on at 10.

No, I don't even care about the Golden Globes.

I have a quiz in Western Civ tomorrow on the policies and procedures from the syllabus. Easy.

I went down another level on my weaning schedule, so I have a worse-than-usual headache tonight, too.

I can't think of anything else to say. Good night! :)

Saturday, January 16, 2010


UPDATE 1/17 6:00 pm: Holly is going to take me to the show! SO EXCITED! :)


I received some news this afternoon that made me quite upset.  There's a band in Los Angeles, California, named Scarlet Grey.  I found them online and have been talking to them since August 6, 2007.  They quickly became much more than just some band whose music I liked; they were my friends.  They listened to me and we helped each other, counseled each other (they mostly counseled me), and basically acted like we had known each other our entire lives within a week. 

I've been waiting and waiting and waiting for them to be able to come out to the east coast so that we could finally meet.  So imagine my surprise and excitement when they left me a comment a few days ago that said they were coming here, to North Carolina, in March.  Needless to say, I freaked out.

Well, today I found out that their one NC tour stop is during my Spring Break, and it's in Charlotte, about six hours away from my house.  Yes, it's on a Saturday, March 13, but there's no way my mom would drive me all the way to Charlotte and back two days before Chelsea's baby is due.  And I thought that since March 14 was open, they could schedule a show that day closer to me, but they have no control over the dates because it's some other band's tour and they're just going along.  I told Holly and her best friend/roommate, Carmen, that I would buy their tickets if they would drive me to Charlotte, but I doubt they'll do it.

I know this is petty.  How can I be so upset about this when I hear about those poor Haitians everywhere I go?  I have everything I could need.  I'm being stupid, but this still makes me upset and I can't help that.  I've wanted this for a long time, and I thought I was going to get it, and then I got it snatched away from me.  No, I didn't just lose my house to an earthquake, but bad news still sucks majorly.  The end.

Friday, January 15, 2010


Last night, when I went to bed, my right hip started killing me. Don't know why. I've put heat on it and it's not doing anything, but I don't want to tell my mom yet because she'll either start worrying or get mad and tell me to stop complaining. I don't know. I just want this pain to go away. I think I'll go to bed early. My head and feet hurt on top of this. Not a very good day, despite having only one class. But tomorrow will come soon, and tomorrow is a new day. And we all know how often God's mercies are new, riiiiight? :)

Thursday, January 14, 2010

Day 2

Today was my early day. I got up at 8. I do not like getting up at 8. But I had to. I took a bit of time getting dressed this morning and then went to the dining hall for breakfast. The good thing about this dining hall is that it's pretty much in the middle of campus, and then from breakfast, I went to my Economics class, so it split the walk in half.

I got there super early because I had never been to that building before and I didn't want to rush, and I also had to find the room. Turns out - it's in the auditorium. Luckily since I got there so early I got a good seat. The class was easy. We read the syllabus. That only took about 25 minutes, and then we had to sit through this insanely long presentation from the business school librarian on copyright. BORING! But oh well.

Luckily, we got out early, so I was able to take my time getting to english, but the walk really isn't as long as I thought it would be. My English professor is already getting on my nerves. She spent the first hour preaching and then wondered why we couldn't get everything else she wanted done in the last 20 minutes of class. But whatever.

Then, I went back to the dining hall for lunch, and came back to the dorm and ended up sleeping for three hours. OOPS! I really have not done anything else today. Tomorrow, I only have one class because Drop/Add is tomorrow afternoon from 1:00-5:00, so all classes after 1 are cancelled. Yay for that!

Wednesday, January 13, 2010

First Day

Today's classes were good. The first day is always the easiest. Basically all we did in each class was go over the syllabus. Each professor talked about the basics of the class, and blah blah blah. The only bad thing was that we had to take a stupid assessment pre-test in Western Civ.

But the thing I LOVE the most is that my 1:00 Government and 2:00 Western Civ are in the same room. And French at noon is only one floor below that room. Easy commute. :)

Tomorrow is gonna be pretty bad, though. I have an Economics class from 9:30-10:50 all the way on the other side of campus, and then I have to get back to the center of campus by 11:00. Not going to be easy for my poor back. Oh well, there's not anything I can do about it.

Sorry this is short. I just don't feel like writing a lot tonight. I'm gonna finish watching the new SVU, go to my dorm meeting at 10, and then crash.

Tuesday, January 12, 2010

Good day.

Nothing really spectacular has happened, but it's just been a good day.
I woke up at 9, ate breakfast and watched A Baby Story.
Caught up on The Bachelor, since I was watching The Secret Life of an American Teenager and Make It or Break It last night while it aired.
Morgan arrived and I helped her unload her stuff.
We went to WalMart, and then went to Bojangles for lunch.
I rested for a while, and then played two games of pool with Kari at 2.
Morgan came by at 6, and we got Papa John's pizza together. :)
Then, we started watching Meet the Fockers, but she was so tired that we shut it off before it finished.
Then I watched The Biggest Loser.
Met Kari's boyfriend.
And now I am going to sleep.
So yes, it's been a good day. :)
My last day of freedom. Haha! Classes start tomorrow, but luckily my first one isn't till 12. Then I have a class at 1 and one at 2. Easy enough, especially since two of the professors were the two I had for my short time here last semester.
I'm so excited to get back into things!

Monday, January 11, 2010

Not much to say.

The only semi-interesting thing I did today was go to the bookstore and get my books so I can avoid the packed bookstore in the next couple of days. I also bought a toboggan (spelling?) (and the hat, not the sled!) becaues holy cow it is cold outside! I forgot to bring my inhaler with me when I went, and I thought I was going to have to take a nebulizer treatment when I got back! But thankfully, the inhaler and sitting still for a while took care of it.

Other than that, I really have just been hanging out all day. My good friend Kari got here at about 7:30 and since she lives in my dorm (just a few doors down from me!) came by to say hi before she got to unpacking and going to sleep because she was exhausted. I gave her the little camel I bought her in Myrtle Beach, and she loved it. We also made plans to hang out tomorrow afternoon.

My other good friend Morgan should be getting here tomorrow around noon, and I'm gonna help her unload her stuff. Then, tomorrow night we're gonna have a girls' night with Papa John's pizza, breadsticks, and my new TV and built-in DVD player with the load of DVDs I brought with me. Looking forward to that. :)

And I'm actually feeling pretty well. I only get headaches at night, but that's normal because my pain, no matter what kind it is, is always worse at night. So overall, things are good. I just must remember to bring my inhaler with me EVERYWHERE!

Classes start Wednesday! So excited!

Sunday, January 10, 2010

My day.

I barely slept last night.
Got up at 7.
Did laundry.
Mom made me breakfast. :) (french toast and bacon)
Fought with Mom because she decided her head hurt too bad to take me.
Mommom (grandma) picked me up.
Forgave Mom.
Went to Walmart to get the last stuff.
Got lunch at the McDonalds in WalMart.
Got to Campbell.
Holly arrived.
Unpacked some.
Went to WalMart to get some refrigerator food stuff and screwdriver for TV assembly.
Unpacked more.
Holly got my TV working.
And now I'm taking a break from unpacking because HOLY COW my feet hurt.
And I'm lonely.
My two closest friends don't get here till tomorrow and Tuesday.
But even still,
I am so unbelievably happy and excited to be back at Campbell!
The End.

Saturday, January 9, 2010


I. Am. So. Tired.
Which is odd since I slept pretty much all day and didn't start packing till 5:30.
Poor Mom has had an absolutely horrible migraine all week.
But I'm still soooooo excited!
I LEAVE TOMORROW!!!!!!!!!!! :)
I think I'll go to sleep now.
Must get up at 8.
Hope you all are well.

Friday, January 8, 2010

It didn't snow.

There's a shock.
Snow is so rare around here; I was not about to get excited. I remember a ton of times when the news would say snow was coming, and they'd cancel school, and it never snowed. Most of those times, we didn't even get frost.

Oh my gosh. Oh my gosh. OH MY GOSH. I leave in two days! I am so freaking out. I am so excited. My two best friends from Campbell don't get in till Monday and Tuesday (classes start Wednesday), but I don't care. Once I get there, I know time is going to fly.

I am freezing cold for some reason. I haven't been anywhere near outside, and my house has the heat on, so I have no idea why I'm so cold.

I finished Not My Daughter. It was AMAZING. Read it.

Okay, I'm tired. And tomorrow is going to be busy, so I should probably get some sleep.

Thursday, January 7, 2010

It's getting closer.

I went to the Commissary today with my grandmother and restocked my food supply for school.
The good news is that my grandma lets me get whatever I want.
The bad news is my grandma loves junk food even more than I do, and tries to get me to get stuff I don't want.
But really.
I'm so stoked.
Having 3 days left is almost over.
Tomorrow, it will be two days.
And on Saturday, I get to go to my favorite Mexican restaurant and my mom is making my favorite meal - lemon rosemary chicken.

It's supposed to snow tonight.  I'm just gonna wait and see if it actually does before I get all excited.  Snow isn't exactly a common thing here.

I picked up a book today.  Not My Daughter by Barbara Delinsky.  Oh. My. Gosh.  (Thank you, JD!)

Okay, it's late.  I am off.

Wednesday, January 6, 2010


I told you how I went to see my grandma (my dad's mom) on Saturday. Something came up in the conversation that I can't get off my mind.

Right after my dad died, his best friend and his coworkers at UPS got together and raised money for my sisters and me.  (I mentioned this a long time ago, in this post.)  Randomly, my grandma mentioned that we need to call him and ask for that money because he's saving it until we call and ask for it.  My mom and I tried convincing her that we've talked to him many, many times in the past ten years, and we still haven't gotten the money that we should have had from day one.  My grandma and he are divorced, and after all the lies he's told her in the past 50 years, she still honestly believes that he's held on to that money.

I don't buy it.  Neither does my mom.  He spent that money the day he got it.  I just know it in my gut.  He just wants an excuse to get credit, the same way he was when he waited five years to send us the original copies of the letters my dad wrote us before he died.  He had nothing to do with those letters, and he still kept them from us, just like he hid this money.

My mom told me something on the car ride home from that visit, when we were still fuming about what my grandma said.  She said that at my dad's funeral, he told us, "Children are resilient.  You'll be fine.  You can't imagine the pain I'm in."  Who says that to three young kids who just lost their father?  And now my grandma expects us to go to him and kiss up so we can get money that is ours?  No way.

Yes, I have too much pride.  I will be on welfare before I go crawling to him for that money, and my mom and Holly are the same way.  Chelsea, on the other hand, actually agreed to call him.  She thinks she can make him feel guilty.  My mom, who knows him much better than we do, told her, "You can't make a man with an ice-cold heart, incapable of remorse, feel guilty." 

Yes, I probably should forgive him.  But I'm not there yet.  I don't even think he wants forgiveness.  My cousins on my dad's side don't understand why we honestly hate him.  But that's because we're expected to keep quiet about the horrible things he's said and done to us over the past 10 years.  Like the time he beat Holly.  Or the times when he told my mom that she was a horrible mother because she didn't take my sisters and me to see my dad in the hospital, when that was a decision that she and my dad made together.  Or when his new wife (number 4) would smoke in the car with the windows rolled up, even after we told her about my bad asthma.

My cousin, Melissa, had a baby last February.  I still haven't met him, because she hates us.  At my dad's funeral, she got all the attention like she was the daughter (this is the one thing I remember), while we sat off to the side barely getting noticed.  His wife and children were barely noticed.  How screwed up is that?  Yes, one of my dad's brothers and his wife, Mark and Heather, have come around and talk to us, but not my "uncle" Mike and "aunt" Cindy.  And it used to hurt.  But now I just don't care anymore.  We didn't deserve to be ostracized like this. 

God, I ask you to please change me.  Change my heart and rid it of the resentment, hurt and anger I hold.  Open my grandfather's heart to treat us like his grandchildren again.  Help me be okay with the situation, even if I never hear from him again.  I know that anger does not honor You, and I long to give forgiveness in the way that Your Son did.  Amen.

Tuesday, January 5, 2010

I admit.

I am a reality TV lover.
Dancing with the Stars.
The Bachelor.
The Biggest Loser.
Those three shows are things I can't miss. If for some reason I do, I watch them online.
Stupid? Yes. Silly? Definitely.
But it's me.

In other news, FIVE DAYS TO CAMPBELL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hopefully I can get this cold to go away before then.

Tomorrow, I'm going to my old high school to visit Mr. Laughinghouse, my French teacher. I miss him and his class. He's the kind of guy that, the more he made fun of you, the more he liked you. Let's just say I got made fun of a lot in his class. ;)

Okay, I'm gonna watch Jillian Michaels on Jay Leno and take a shower. I need to go back to sleep soon.

Monday, January 4, 2010


It's cold outside.
And I have a cold.

I fell asleep at 2:30 last night, and literally slept till after 6 this evening.  And that's only because my sister woke me up for dinner.

I was going to write a really good post about something that's been on my mind since Saturday, but I don't think I have the energy.

Maybe tomorrow?

Sunday, January 3, 2010

Today, I'm lazy.

So, you get a survey.  There's really nothing else to write about.  Today, I've slept and watched TV.  That's it, literally.  So, on to the survey that I got from Laura!

What does your mom call you?
Mal pretty much all the time.

What are you thinking about right now?
Wondering who is going to win the Iron Chef Super Chef Battle.

Do you enjoy going through the car wash?
Now, yes.  When I was little, though, I was TERRIFIED.  I would literally cover my face with a book or anything I could find and scream bloody murder the entire time we were in the car wash.  I told my mom that I thought big monsters were coming at me.

What was the reason you last received flowers?
Hmmmm, I honestly don't remember the last time I got flowers.

Name some things you would never tolerate in a relationship?
Cheating. Abuse. Being controlled.

Could you go for the rest of your life without drinking alcohol?

Who was the last person you were in a car with under the age of 21?

Do you like pickles?
Ewwww, no.

Are you texting someone?
No, not right now.

Do you want to know the date of your death?

What was the last thing you looked up on Google?
The Twelve Irish Tenors. :)

When was the last time you went on a cleaning spree?
Tuesday night and Wednesday before we left for Myrtle Beach.

What are you listening to?
The Food Network. The premiere of "Worst Cooks in America."

Do you have a best friend that knows you inside and out?

Is green your favorite color?
No. My least favorite.

Have you known your best friend a long time?
Seven years.

Do you think you can know everything about a person?
No. Everybody has secrets.

Have you ever received a ticket from a police officer?
I don't have my license. So no.

Do your feelings get hurt easily?
By some people, yes.

What are you doing tomorrow?
Cleaning. Being lazy again.

Have you broken the law in the last 3 days?

Do you have someone of the opposite sex you can tell everything to?

Do you like to go out in the rain?
No! Not at all!

Is there someone you just CANNOT stand?

Have you ever considered getting a tattoo?
No.  I hate needles. Why would I willingly get poked with one a gazillion times?

Have your parents ever caught you drinking?

Do you love the last boy/girl you were talking to on the phone?

Last restaurant you went to?

Did you have an exciting last weekend?

Have you ever dyed your hair?
I've done highlights and lowlights, but I've never completely dyed it.

Is there anything in your past that you'd like to try again?
I'd like to see the Twelve Irish Tenors again. ;)

What's something that can always make you feel better?
Listening to music, or sleeping.

Have you ever worn the opposite sex's clothing?
Yes, once.  The first day I was at my host family's house in England in the summer of 2008, I took a shower because I was disgusting from being on planes for so long.  I put on a short-sleeved shirt and jeans.  We went out in their garden, and I was so freezing that the son, Paddy, gave me his jacket so I didn't have to walk up four flights of stairs to get mine.  He was chivalrous.  When we first pulled up to their house that day, I had barely taken my seatbelt off and Paddy had already gotten out of the car and opened my door.  I miss him. :(

Describe your best friend?
Wonderful. Funny. Smart. Musical. Caring. Protective.

I'll be back to my regular posting tomorrow.

Saturday, January 2, 2010

I'm the reason the football team had mono.

Got home from Myrtle Beach about 6:00 tonight.  You want a recap, right?  I know you do.  Well, good.  Cause you're gonna get one.  I'll try to make it quick 'cause I'm sniffly and exhausted.

We were planning on leaving about 1:00, dropping off the dogs, and then heading on down, but why should anything in our life go normally? Chelsea was helping Mom make banana nut bread and banana nut muffins, and they used walnuts that my sister has eaten before.  She tasted the batter and ate a couple of walnuts while she was chopping them and had a reaction.  Turns out, the walnuts are processed on machines that also process peanuts.  Chelsea is deathly allergic to peanuts.  We tried to take care of it at home, but it wasn't getting better quickly, so off to the ER we went.  Luckily, we got out in about two hours because both she and Blake were fine, so we came back home, packed, and left.  We got there about 8:30, and didn't really do anything on Wednesday but unpack, watch TV and play cards.

Thursday, we slept in.  We ate lunch in, and then headed out to WalMart.  Chelsea picked up a bunch of baby stuff (I even bought her two presents!), Mom and I bought some Dancing with the Stars workout DVDs, and I shopped a little. 

Then, we went and saw It's Complicated with Meryl Streep, Alec Baldwin, and Steve Martin.  Hilarious!  Absolutely loved it.

After that, we went to my favorite restaurant in Myrtle Beach......

Why is Dick's my favorite restaurant?  Because the entire experience is hilarious.  For one, you get served plastic bibs.

Plus, the waiters are incredibly rude the entire time, because they're supposed to be!  And you get to yell right back at them.  Oh, and you wear paper hats during the meal that have really funny, sometimes gross, and always mean things written on them by your waiter.  Take a guess as to what mine said. ;)

After Dick's, we went back to the movies and saw Sherlock Holmes. It was pretty good, but there was a lot more violence and fighting than I expected.  I thought it was going to be more focused on the mystery and crime.  It was still really good!  Robert Downey, Jr. and Jude Law are a great combination.  Then, of course, we went back to the condo and watched the ball drop and went to bed.

Friday, we all slept late again.  We had lasagna and garlic bread for lunch at the condo, watched Law and Order: SVU, and played cards till about 3:30.  Then, we went by WalMart again for Mom to buy an allergy cover for Chelsea's new mattress. 

Then, we went to the movies again and saw The Blind Side.  A great movie.  I accidentally fell asleep in the last ten minutes, though. :)  We had Applebee's for dinner.

At 8:00, we went to the Palace Theatre to see the Twelve Irish Tenors.  I wasn't feeling good yesterday, but this show picked me right up.  Phenomenal.  They sang a big variety of music, from the Beatles, to Frank Sinatra, to Barry Manilow, to opera, to good ol' Irish drinking songs, to Christmas music.  It was amazing.  I was speechless by the end of it.  The best part of all, though, was when I got their autographs and two pictures.

There was one guy, though, that caught my attention from the very beginning.  Seth.  When I went through the line, I told him he was my favorite and he went "Awww, really? Well, you're my favorite, too!"  He was totally okay with taking a picture with me, too, and even convinced the rest of the guys to take a picture with me, as well.  He even gave me a hug at the end!

I was the only one in the entire audience who got a picture with all 12 of them. :)
me and he cute or what? :D  too bad I'll never see him again. :( haha

All in all, I had a great time. Hope you all had a wonderful New Year celebration! Oh, and just for kicks...

Friday, January 1, 2010


It's officially 2010.
I hope you all had a good time celebrating the arrival of a new year last night.
I sincerely hope and pray that you, my wonderful bloggy friends, will be abundantly blessed this year. :)