The past few days.

You know your life is kind of sad when you are as excited to go to the doctor as I was to go to the neurosurgeon on Thursday.

Too bad nothing good really came of it.

The doc was irritated because my neurologist sent me to him before doing all the tests he could have done, and I didn't have all my records from Duke and my brain surgeries, because no one told me I needed to bring them. He needs to run a bunch of other tests plus get all the records from Duke before he can tell me anything. So I have to a) get Duke to fax him all my records, b) get Duke to mail me CDs of all my scans to bring to my next appointment, c) get a bunch of labs, d) get a shunt series (X-rays), and e) get checked out by a neuro-ophthamologist. I talked to my old neurosurgeon from Duke's office yesterday, and they emailed me a release form that I can print out, fill out, scan, and email back to them, so I've got to talk to my uncle tomorrow since he's bringing me meds anyway. I'll get the labs done next Monday the 25th at my primary care. The shunt series can be done as a walk-in next time I go down to see this doc. They sent the referral to the neuro-ophthamologist who will call me to make an appointment. Hopefully the fact that I don't have vision insurance won''t prevent me from being seen. Also, usually when a shunt is infected, there is redness around it, but there's not around mine, so that's a good sign; however, he's very concerned about how sensitive I am to touch on my head, so he "hopes it comes together quickly," because it's not a good sign that I can't stand for my head to be touched. If the labs and X-rays don't show anything, all he can do is tap my shunt, which he really doesn't want to do because of my history of meningitis (Duke docs are pretty sure I got meningitis thanks to them tapping my shunt when the valve broke). Meanwhile, I get to spend another month or so in constant, unexplainable, excruciating pain.

So...that's fun.

Yesterday, Mom and Mommom left for 10 days in Pennsylvania. I was going to go, but decided that I'd rather have 10 days to myself and hopefully be able to get some job applications done. (So far, that's been a no go thanks to my freakin head.) The silence is weird, but refreshing. My aunt and uncle are leaving on Tuesday, so then it'll just be me and Chelsea in town, but I don't even have to see or talk to her every day, so it's no big deal.

Today, I woke up feeling pretty good (well, pretty good for me, anyway) so I thought that after my afternoon of sports, I'd be good to get some work done. Ha! Guess again. As soon as the last game I cared about was over, my head felt so explosively painful I couldn't do anything but sleep. I can still barely turn my head. On the upside, the Wolfpack won, so there's something, I guess.

Sigh. I'm so tired of feeling like shit.

Here's hoping tomorrow is better. Hope for the best, prepare for the worst. Story of my life.

Graduation Recap

Well, this was a crazy couple of days. Graduation! Mom and Mommom got in Tuesday night, and I brought them my gown because Mom was going to iron it for me (bless her), but we all mostly just crashed because they were exhausted from the travel.

Bright and early Wednesday morning, Holly and I met them at their hotel. Mom did my hair for me because I needed to bobby pin the cap on, and we decided to go with this hairstyle for comfort and neatness. I liked it a lot.

One long-as-heck cab ride to the Bronx, and we landed here around 9:30.

And Holly took a picture once I got my gown and hood on.

Unfortunately, it wasn't until after we went our separate ways (graduates and guests had to enter from two different gates) that I learned I had to take the cap off to go through the metal detector. Luckily, a nice lady coming through behind me helped me get it bobby pinned back on in at least a reasonably neat manner.

I was in my seat a little after 10:00, so I had some time to kill. How else would I kill time besides pictures? I sent this one to a bunch of people I knew would be excited to see it.

And this one

I took because everyone else was taking pictures in the stands, so I figured why not? I needed something to keep me awake because I'd only slept like an hour and a half. (Holly hadn't slept at all.)

Then, the "All-University Commencement" started. The one remotely cool thing about it was seeing Billy Crystal get an honorary doctorate. I kept falling asleep, so towards the end of the ceremony when stuff for my school was done, I got a text from Mom saying they had already gone outside because it was freezing where they were in the stands, and I said screw it. Rule-follower me was overruled by the bored me who needed to get up and move.

I was so tired that I couldn't remember exactly where I was supposed to meet them based on Mom's text, but thank the Lord Holly had the foresight to wait in a spot where we could find each other. I ripped my gown off as soon as I saw her because despite the fact that the weather said it was supposed to be 60s and cloudy all day, it was about 75 and sunny and polyester is HOT. We walked a couple of blocks trying to get a cab, but when we realized it wasn't going to be easy to find one, Mommom and I went and sat down in a tavern on the street corner while Mom and Holly tracked one down.

Once they finally did, we came back down to our place and ate lunch at Spiegel (they let me pick since it's "my week"). While we were eating, Mom decided we should all get mani-pedis because a place nearby has a really good deal. Well, I couldn't even stay awake while the sweet lady working on me did my fingers, so I told Mom that even though we were supposed to try to go see a cheap show, I really just needed to sleep. And so did Holly. 

I was passed out cold by 5:15. Not kidding.

Today, Mom and Mommom weren't feeling well, I was still exhausted, and Holly had to work, so I slept in, ate lunch, took a shower, and meandered my way up to their hotel in Midtown around 2:15. By the time I got there, though, I had a terrible migraine, and they had the most comfortable bed I've ever laid on in a hotel (thank you, 4.5 stars and the deal we got on you), so I ended up sleeping until close to 4:30. My ceremony wasn't starting until 8:00, but I had to be there at 6:30, so we had to get ready for dinner then. I decided to wear my hair down tonight, because I liked how it was laying.

Their hotel just so happens to be across the street from the famous Algonquin Hotel, so we decided to go there for the experience. I got this for my meal.

Now, just about anyone who knows me knows that I love love love me a good steak. Well, this was OUT OF THIS WORLD good. I didn't even want sauce or anything with it like I usually have with my steaks, because, as I told the server, I couldn't imagine doing anything to mess with the impeccable flavor. My mouth is watering again just thinking of this steak.

The Algonquin is the famous hotel where the satirist and journalist Dorothy Parker and her colleagues had their "round tables" after work. This is a beautiful painting they have in the dining room of one of those round table dinners. They also have the round table (sitting in its original spot, I believe) because of course they do. #history

Then, we headed here.

A perk of going to a school like NYU is that, because they don't have sports teams, they don't have their own facilities to host graduations and events like this, which means we get to go to cool places for our events. Exhibit A: Yankee Stadium yesterday. Exhibit B: this tonight. 

Holly wasn't with us yet, so I asked a guy standing near us when we got out of the cab and got my cap and gown on if he would take a couple pictures for me. He was very nice and said sure.

Then, I asked a RCMH worker if there was any way I could go in early because I couldn't stand up very long and they weren't opening the doors as early as they said. They let me in, and I went to the bathroom and got to my seat before it got crazy. There were no assigned seats for this, which means I got to sit front row. More leg room plus first row for the walking/hooding part of the night plus the perfect view of the stage = win for me. 

Since I had so much time to kill, I asked one of the workers if I could take a picture on the stage. THE stage. Pretty much everybody who's anybody in the performance world has been on this stage.

So crazy. But the best part is that I asked a woman if I could take this picture, and a little while later, this older gentleman started saying no to other graduates who asked if they could get one. Hehehehe.

Surprisingly, despite having 1,300 names to get through, the ceremony was not nearly as exhausting or boring as yesterday's was. Maybe I was in shock from the feeling of getting hooded.

Afterwards, I found Mom and Mommom at their seats and we went out. The bad news was that Holly went outside to go smoke not aware of the fact that they wouldn't let her back in, and I had to return my cap and gown (NYU only rents them) before I could leave the building, so there isn't a family picture of all four of us with me in my gown. I do have a picture, though.

After that, we went back to Mom and Mommom's hotel and had a drink. Mommom got drunk after that one drink (ha!) so Holly took her upstairs, and then the three of us went to a pub a block away and had a couple more. By then, Mom was exhausted, so we all went home.

And then it was over.

So. I turned 23 a few days ago.

I love birthdays. All birthdays, not just mine.

Monday night, I went to dinner at one restaurant and dessert at Spiegel with Holly and her work-friend-who-is-now-also-my-friend Maureen. I had invited several other people but they all had to cancel, and Maureen ended up getting stuck in traffic without a phone to call us, so for a while there, I thought no one showed up to my birthday.

But we ate and we laughed and we shared a bottle of wine and Eddie from Spiegel sang for me even though he hates singing and it was lovely. Holly is taking me to the spa on Monday! Which I am super excited about.

And then there was more drinking and laughter and awesomeness in the apartment until I passed out at about 11:30.

Tuesday was spent, uh, shall we say, recovering from Monday. :)

Yesterday, I was no longer in "recovery" mode, but right off the bat I had a seizure at Spiegel, so I mostly just laid around and watched Netflix all day. Holly has gotten me hooked on the TV show Bones, and considering what a crime drama nerd I am, I can't believe I've never watched it before now.

Today, I went to therapy, which was good. My counselor this time has helped me more in two sessions than the one I had last time did in an entire semester. Then, I went to Kmart and got toilet paper and new headphones, and ended up pretty much getting the toilet paper for free because of Kmart's rewards (yay!). Then it was more sleep and more Bones.

Tomorrow, I should get to hang out with Christian and his girlfriend since they were unable to come on Monday, so I'm really looking forward to that. :)

I've been waiting for this.

Over the 6+ years of this blog, I think it's safe to say that it's been well-documented that Holly and I haven't always a good relationship, or a relationship at all, really. Which is a big part of the reason why I expected living with her to be much more difficult than living with a stranger. (Silly, silly me.)

It wasn't until we moved up here that we became the kind of sisters I often used to wish we were. The sisters who didn't just get along, but who enjoyed spending time together and confided in each other. I actually really like having her here, especially considering everything that's been happening.

I used to think that she showed up at ERs or came to the hospital with me just out of a sense of duty, because of the fact that even when we don't get along, we're still family and that's what family does. It never really occurred to me that she really could be concerned for me and worried about protecting me. Once, one of her ex-boyfriends told me there were several times where he had to hold her as she cried over fear of losing me or something bad happening to me, but honestly, I thought he was exaggerating or making something up to try and make me feel bad (which, if you knew the context of the conversation in which he said that and the history of our interactions with each other, wouldn't be far-fetched). I truly did not believe that she was that emotionally invested in me, because she'd spent so many years seeming to cut herself off from the family.

Well, turns out that ex-boyfriend was telling the truth. Last weekend, I fell in Spiegel's bathroom and hit my head and got rushed to the hospital as a trauma patient (no worries, everything is fine), and when you're in a trauma room, no one but medical staff is allowed in there. The doors were shut and for the first time, Holly wasn't allowed to be with me. When they brought me back out of the trauma room, the look on Holly's face was like she'd seen a ghost. It was honestly unlike anything I'd ever seen from her. Until a couple nights ago.

Because then, we were talking, and she told me that sometimes she still has nights where she wakes up in a cold sweat because of having nightmares about me getting hurt or dying. To say I didn't expect that would be an understatement. While I definitely do not like scaring anyone, especially my family, it actually really hit me in a good way to hear her say that. And that's only because it showed me that I never really had my sister figured out like I thought I did. She's very good at putting up walls and not letting people see or know what is really going on with her, which pretty much explains the first 22 years of my life with her, but I think moving here together and being so far away on our own has helped us both to tear down walls we had up to shut each other out. We haven't had a choice but to rely on each other.

Family is hard. But as messed up and dysfunctional as mine can be, and all the tense history it holds, particularly with me and my sisters, I'm still really grateful for it. I feel like, with Holly, I'm finally getting the sister relationship I tried so hard to get before, the one I hoped and prayed would come. Who would've guessed that moving 600 miles away was all it took to make it happen?

Friday, Friday

Holly refused to let me come out with them tonight for the crew's last night in the city, pulling the bitchy big sister card to get me to stay home and rest. She's probably right, no she almost certainly is, but it still hurt really badly.

Needless to say, despite the fact that I got less than five hours of sleep today between the ER and here in the recliner, after that fight and the tears, I haven't been able to sleep since.

Up until that fight though, it was a nice day. CH made a big meal of breakfast for dinner and we just had fun hanging out.

After they left and I calmed down, I watched a lot of TV to distract myself.

Overall, I still really like this week.

Just Like Always

Family is hard.

Sisters are hard.

Relationships are hard.

It's like every time you get me, Mom, and Holly together, all the same feelings rise up and the same fights break out and I end up feeling the exact same crappy way that Holly will always win out for my mom's attention, my mom will always like her more, and I will always be looked at as the baby brat whose feelings are totally invalid. Even though Mom and I are great alone together, and Holly and I are good together (most of the time), this always happens and I'm tired.

The one good thing about tonight is that when I left the bar in tears, a guy stopped me on the sidewalk and, though I first thought it was a little weird, he was very sweet and let me vent and cry and we talked and have been texting and we've hit it off and we have a lunch date on Saturday.

Since when did I become the responsible one?

I didn't make it to work today. A combination of still being pretty much comatose from my hospital stay + trying to get up when my alarm went off and barely being able to stand on my leg meant that it just wasn't going to happen.

I basically did not wake up again until I needed to eat dinner before my meeting. I have a group project in my Foreign Policy class, so my partners and I had to get together to figure some stuff. It was annoying. These guys talk way too much and get off on a lot of tangents, and one of the two argued with every little thing that I said or suggested.

Tonight, we went to Murphy's, the Irish pub where Holly works.We had so much fun! I couldn't drink at all because of the vicodin I'm on, but Holly and Mom drank plenty, plus we met a lot of Holly's work friends and they are awesome. We laughed so hard together. It was a bit rough being the only sober one and having to take care of them, though.

Around 1:30, we came home and all crashed hard. Thankfully, the two wild ones managed not to wake up the roommate.

Neither of these are April Fool's jokes.

#1: I have to get X-rays tomorrow. I had an appointment with my primary doc today, because I needed a new prescription and I needed a referral from her before I go to the hospital on Friday. But today, getting out and walking to class, my leg and ankle have been hurting worse and worse, and the bruising is also getting worse, so I decided to get her to look at it while I was there and see if she thought it was just bruised or if I needed to do something else. So I pulled my sock and shoe off and she exclaimed, "Girl, that should have been the FIRST thing you came to see me for today!" Yeah...so I have what's called an air cast, which basically just serves as a brace for support, and orders to go to the health center's radiology department for X-rays tomorrow to make sure there's no small fracture in there or anything because, well, limbs just aren't supposed to look or feel like this. Needless to say, I won't be drinking again for a while.

#2: Mom will be here Sunday-Friday next week for her Spring Break. Granted, at least the first day and a half I'll be in the hospital and then I have to deal with class and work, but still. I get to see her. She's coming HERE. Holly offered to buy her a plane ticket - Mom said no because by this point tickets are way expensive - Holly said "screw that" and bought her one anyway. The one thing I really want to do is take her by the dance studio.

So at least it wasn't all bad news today. :)

It is cold and I have a cold.

I went to bed last night feeling just fine health wise (just achy from work), and woke up this morning sneezing my head off and completely congested. Apparently somewhere between 2:30 am (when I finally fell asleep) and 8:00 am (when I had to get up) I was hit by a very nasty cold who arrived to seek its vengeance.

I forced myself to go to an appointment at the Student Health Center because I had to get a new prescription for my anxiety med, but that was all. I decided to skip my afternoon class, but then I remembered that class was canceled today anyway, so that worked out nicely for me. Especially because I proceeded to sleep the day away.

I woke up and ate and sat in the recliner physically unable to move for lack of energy in my muscles. I watched TV until Holly got home and she dragged me out to a bar to watch the Duke/UNC game because this is a big deal and we have such basic cable that we don't even get ESPN. It was great until we got in a fight and I left. Sisters. They're exhausting. Of course we made up later because sisters. It's what they do. And she actually apologized which is something she rarely does. So at least the night didn't end completely awful.

And then I had to stay up super late because I forgot I had to turn in a paper for my European Union class today. Lucky for me it was a super short one. But I was still up until 4 am. So oops.

That time dirty socks taught me a lesson about Jesus.

So one of the ways that Holly helps me out while we live together is that we do our laundry together, so I can have her help physically moving and changing it all, since our laundromat is a couple blocks away.

Well, the thing about this arrangement is that I am at her mercy as to when she feels like doing laundry, as she has very little regard for whether or not I need stuff washed. And especially the past few days, the pain is so bad that I really couldn't just go do my laundry myself.

I got seriously upset and frustrated, way more than I should have, because she delayed doing laundry again, and I have no clean socks. I called Mom because I really just needed to vent, and she made me realize why I got so upset over the whole thing. (And that if I only have 12 days worth of socks, I should probably go buy more socks, anyway. Moms, what are they there for?)

I like structure. I thrive on structure. And that isn't a bad thing. As Mom said, that's how I managed to stay caught up in school through all the health stuff, how I graduated college with high honors, how I wrote 3 big grad school papers in 12 days. But most people are not as into structure and plans as me. (I responded no one is as structured as me.) Holly definitely is very go-with-the-flow and always has been. So if she decides on Monday that she really doesn't feel like doing laundry until Wednesday, it really doesn't make that much of a difference to her. And truly, it shouldn't have made that much of a difference to me. Wearing dirty socks for a day won't kill me. Also, I really should go buy more socks.

But the thing that stood out to me was that, almost instantly, my mom said, "You're frustrated because you're not in control of the situation." At first, I thought she was lecturing me about being a control freak again, to which I said she was completely missing the point because I wasn't trying to be a control freak. She replied, "No, I'm not saying you're being a control freak. I'm saying that you're dependent on her in this situation because you need her help, and everyone hates when they have to depend heavily on someone else because then they can't control the situation."

After I got off the phone with her, all I could think about was all the times I've gotten scared or frustrated or upset because I had to depend completely on God and I couldn't see what was coming, all the times I knew that I wasn't in control. It can often really suck. It's scary, and not a good feeling, especially for someone like me who thrives when I know what is going to happen and when it's going to happen.

This is why I picked FEARLESS as my One Word for this year. Because I want to take my sanity back. I only have a tiny piece of this scroll that is rolled out for eternity. I'm going to not know the details or the plan a heck of a lot more than I'm going to know them. God is the one good consistently good thing in my life; trusting God really should not scare me. There's a reason the Bible says "Do not be afraid" several hundred times. In fact, I was reading John 6 last night and the disciples are in a boat on the ocean when Jesus comes up to them in the dark and they're scared and all he says is "It is I, do not be afraid." I know that God is in control. I should find peace in that, not fear. I pray that this year is the year I become able to live that out.

And so yeah. That's the story of how dirty socks taught me a lesson about Jesus.

New crazy makes you appreciate your normal crazy.

The roommate got back tonight! The normal roommate, not the crazy temporary one. Hopefully I never have to see that lady again. I know the roommate and I have had a few issues, but she really is pretty awesome, and it was obvious what a good roommate she is after dealing with crazy.

She didn't get here until almost midnight - her mom, sister, and aunt all drove her down to help her bring back all her stuff - and almost immediately she asked Holly and me what it was like living with the temporary lady, and that turned into like an hour long venting session of how bad it was. And it turns out, the roommate was even bothered by her over break because she kept calling and texting her about stuff that the roommate could do absolutely nothing about while 200 miles away with her family. Sort of like how she called me then Holly about our mailbox while we were in North Carolina.

So she unloaded most of her stuff and then Holly convinced the two of us to go out for a drink. So we did that and ended up staying out until 2 am. It was good to be reunited the three of us.

That's the only remotely interesting thing that happened today, as I forced myself to take pretty much the whole day off and didn't get out of bed, but then I did get this little introduction thing and bibliography for my final paper done and sent to the professor like he asked me to. So the day wasn't a total bust.

The final paper involves discussing six sources, plus an introduction and conclusion, so as long as I get at least two sources done tomorrow, then I'll be in good shape to finish this thing just in the nick of time on Monday like I promised. And then I'll have a mental day off right before my first class on Wednesday. I'm so excited for that! No seriously. I'm so excited.

The Day After

Considering my mom spent the better part of the past three days in the kitchen - because oh yeah, before the game last night, she made a huge meal of fresh seafood per Holly's and my request - she rightfully declared today a day of leftovers and no work.

Which became only even more fitting when we watched another movie after the game (The Other Woman is awesome) and then stayed up until 6 am reading Mom's old high school yearbook. (So many stories. I'd be dead if I divulged even a detail. Let's just say it seems like every guy my mom ever spoke to in high school was in love with her.)

After that I took two back-to-back breathing treatments and thus had so much Albuterol coursing through my system that I didn't fall asleep until after 8 this morning.

And somehow I'm the only one who didn't sleep the entire day away. Ha! But to be fair, Holly was incredibly hungover and Mom is about to leave (yes, at midnight) to take Holly to the airport in Raleigh because her flight leaves at 7 am and leaving at 3 am and getting back after 9 is a bad idea even for my serious night owl of a mother.

But I had a peaceful day. I watched the Duke bowl game (which they barely lost, boo), unpacked all of my stuff because I finally have a dresser in my room to store stuff for the next couple weeks, and just relaxed. I really hope I start feeling better soon because breathing is not supposed to be this painful only from an allergy attack.

Tomorrow, I have to get down to business on the papers I have to make up. I have 30 days to write 55-60 pages. I wrote 40 in six this spring, and twenty of that was in French. I'll be just fine. Just gotta suck it up and do it.

Tonight, I'm watching another episode of House of Cards, doing laundry, and taking a long hot shower.

On the first day of Christmas, my true love gave to me...

Four cold meds, an antibiotic, and round the clock breathing treatments. Merry Christmas to me!

All kidding aside, today was pretty great. Minimal drama from Chelsea, lots of good food, the uncle and aunt and cousins were loads of fun, Blake was here, more money than I expected to get, all good things. So I may have felt absolutely awful, but at least I had fun.

I was really glad to get to see my cousin Dusty because he leaves for boot camp in early March and I definitely won't be back before then. Plus he brought his girlfriend along and I got to meet her and she seems awesome. And he and I get along so well now. I know I say that every time I see him, but it's still kind of weird for me because we really did not get along at all for so many years. I couldn't have imagined the relationship we have now.

After all the cleanup, Mom, Holly, Mommom, and I sat down to watch a movie, which we do after most holiday meals. Small tip? If someone suggests renting the movie "Hit By Lightning" SAY NO. It was bad. Really bad. Like, so bad it was funny just how awful it was. Holly fell asleep halfway through it, Mommom couldn't stop complaining, and Mom couldn't stop laughing about how bad it was.

I, on the other hand, just focused on breathing.

Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night. This holiday comes to a close.

Let the feasting begin!

Well, I may be sick, but that doesn't mean I can't enjoy the food that comes with holidays in this family.

Just like last year, my mom made two giant lasagna, one for tonight, one for New Year's Eve. So tonight, the house was alive.....with the smell of roasted garlic. Mmm mmm good.

Tonight wasn't great in family terms because, well, Chelsea is Chelsea and Chelsea doesn't change, but everyone besides her largely kept their cool, so it could have been a lot worse. And I was way too sick to get fired up.

And once she left, the whole night was lovely. I slept, Holly painted the bathroom, and Mom got most of her cooking done.

I woke up around 11:30 and we watched television and ate and they wrapped presents. Christmas Eve prepping is fun when you're expecting a 4-year-old in the morning.

A step in the right direction.

Today I washed a whole sink full of dishes, and my shoulder didn't hurt any more than it did when I started! It's the little things.

The rest of the day was choir practice (which was even more fun that last weekend) and lots of laziness.

I've been on a Ramen kick lately. Holly even showed me the easy way to cook it that bypasses a stove and only requires getting one bowl dirty. So yay for that.

I spent almost two hours texting Clayton tonight and we decided he's going to come down to the coast and visit me while we're both in NC for the holiday! I am SO excited. That's like, the best thing to happen for me this Christmas. He's pretty much the only person from Campbell I really miss that won't still be at Campbell when I visit next month.

It's an early morning tomorrow for the service because we have to practice beforehand. I hate early, but I like church and I like singing, so it all evens out I suppose.

My wish is Mother Nature's command.

Isn't that nifty?

It was snowing most of the day today. The ground wasn't cold enough for it to stick, but I still got to walk outside with snowflakes falling hard all around me, which was pretty spectacular. There's something magical about snow. It'll only be even better when it sticks. 

I didn't have to go to class today, but I'm trying to do at least one thing a day that will help build my stamina back up, so randomly, I decided to ask Holly if she wanted to go out to dinner. We call it our "sister dates," which is cute if you ask me. After some searching, I found this Italian restaurant a couple subway stops away that was incredible. I scarfed down the lasagna and the raspberry crumb cheesecake I got for dessert was on another level. Cheesecake is my favorite dessert, so I eat a lot of it, so it's hard for one to blow my mind, but this one made me say "Oh my God!" as soon as I put it in my mouth.

It was a good evening.

And to boot, I got a picture of me that I actually really like. Minus the eyebrows that needed to be shaved back down clean, but I don't think you can tell that too much here. So yes, I like this picture. And I like sister dates. :)

Apparently I can take my sling off in my sleep now.

Because I woke up and it was unhooked from me. I think I remember thinking that my elbow was hurting but don't remember taking it off. But who can blame me for that? My elbow has been at a right angle for three solid months now. It was bound to get cramped. So I went to get a glass of wine next door tonight because the roommates are bugging me majorly and decided to go without my sling since it is just next door and wasn't any major physical activity and my arm seriously hurts being straightened out and not strapped to my stomach. So that'll be fun to deal with.

I know I'm a whiner. But my body is weird and annoying.

My new coat and gloves came in today! Mom got them for me for Christmas since I don't have anything appropriate for a New York winter. The timing was perfect since it didn't get above 30 degrees today which is only a foreshadowing of things to come.

I'm going to have to figure out how to get to and from the grocery with one arm tomorrow. I've been asking Holly to do it for a week now and now it seems like she's just ignoring me to be mean and I'm tired of having to spend so much money because we have no food or drink in the house. So that will be interesting. Especially if it's as cold tomorrow as it was today. Eh, even if I can't wear the coat because of my sling, at least I can wear my gloves.

Truth be told, the cold may be rough, but I much prefer it over the heat, and I really can't wait for my first NYC snow! :)

Throwback

Today was Holly's birthday!

After I got out of class, I went to a tattoo parlor and sat with her while she got her very first tattoo. She got a surprisingly large sparrow on the back of her left shoulder. It is rather beautiful. If I ever lose my mind and decide to get a tattoo, I'm going to her artist because he was awesome, talented, and cute to boot. ;)

The afternoon was lazy.

In the evening, we ate dinner, the roommate made a cake, and we had a few drinks while singing 90s music at the top of our lungs. It was heavenly. I haven't listened to most of those songs in ages and now want to go buy them all on iTunes.

They went out late that night and I went to bed. I'm not much fun with my stupid arm still in this sling.

A Sister Thanksgiving. And I need your help.

Today was really really great.

Holly and I slept until 3 in the afternoon. Mostly because we stayed up half the night watching stuff on TV that really could have waited but didn't. But then she started cooking and I laid here but helped her when she needed me and when I could with one arm. We watched The Daily Show with Jon Stewart and Gilmore Girls while that went on.

It was all done by 6:30. We had chicken, asparagus, garlic mashed potatoes and stuffed mushrooms. And it was very delicious and reminiscent of meals by Mom.

We watched more Gilmore Girls until the Seahawks/49ers game and then proceeded to watch the Seahawks kick 49er tail.

After that, I took a shower while Holly did the dishes.

And then, she introduced me to Frozen. That was certainly...interesting, to say the least. All I can think right now is "Do you want to build a snowmaaaaaaan?!" But so fitting to have a sisterly love movie when it's just the two of us here. I was feeling kind of down and homesick yesterday being here for the holiday, but today turned out really great, and I'm super thankful for Holly's effort into the meal.

But here's how I need your help. After talking it over with my mom, I have decided to set up an online fundraiser to raise money to go towards next semester's tuition. The internet can be a powerful source, and I really feel out of options here. Please read my story, donate as much as you can, and spread the word, and if you can't donate, just pray that God will get this to the people who can help me. Thank you in advance. Here's the link:

http://www.youcaring.com/tuition-fundraiser/help-mallory-go-to-grad-school/269861

I'm too old for this.

And by "this", I mean waking up just after 7:00 am, because my body decided to skip the last half hour of sleep I could get, and still being awake past 2:30 am, because starting to do laundry at 10:30 at night and then watching episodes of Last Week Tonight with John Oliver when we got home from the laundromat seemed like a really smart plan for Holly and me. Ha!

Let's see there was class. My professor was almost 40 minutes late, but luckily he warned us last week that would probably happen because

we had our exam today. The only exam of the class. I think I did okay. I feel good about 2 of the 3 essays. It felt eerily similar to essay exams from Thornton or Schroeder back at Campbell.

Then I went to McDonald's and ate lunch and read one of my Civil War articles until

therapy time. Nothing like getting confronted by someone who's only spent a couple hours with you about your problem of attracting broken people because you want to fix them to humble you real quick like.

Then I came home.

I tried to read some more but decided to take a nap.

Then my nap got ruined.

I tried to read again.

Ate dinner.

Took a shower.

Holly finally woke up.

We got distracted by Dancing with the Stars.

And then John Oliver.

And then finally laundry. We both needed to do it very badly.

And then Gotham while we, or rather she folded.

And then more John Oliver. "Cranberries taste like what raspberries drink before their colonoscopy." You can thank John Oliver for that image now in your head.

And that's how I ended up blogging at 2:45 am.

Good thing I don't have to be anywhere for another 12 hours because I need sleep and plan to sleep hard.