Family is hard.
Sisters are hard.
Relationships are hard.
It's like every time you get me, Mom, and Holly together, all the same feelings rise up and the same fights break out and I end up feeling the exact same crappy way that Holly will always win out for my mom's attention, my mom will always like her more, and I will always be looked at as the baby brat whose feelings are totally invalid. Even though Mom and I are great alone together, and Holly and I are good together (most of the time), this always happens and I'm tired.
The one good thing about tonight is that when I left the bar in tears, a guy stopped me on the sidewalk and, though I first thought it was a little weird, he was very sweet and let me vent and cry and we talked and have been texting and we've hit it off and we have a lunch date on Saturday.