Good news and bad news.

Good news: I went to the doctor today.
Bad news: The doctor didn't confirm that I have a sinus infection, which would explain why my snot is green.

Good news: It's just a bad case of bronchitis, not strep or the flu, the latter of which could put me back in the hospital.
Bad news: It's a bad case of bronchitis.

Good news: I have medication and cough drops.
Bad news: I still can't breathe and am taking breathing treatments round the clock.

So yep. Just thought y'all would like to know that this isn't anything super serious. It's slightly serious simply because my immune system is still so compromised, but as long as I kind of quarantine myself and give this medicine time to work, I should be good to go. Oh, and I discovered something new today! If you get shots in your butt, they don't hurt! I had to get a shot of steroids because my doc didn't want to give me steroid pills because of my crappy immune system, and my mom said the nurse stuck all of a kind of big needle into my butt, and I didn't feel a thing! For someone who hates needles as much as I do, this is an important thing to know.

I can hardly breathe.

My asthma is really screwed up.
I'm taking my 3rd breathing treatment in the past hour and a half and I can still hardly breathe.
I'm scared.
My immune system is still practically non-existent.
I don't want to go back to the hospital.
I don't want my mom to have to be out of work again.
Lord, help me. I'm desperate.

I think I'm getting worse.

My need for breathing treatments is getting closer and closer together.
I think I should see if my grandma can take me to the doctor sometime next week.
Ugh.
It's just one thing after another with me, isn't it?
*yawn*
Hope you all are well.

Blah.

I hate being sick. I just feel so out of it.

Today sucked. Not only do I feel bad, I burned the crap out of the side of my hand, and Chelsea was especially defiant and rude.

I don't know what's up. Mom thinks it's a cold or I'm coming down with the flu, because my asthma's all flared up. The good news is my temperature high today was 99. Yes, for someone who usually runs 97-97.5, that's a little odd, but still good. Here's to hoping I don't get a fever. Fevers are a rare thing for me, anyway. I can have several infections at the same time (various combos of sinus, respiratory, and each of my ears) and have a normal temperature. (That's another reason why the 100.8 I got the night I went to Duke for the staph infection was especially alarming.)

Ugh. I think I'm just going to go to sleep.

I meant to blog yesterday.

But I forgot.
I had a much better day yesterday.

I only felt nauseous for a little bit. My headache was much better. Ms. Rachel and Abby Grace came to town for the afternoon and stayed for dinner, so I got some sweet baby lovin'. :)

So yes, yesterday was much better, but I don't feel good today. *sigh* I might blog again tonight.

I feel horrible today.

I didn't fall asleep till 4 am last night, because I slept so much on the way home from Duke.
Because of that, I slept through 9 am when I needed to take my Oxycontin.
Because of that, I woke up at 12:50 pm with a killer headache.
I took my Oxycontin and 10 mg of Oxycodone, and my headache was gone at 1:30.
By 3:00, it was back, and I started feeling really nauseous.
So I took Phenergan at 3:30.
That didn't work.
I took another 10 mg of Oxycodone at 5:45.
That didn't work, either.
I've been nauseous all freakin day, and my headache is a 9.
I tried eating saltines and drinking ginger ale.
I think that made it worse.
I took another Phenergan at 6:35, because the total dose of the two was something they'd given me in the hospital.
I later puked, and still didn't feel better.
The one and only good thing is that my temperature is normal.
But I feel absolutely horrible.
I think I'm just gonna go to sleep.

***8:30 pm - I threw up again. A lot. BOO.

Relief

The appointment went fine. It took forever (1 hour 40 minutes before I even got called back), but it was fine. That mysterious lump is just a swollen lymph node. Mom's still freaked about it, but hey, she's a mom. ;)

I'm quite relieved. But then I'm thinking, is this what my life has resorted to? Constantly being afraid that something's about to go wrong? Uh-uh. Go away, Satan!

I'm warning you. Otherwise I might have to punch you in the face.

Hey, I need to punch something today!

I can't help it. I'm scared.

I keep thinking about this stupid lump behind my ear.

What is it?
Why is it there?
Is it more bad news?

It's making me scared to go to the doctor without my mom, for fear that I'll get there, ask the docs about it, and find out it's something else gone wrong.

I guess it doesn't help that I've been listening to my mom talk all day about how it's worrying her. I wasn't worried pretty much all day. But now it's just hit me.

*sigh*

Lord, help me. Protect me tomorrow. Wash away this fear now so I can get some rest.

Oh, is that for me? Oh, you shouldn't have!

But I'll take it anyway.
:)

So I had to go to my mom's school with her today and help her get all her grades put in. I met lots and lots of people whose names I've heard but never seen before today.

One lady, Ania, bought me a present. "For being a trooper," as she put it.

You wanna know what it was?

The High School Musical 3 DVD. :)

SWEET. And I can't believe this woman bought a present for a girl she'd never met. She must really like Mom, huh?

That kind of made my day.

-----

The pain clinic appointment was fine. The doc isn't worried about how I'm doing, and she's letting me decide when I'm ready to taper off the drugs instead of deciding it for me like they try to at Duke.

-----

My mom found a lump behind my right ear today. We don't know what it is. It's not the shunt because we can feel the shunt tubing running beside it. She's really worried about it. I'm trying not to be. I've told her I'll get it checked tomorrow because my grandma's taking me to Duke to get my last stitches out. So we'll see.

I know I've been asking for a lot of prayers lately, but I'd appreciate them again. I don't know if I can take another thing going wrong.

-----

Okay, I'm exhausted. Go figure.

Not much to update.

I'm really tired.
My stomach is finally getting straightened out.
I have some obligatory appointment with a pain clinic tomorrow morning.
Chelsea's driving me insane.
I miss Campbell.
Did I mention I'm really tired?
Yes?
Then that's it.