Monday, August 8, 2011

Unwanted Tests and Changing Plans

Holly's car won't start.  Thus, she can't come home.

And on top of that, Chelsea and Mom decided to get into World War 3 on the way home from picking Blake up from daycare (thankfully, I wasn't with them).  Mom has spent half the night crying and half the night ranting about how she's not going to help with Chelsea's wedding and spend a bunch of money while she continues to treat her like crap.  So this mysterious fight must've been bad, because in almost two months of Chelsea and Shane being engaged, she hasn't said that until today.  And now we're not going to Wilmington tomorrow to go dress shopping like we were supposed to, although I think Holly not being here factors into that decision a tiny bit.

The "test" is the fact that they both have repeatedly tried to drag me into the middle of their fight today, by expecting me to deliver messages to each other so I have to listen to them yell at me.  I told them both that I am not going to be a dang messenger and they need to leave me the heck out of it, since every other time they fight they yell at me for getting involved.  It's like I can't win.

To be completely, I'm really proud of myself for not only not getting in the middle of it, but for standing up for myself and telling them to leave me alone.  I can't think of one other time where that's happened.

Basically, I'm come to the realization that I have to stop fooling myself into thinking that I can fix anything about this family.  I can't fix them.  And furthermore, it's not my responsibility to fix them.  I am the kind of person who hates problems and wants to solve them and fix any pain I see, and I just can't do that anymore.  It's going to kill me. 

I haven't cried today, which is rather unusual for me, but hey, I'll take it. 

Six days.


  1. I felt so much freedom when I realized that I couldn't fix my parents (not that they needed fixing THAT much, but they had a few little issues). Of course it was easier for me because I wasn't living at home then so I wasn't in the middle of it.

    So you did the right thing & I'm proud of you!

  2. Stand your ground and don't get involved. And as another person who wants to, even needs to, fix things and people it is so very hard to let go and realize that you can't fix everything and everyone, isn't it?