Monday, August 29, 2011


I've had a rather unexpected topic on my mind for a few days.  I guess I'm calling it unexpected because I don't really even remember what brought it on.  But I'm taking the fact that I can't get it out of my head as a sign that I just need to blog about it and get it off my chest.

Because I've grown up without a dad or a male figure in my life for so long, my mom has kind of instilled in me, whether intentionally or not, that I can be independent.  I need to be an independent woman because relying on a man to "save" or "take care of" you will only leave you in a bad situation.  And I think that for the most part, I am a very independent person, obviously aside from how much I've needed my mom from being sick so much. 

But I'm still a girl.  I will always be a hopeless romantic.  I want that guy who is head over heels in love with me, and there's no shame in that. 

The thing is, though, part of me dreams of having a man/husband who wants to protect me and take care of me.  Does that go against all of the lessons on independence that my mother has instilled in me?  Maybe.  All I know is that in my mind, I dream of a man who isn't Matt that gives me the feeling of being protected that Matt always has.  I am very secure in the fact that I don't need a boyfriend or whatever, but there's something about a guy being...well, a man willing to fight on my behalf that is very attractive. 

Does that make sense?  I don't know; I hope so.  It makes sense in my head.

What I'm trying to get to here is this question:  Do you think it's possible to be an independent woman yet still love having a man who is willing to be protective of you?  I'm feeling a little conflicted about it.  I appreciate any and all answers.  You don't have to censor anything with me, as long as what you're saying is in a nice tone. :)


  1. Absolutely! I have lived alone for the past 6 years and had to do it all alone...granted, what it did teach me was that I "AM" capable of a lot more than I gave myself credit for...I also learned to value good friends and NEIGHBORS...there isn't enough money in the world to make up for amazing neighbors. I have been blessed in that department.
    I do struggle with being "taken care of", as I like to do the "taking care" (B was fed well during my lay off). I used to feel that I needed to buy or do things to get people to like me...I know that sounds silly but that is what I used to was very inauthentic...
    I am now "going with the river" and letting guys that I meet steer the ship.
    No man is an island remember...even if it is a need people in your life to depend on and in turn, can depend on YOU. It should be mutual.
    Treasure all people that come in your life...they are gifts from God...

  2. Yes, I think it is very possible. I don't have time for a longer answer (yay college!:) but I think it is possible.

  3. Definitely. In fact, I think if you look at a lot of happy, successful relationships, they have an independent woman and a protective man. I think, especially today, it's expected that both partners can have successful careers, at least at first. That probably changes down the road when children come into play, but I still think that the basics of an independent woman and protective man hold true, and maybe even strengthen when there is a family to take care of. I don't think I'm the most independent girl in the world, but I do enjoy figuring some things out on my own, and doing my own thing sometimes. HOWEVER, I also like to feel safe and protected. Honestly I think THE most important thing is respect. You won't get anywhere without that. But yes, it's possible!!!