I've had a rather unexpected topic on my mind for a few days. I guess I'm calling it unexpected because I don't really even remember what brought it on. But I'm taking the fact that I can't get it out of my head as a sign that I just need to blog about it and get it off my chest.
Because I've grown up without a dad or a male figure in my life for so long, my mom has kind of instilled in me, whether intentionally or not, that I can be independent. I need to be an independent woman because relying on a man to "save" or "take care of" you will only leave you in a bad situation. And I think that for the most part, I am a very independent person, obviously aside from how much I've needed my mom from being sick so much.
But I'm still a girl. I will always be a hopeless romantic. I want that guy who is head over heels in love with me, and there's no shame in that.
The thing is, though, part of me dreams of having a man/husband who wants to protect me and take care of me. Does that go against all of the lessons on independence that my mother has instilled in me? Maybe. All I know is that in my mind, I dream of a man who isn't Matt that gives me the feeling of being protected that Matt always has. I am very secure in the fact that I don't need a boyfriend or whatever, but there's something about a guy being...well, a man willing to fight on my behalf that is very attractive.
Does that make sense? I don't know; I hope so. It makes sense in my head.
What I'm trying to get to here is this question: Do you think it's possible to be an independent woman yet still love having a man who is willing to be protective of you? I'm feeling a little conflicted about it. I appreciate any and all answers. You don't have to censor anything with me, as long as what you're saying is in a nice tone. :)