I am such a dork. Two hours with my best friend and all I can think is that I give myself way too much crap. I completely overreacted about the state of things with Matt. Per usual. Why exactly do I do that to myself? Because of course, he then shows up and reminds me that um, no, things are not going to change between us, no, he's not mad at me, and yes, he will always love me despite the fact that I'm a bit crazy sometimes.
We understand each other so well, it's a little scary sometimes. We can finish each other's sentences. And I've come to realize that our relationship isn't special because we never fight, our relationship is special because we don't let anything change what we have. We love each other like family, we fight like family, we laugh together like family.
I am so thankful to God for giving me him, I can't even begin to explain it. When my family is telling me what a bad person I am, he's there to tell me he thinks I'm amazing. When I'm upset, he's there to help me focus on being rational about it. When I need a good reality check, he's there to give it to me. He's the only person I can completely and openly talk to about my family life, because he's the only friend I have in this town and thus, he's the only one who truly knows what it's like. You can only explain something to an outsider so much, you know?
He knows things will be different after I go back to school. He's well aware of the fact that he's the only one I can trust here, that he's the only one who can understand my life because he's been there to live it with me. And he doesn't care. I am in awe of his love for me. He loves me without conditions, without expectations, without limits. He loves me right where I am. It gives me the slightest glimpse into how much God loves me, and it also makes me realize that God must be so sad all the times that I've taken it for granted.
Loving someone despite themselves is a hard thing to do. When it's human nature to judge, and be angry, and stay mad over miniscule things, the fact that I have a friend like this in the middle of nowhere, North Carolina, a friend who has seen me through 16 surgeries and countless other problems, makes me so unbelievably lucky.
God, thank you. Thank you, thank you, thank you. Thank you for Matt. Thank you for giving me a night with him. Thank you for giving me a night to be myself and just laugh.
Unconditional love is, without a doubt, the most beautiful thing in the world.