Monday, June 6, 2011

Seriously, satan, get a life.

I've been having a lot of nightmares lately.  Bad nightmares.  And I have no idea what they could mean.

In every one of them, I get attacked.  Sometimes emotionally, sometimes sexually, most of the time physically.  And then I wake up shaking and scared terrified.

The most frightening part of it all, though?  Occasionally, the attacker was someone I don't recognize, but most of the time, the attacker was Matt.

I just can't believe that this is happening this week.  This week, when I don't think we have ever been closer or in a better place. When I'm happy with how things are.  When I feel 100% secure with him and know that he loves me.

Satan has to be up to something.  That's literally the only reason that I can come up with that I'd start having nightmares about my best friend, the person I trust more than anyone on this planet, raping me.  It just doesn't make sense under any other explanation.

It's not like I actually believe there's a remote chance of those nightmares ever coming true.  Matt is possibly the least confrontational person I've ever met.  He's also one of the most chivalrous.  He wouldn't hurt a fly, he certainly would never sexually assault a woman, let alone me.  But of course, I remember these nightmares more than I usually remember a dream.  I can't get them out of my head.  As if dreaming it wasn't bad enough, they're still haunting me.

Dude, satan, go away. I've got enough going right now.  I really don't need this, too.

No comments:

Post a Comment