My friends are AMAZING.
So. I forgot that the mail doesn't run on Martin Luther King Jr. Day (boo!), so I ended up going to the post office today in hopes of getting the new medications for my head. Alas, they weren't there, though they should get there tomorrow. You know what was there, though?
A postcard! From my sweet friend, Vivielle, who at this point feels like someone I've met even though I only know her online. She's in Paris, and knowing how much I love the city, was thoughtful enough to send me a card while she's over there. It is beautiful, and I am definitely going to treasure it.
Also there? This.
I don't know what is about me and the universe sending me books lately, but here this was. Taylor sent it to me. He said he was cleaning his room and saw and figured he'd rather share it than have it sit on his shelf. I don't know what I'm gonna do with that boy and his sweet heart, but I definitely broke out in a huge grin when I opened this. He's the best. His thoughtfulness for others is just one of the countless reasons that I know I am so blessed to be able to call him one of my best friends.
I went to work at the Tutoring Center again tonight, and since once again, no one came in, I had some time to start reading it after I did my French homework. It's separated into four "books", and I made it through the first one. This passage hit me the hardest.
"This is the terrible fix we are in. If the universe is not governed by an absolute goodness, then all our efforts are in the long run hopeless. But if it is, then we are making ourselves enemies to that goodness every day, and are not in the least likely to do any better tomorrow, and so our case is hopeless again. We cannot do without it, and we cannot do with it. God is the only comfort, He is also the supreme terror: the thing we most need and the thing we most want to hide from. He is our only possible ally, and we have made ourselves His enemies. Some people talk as if meeting the gaze of absolute goodness would be fun. They need to think again. They are still only playing with religion. Goodness is either the great safety or the great danger - according to the way you react to it. And we have reacted the wrong way."
Yeah. Taylor warned me ahead of time that it was heavy, but this is just unbelievable. This is gonna be a good one. If the rest of the book is this convicting, I'm in for a good one. But also: since when did I become a reader?! Crazy things happen.
On to tomorrow. Keep your fingers crossed that the meds get here so that I can get this new plan started. I need relief. This whole feeling of barely being able to open my eyes in the morning is really old.