Sunday, January 13, 2013

Surrendering All

Ah, Theater Church.  I knew it was going to be good to get back, but I didn't know it was going to turn out like this.

The sermon was powerful, as always.  Sean knows how to preach the Word, that is for sure.  One verse in particular really jumped out at me - Hebrews 12:14.  "Make every effort to live in peace with all men and to be holy; without holiness, no one will see the Lord."  And immediately, I thought of my family.  I thought of how there is no one in this world more difficult for me to live in peace with, especially so when I'm at that house, but what Sean said made me realize that there may also be no one in this world living in peace with whom is more important.  I quite honestly can't think of anyone I know that is more lost and broken than they are, and every time I let my human emotions and my temper get in the way, I lose out on the chance to show them Jesus.  They need to look at me and look at the way that I live and act and see that it is the influence of Christ's overwhelming love that makes me who I am.  I know this is supposed to be the year about releasing myself from burdens and expectations and whatnot, but something has to be different.

What was even more eye-opening was what happened before and after the service.  Before getting into worship, Sean let the cat out of the bag and told the (packed!) room that we will be moving to two services in a few weeks.  (Total God moment:  Sean said that beforehand, he had told God that if He showed up and the room was full, he would step out in faith and make the announcement.  That's what happens when you test God.)  They're also revamping the Small Groups, the preschool ministry, and the worship team.  With two services, they can't have the same set of four guys doing it all simply for wanting them to avoid burning out, so Sean said that after the service, there would be a meeting for anyone interested in joining.

For a couple of months now, I've wanted to get involved, to give back to the church and the Lord that have already given me so much, but I wasn't quite sure how.  Me and a bunch of small children probably is not the best idea.  I had thought before that I'd love to get involved with the music, but the guys seemed to have such a set thing going,  who was I to interrupt?  Well, once all this came out today, I jumped at the chance.

So yeah.  Guess who's joining a worship team.  This girl.  I'm super excited but also a bit nervous, mostly because I haven't performed in any aspect in front of anyone in years, since high school.  I haven't sang in public since I was about 13, when I was a part of the "Teen Worship Band" at my hometown church.  So needless to say, this is a very big step for me.  It's honestly rather mind-blowing.  Only God could take me from a girl who was barely willing to step foot in a church, through a baptism, to going back to church, to now a girl who's going to volunteer to serve at church in the span of less than a year.  And more than that, once I left church, I was so excited about what had just happened that I started texting people to tell them! I  was thinking of The Vespers throughout the meeting because I knew they'd be proud.

This song was one the band did this morning, and it's fitting.  This is just another step in the journey.  God, I surrender my fears, my stage fright, everything that could hold me back.  I'm doing this all for You.

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