The Sanctuary livestream was up last night, and oh, I can't even begin to explain how it felt to feel like I was back with that precious community again. To be able to sing along with hundreds of college kids 550 miles away who are connected to me through the same living God and feel like I was right there in Woodmont Hills Church with them was exactly what I needed last night after a fast but exhausting and painful week. I never understood until the past year or so what it meant when my friends and people I respect tried to get me to realize the importance of community...Sanctuary was the first place and experience to ever help me understand.
I haven't thought about the night I got baptized as much recently as I used to, which I suppose is only natural as time goes on, but last night, sitting here at my computer, every memory came flooding back to me like new. It made me remember how I promised Brennan that night that I would never forget how I felt there in that church, and last night, I realized that no matter how much time passes or how increasingly rare my thoughts go back to that night, the feelings and emotions that hit me on April 5th will never be forgotten.
Really, though, how could they? That was the night my entire life started over. That was the night when I felt God in me and all around me in a completely new way. That was the night when I let God break down every wall of fear I'd been fighting to keep up, scared to let myself trust Him again. That was the night when the best possible thing this side of heaven happened to me. How could I forget that?
Music has always been very important and spoken very strongly to me, that's no secret. It doesn't even have to be worship music to really hit my heart . So I don't know what it is that is so special about hearing the Sanctuary band, getting goosebumps listening to sweet Kyla's voice (along with the rest of the band, I just like her in particular :) haha), but that's the only word to describe it all. It's just special.
Sanctuary, that whole crew there, the band, they are always going to have a very special place in my heart because without even realizing it, God used them to light a spark that set in motion the craziest few months of my life. The intensity I felt both the night I got baptized and last night is a feeling that I've yet to find anywhere else, and part of me doubts I ever will because of the part Sanctuary played in my pursuit of God.
I am and forever will be grateful for Sanctuary and the band that leads worship wholeheartedly each week. They are proof that God will use willing hearts to change lives for Him. I continue to pray that God will give me a way back to Nashville so I can attend Sanctuary again and worship with that community in person. Lord, let it be.
Oh, and the icing on the cake was hearing the Sanctuary spin on a song I heard for the first time at church. I've loved this song since I heard it at church, and it's been in my head since last night. Enjoy. :)