This morning, I woke up with a smile on my face, despite this persistent migraine.
And really, throughout the day, it was pretty easy to stay positive. I'm enjoying the material I'm covering in my classes. I realized I don't have a huge to-do list this weekend like I did last weekend. I made it through the afternoon feeling energetic, which was a great surprise because I got less than 5 hours of sleep last night on top of this headache.
By about 5:00, though, it got to the point where I was feeling nauseous, and I started feeling worn down, so I slept, which is about the only reliable escape I have from this pain.
When I woke up at 8:00, I still wasn't feeling good, but I knew I had to get up if I wanted any chance of sleeping tonight. I grabbed my phone to text some friends I couldn't make it to our plans tonight, and then I found this on Twitter.
So I'm trying to stay focused on what I wrote this morning. God blessed me today, with peace, with joy, with motivation, with friends to encourage me when my energy was waning. So I'm focusing on that instead of the pain. Because as "ordinary" as a migraine may be, it's a real issue for me, and it's the only way I can keep going.
I have to live out the words I write on this page. Not for y'all, not for me, but for God. I want my life to be a true testament to His grace, and these words lose their meaning if I don't feel what I say in my heart. Just like I said, when things get hard, that's when you find out what trusting God will do. And I know that even if God doesn't heal me of this chronic pain, He will give me the strength to keep living my life despite it. As long as I keep looking for the blessings in the small things, like a simple message on Twitter, I'll find the ways He sends reminders of His grace. I'm learning how to trust Him with every detail of my life, even the smaller stuff like persistent headaches and stress over grades.
If you're feeling worn down as you read this, I pray that you are able to find God's presence in the details around you and that He gives you the peace and strength to get through whatever it is. No matter how small you may think it is, if something is weighing on you, give it to Him. He's there waiting to take the load off of your hands.
1 Peter 5:6-7 Humble yourselves, therefore, under God's mighty hand, that He may lift you up in due time. Cast all your anxiety on Him because He cares for you.
That piece says a lot to me. I have to humble myself before God in trusting that He WILL heal me from these headaches. Knowing He can isn't enough, I have to stand firm in believing that He will.
I want to encourage you to let go of whatever it is that's heavy on your heart or mind today and give it to God. Because He cares for you.
And I'm going to do my best to live out these words, as well. I don't mean to sound like I'm preaching; this is just as much for me as it is for anyone else.