Tuesday, November 5, 2013

Perspective Change

Side note:  I didn't go into November planning on doing a "30 Days of Thankfulness" thing...it just sort of happened.  So I'm going with it.  Why not?

The title tells you what I'm thankful for: a change in perspective.  I'm thankful for how drastically my mood has changed since just yesterday.  And that's despite the fact that today was much harder.  I blacked out totally unexpectedly on the way to the dining hall, falling face first on a pathway of bricks, breaking my glasses in two (thank the Lord my mom had the genius idea of getting me a second pair way back in 2009 before I started college), bruising several bones in my body, and leaving me with all-over body aches.  You'd think I'd be even more upset than I was yesterday, right?

Nope.  Dead wrong.  I'm sitting here doped up on Percocet grinning like a fool because God has shown up big time today.

The friends who texted me.

Holly offering to drop everything and drive an hour down here to take care of me.

Austin stopping by in a crazy day just to give me a HUG.  Because he knew it would make me smile.

A very close friend emailing me to ask for tips/thoughts/suggestions on how to keep her testimony focused on what God has done and is doing and not what has happened in her past...in the middle of a time when I feel like my faith has been struggling more than ever.  It made me laugh in the "Oh this is so God" kind of way.

Shaila originally coming by just to bring me notes and instead sitting and talking to me (well, mostly listening, just being honest) for an hour and a half, until we both decided we were too tired to keep going.  I was planning on writing this post and going to bed ages ago, like at 9 pm, but then that happened.  And I'm not sorry at all.  I will always pick people over sleep.  Always.

I think my conversation with Jayshawn had a lot to do with this.  With his words, he got my focus back on where my identity really is, something I knew all along and just lost track of.  And because I was focused on that today, an even worse situation than usual didn't seem quite so scary.

Right now, I feel like I understand the joy that people see in me.  Because despite how crappy today's circumstances were, I can't stop smiling because God showed up big time and poured His love on me and it's really hard to be sad when I'm so focused on that.

And now I'm going to bed because it's been a crazy long day and, well, Percocet.  I'm praying this continues into tomorrow because I need to spend time with my Reformation brothers (I haven't made it through a full class in WEEKS) and I need to go to small group (I haven't seen any church people in weeks, either, except for when Justin and Jenn came to visit after Homecoming).  Knowing I have stuff like that waiting in my day makes the whole "grit your teeth and bear through the pain" thing seem like a much easier task to handle.

God is good.  He is alive, and He is working.  And there aren't words for how grateful I am that my eyes are back on Him, the only place that they belong.  So today I'm thankful for the fact that just 24 hours can change an awful lot about my mental state and my emotional stability.

(Fair warning: Tomorrow's post may say I'm thankful for Percocet.  It's gonna be a rough few days.  The first few days after the day of a fall are always the worst for me.  Just saying, haha!)

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