Thursday, March 10, 2011

Tonight, I'm struggling.

Struggling.

To be happy.

To not be angry.

To feel wanted.

To feel appreciated.

And the weird thing is?

I'm not even completely sure why.

I think it has to do with the fact that every day I spend in this house is another day wasted with me being either completely ignored or yelled at when all I'm trying to do is be a good spot in my mom's day when she and Chelsea are at each other's throats.

I feel like I don't belong here anymore.  Don't get me wrong; I love my family more than anyone in the world, even when they drive me absolutely crazy.  I just feel...out of place.  Like there's nothing for us to talk about.  My mom and I haven't had a remotely important conversation in ages.  It's like I'm a visitor in my own home.

I love my family.

I just don't like them very much right now.

I don't like how they make me feel.

How being home makes me feel.

I feel very alone right now...

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