Thursday, March 10, 2011

Tonight, I'm struggling.


To be happy.

To not be angry.

To feel wanted.

To feel appreciated.

And the weird thing is?

I'm not even completely sure why.

I think it has to do with the fact that every day I spend in this house is another day wasted with me being either completely ignored or yelled at when all I'm trying to do is be a good spot in my mom's day when she and Chelsea are at each other's throats.

I feel like I don't belong here anymore.  Don't get me wrong; I love my family more than anyone in the world, even when they drive me absolutely crazy.  I just feel...out of place.  Like there's nothing for us to talk about.  My mom and I haven't had a remotely important conversation in ages.  It's like I'm a visitor in my own home.

I love my family.

I just don't like them very much right now.

I don't like how they make me feel.

How being home makes me feel.

I feel very alone right now...

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