Naming Names

For years when I was little, I was absolutely obsessed with baby names. (I still am, but not quite to the same almost-creepy extent.) I was the girl who would sit around dreaming up names of all my future children. If I was bored, I could entertain myself by finding an empty notebook and creating lists upon lists of fictitious family trees, just so I could think about what names I thought sounded good together.
So I think it's safe to say that names have always been very fascinating to me. Something that has become of greater importance I get older, though, is the meaning behind the names. I started, naturally, with the meaning of my own name.

Mallory: of French origin (which I knew that mal means 'bad' in both Spanish and French, so this makes sense), meaning: ill-omened (from babynames.com)

Ann: of Hebrew origin, meaning: full of grace (something I learned from Ann Voskamp)

Put those two together, and essentially my names is Ill-omened, full of grace.

It kind of seems like an oxymoron, doesn't it? Ill-omened = bad. Full of grace = good.

But more than that, what that combination means for my life is astounding.

Taking a look at an outline of my life, and it could easily seem like I have a bad omen who has taken residence over my head. My dad dying. The endless health problems. Numerous surgeries. The lack of contact with my dad's family. My mom and her brother fighting because my cousin and I couldn't get along. Chelsea issues. Yeah, I think it's safe to say I've had more than my fair share of issues to deal with.

But then...bring the second half of my name into the picture. Full of grace. I may have problems to deal with, but my goal is to be forever full of grace. When satan wants me to focus on my problems, when the world expects me to be and tries to make me depressed, when my health problems are raging full-force, I want to face everything and everyone with boundless grace. It makes the fighter in me want to prove the world wrong and show them all that I am bigger than the surgeries. I am worth more than the family drama. I am stronger than depression.

Of course, I screw up. Repeatedly. Sometimes I act more ill-omened than full of grace. I'm a work in progress, and I will be until the day that I die. The important part, though?

I am a child of The King, and that King is far bigger than any title a name can give me.