Thursday, October 3, 2013

He is good.

There were highs and lows about today.

Definite high: no seizures. no even feeling like it.  I never thought I'd be back to the point where a seizure-free day was reason to be excited, but you know, whatever.  Can't take anything for granted.

Plus, I made it through all of my classes.  I may or may not have dozed off a couple times in the first one, but that happens on an average day, ha!  And I didn't let this guy in my second class who likes to attack my intelligence instead of my argument upset me like he normally does.  I'm all caught up in my third class.  And work was guess, for once.  The first guy I tutored was this freshman who was so polite he called me ma'am the entire session, which simultaneously was super adorable and made me want to go "I'm 21!  Stop that!"  Haha.  And the second guy was this guy from Saudi Arabia who, even though it took me like 5 minutes to figure out one of the problems he had, liked me so much he asked me if there were evaluations for tutors because "he would like to fill one out right now and give me an A."  Which, we don't, but it was a nice boost of confidence when I felt like my brain was sort of failing me.

My emotions were all over the place most of the day, though, mostly because my body has .been in so much pain.  I must have bruised my hip bone when I fell because walking feels like torture.  I suffered through it most of the day, but there were a couple times where I just had to call Campus Safety because I couldn't take it anymore and needed a break.  And my shoulders are really against the idea of moving at all.  I understand why my left one hurts, but the right one being in bad shape is just beyond me.  And knowing how my body works after a fall or accident or anything like that, tomorrow is going to be even worse than today, so yay for that.  Plus, I got my test back in one class, and I got an 89.7 and the teacher still wrote B+ even though she told me it would "probably" get moved up.  Put this nerd's nerves all in a fluster for nothing! :p  And I didn't get to have my weekly dinner date with Summer for reasons beyond our control, and I won't next week either because we'll be on Fall Break (holy cow, it's the middle of the semester), which makes me sad because I love that girl and I love having the chance for solid girl talk and just being able to vent, which I don't get a lot of lately.  And I have this sore and scratchy throat for some reason - I seriously hope I'm not getting sick!

There were certainly more highs than lows about today, so I definitely want to end on a good note.  I thought up a second surprise to do for my Reformation classmates and Dr. Jonas on the last day of class, as sort of a thank you for being so incredible and welcoming. I got to spend more than an hour on the phone with Mom, which I'm not sure has ever happened in my life, and it honestly felt like I was talking to a girlfriend with what we were gushing about and how much we laughed.  The woman may drive me absolutely nuts sometimes, but I love her more than just about anyone.  My sweet friend Peter who picked me up from the hospital yesterday texted me tonight while I was in a work a picture of a passage from his devotional just to encourage me and remind me that God is working and He is using me in this; that literally brought tears to my eyes right there in the middle of the tutoring room.  It's Thursday, which means I got to spend an hour in worship with the first church that ever felt like home and sing along with the incredible Sanctuary Band.  It was a truly powerful night; after how rough the past week has been, I was shaking by the end of the night just because it felt like God had given the band every song in their set list for the night just for me.  Every song spoke to me in one way or another.  Only six more weeks until I get to worship with them in person, no Internet required and no buffering getting in my way! :)

And lastly, I got a huge honor today that definitely made me smile.  I was featured on Campbell's Tumblr for doing the @jonasrefcu Twitter account for Dr. Jonas's class.  That would make me smile enough as it is, but they went above and beyond that and included some excerpts from this blog with things I've written not only about the class, but also about how blessed I feel to be a part of the Campbell family.  The coolest part is that while their Tumblr page allows for student submissions, I didn't approach them about this - they just asked me via Twitter if they could do it, take pieces from my blog, and credit and link back to me.  I love my school and how much they care about their students!  :)  You can check out the piece here.

So basically, there were some rough parts to today, and I definitely still don't feel 100%, but the day was also filled with reminders about just how good God is.  I don't know much, but I know that all this craziness is going to work out for His glory and my good, and that I am right where I need to be.  Today was exactly the reassurance I needed.

I have this one particular song lyric from a song that Sanctuary did tonight, a song I haven't heard since that night of worship I went to at church back in April.  My life may be a bit of a mess right now, but I'm going to keep telling everyone that I can about how good my God is, and trust that He'll give me the faith to mean it with every fiber of my being.

Give me faith to trust what You say, that You're good and Your love is great.


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