Suck it up.

I've always hated that phrase.  I really have.  It's so cold and uncaring, and when you say it to someone (or someone says it to you), it feels like the person who it is said to doesn't matter to the other person.  And I don't know if you've figured it out yet, but I'm a very emotional, caring person. ;)

Because I hate that phrase so much, I try to avoid saying it to anyone, even myself.  But right now, it's what I've got to do.

I took last week off from exercising because how much pain I've been in.  It's been painful just to walk, there was no way I could be comfortable riding a bike.  I still kept up with trying to be healthy, though, so I knew the weigh-in results wouldn't be great, but I didn't think they'd be horrible.

That was before I factored in the hormone drug that my doctor put me on.  One of the top side effects is weight gain.

I gained seven pounds.  That's almost everything I had lost in the two weeks before.  I was so frustrated (and hormonal, go figure) that I started crying. 

I can't have another week like that.  I know the Provera had a lot to do with it, as well as the fact that Mom's broke and can't go buy really healthy food until she gets paid on the 29th, but I have to do things that I can control.

Hence the "suck it up."  I've got to suck up the magnified pain in my neck/shoulder/upper back that comes when I ride the bike and just ride anyway.  I've wasted too much time. 

I've done 45 minutes today.  I've got 15 to go...