Friday, July 22, 2011

I never thought I'd see the day.

Whoa baby. 

20/20 has put me in shock tonight.  They're following schizophrenic children.  And it's rendered me absolutely speechless.  All I can even think right now is "I never thought I'd feel grateful to have a sister with Chelsea's issues."

Well there's a smack in the face if I've ever seen one.  Thanks, God.  One day after I had a major fight with Chelsea, this 20/20 comes on.  Please, you can't possibly tell me that's a coincidence.

I was going to write a blog post about how I feel watching this show.  I really was.  But I seriously can't even find the words. 

Because for all of her impulsivity and her lack of ability to pay attention, she's never created her own imaginary world to live in.

For all the times Chelsea's threatened to kill me and Mom, and told us she wishes we were dead, she's never actually tried to kill us.

For all the screaming matches, all the fights, all the drama, Chelsea's never hallucinated and said an imaginary person/creature was telling her to hurt us.

For all the times Chelsea's said she wished she lived somewhere else, she's never told us she didn't want to come home because she didn't know how badly she'd hurt us.

God, tonight, I thank you for the reality check.  I really needed it.

1 comment:

  1. She's the one who is getting married, right?
    And is a mother?
    Has she seen a doctor or therapist?