I should've seen THAT coming.

When I thought I'd finally truly accepted how things are with me and Matt...

when our relationship seemed stronger than ever...

when I thought that maybe, just maybe, I was finally starting to get over him...

I find out that he's back with Simone.

Head?  Meet desk.

Sigh.

He'll never learn.

I think the root reason of why this is messing with me so much is because I worry about him so much. 

I am so protective of those I care about, and I worry about him the most because I care about him more than anyone in the world. 

It kills me to see him get hurt, especially when I know he's so excited to be back together with a girl who always ends up treating him like crap.

I want to be excited for him.  And part of me is. 

But part of me also feels like I got kicked in the stomach repeatedly.

I don't even know what to think anymore.

If he really does marry her, then super for him.  Because I mean what I've said all along:

His happiness means more to me than anything.

Yet somehow?  Knowing and believing that isn't keeping me from feeling nauseous.