Thursday, February 10, 2011

Thank you ... I think?

Something really bizarre happened last night soon after I blogged.  I told y'all how scared I was about becoming friends with Tyler and all that; well, after this conversation last night, I honestly don't know if that's a concern anymore.

I IM'ed him on Facebook and said that I hoped I didn't screw things up because of something I'd said to him yesterday afternoon.  He said I was fine, but that he had to tell me something.  I just said okay.  He then said that if I want to be his friend, there's a 100% chance he will hurt me, because he hurts everyone.  I can't expect him to perfect (which I've never thougth, obviously), or even good, because he's not good.  He doesn't make friends, he makes acquaintances because when people are just acquaintances, no one gets hurt.  I have no idea what I'm getting myself into.  We're not close, and for my sake, we need to keep it that way.  I told him that he didn't have to worry about me, that I just think he's a nice guy (which I do), and he said, "Ha, you think that now." 

A day later, and I'm still kinda scratching my head at what happened.  I've never had someone warn me that they're "no good" and that they'll hurt me if I don't stay away from them.  (I usually don't know someone's gonna hurt me till after the fact, haha.)   Like what was I supposed to say?  I couldn't even find the words, so the best I could come up with was "Thank you for the warning, I guess."  This is especially bizarre coming from Tyler because I've never seen him be anything but funny and friendly.  And yet he was making himself sound like he was the spawn of the devil.  I can't decide if I really should be scared of him, or if there's something going inside his head that makes him be the only one to have this view of himself.  Because, I mean, how can he really be this bad but have so many people like him?  Nothing about this makes sense.

I told him that I wasn't expecting anything out of him.  I'm really only asking for one thing, and that's not to be lied to.  (And he already proved that he's got honesty down pat by telling me all this.)  I suggested that we just stick to these French study sessions for now.  No harm, no foul, right?  Or something like that.

I don't know what's going to happen tomorrow when I see him in class.  I'm going to try to be as normal as I possibly can, but it's going to be...different.  Because I don't know what person I'm really dealing with anymore...

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