Saturday, July 18, 2009

Maybe I'm a bad sister.

That's what I feel sometimes.

Because I don't trust my sisters.
Because I don't believe my sisters.
Because I hate who my sisters are.
Because I don't have the patience to be kind to my sisters.
Because I think my sisters are lazy.
Because I don't buy into either of their "pity me" parties, one of which my mom frequently joins in on.
Because I think my sisters need to grow up.
Because I think my mother plays favorites with one sister.
Because I get so mad at them, I forget to be the light of Christ they need, whether or not they realize it.

I just need to get away...from all of them. This isn't good for me. And I'm tired of feeling so horribly about myself. I need change. 4 weeks.


On a side note, I did walk away from Matt. Since he wouldn't answer my phone calls, I sent him a message on Myspace that said I couldn't take how he was treating me anymore and that I was basically just done. Yes, I am heartbroken, but strangely enough, I feel really good about my decision.

1 comment:

  1. It's definitely time for a new start for you. Getting away will give you perspective to see if you're viewing your sisters accurately - it's just SO hard to be objective when you're living in the middle of it. Even now, at age 45, I am better able to understand my family from Ohio than when I'm visiting them in NC... You know - it's ok to not like them. As the old saying goes, you didn't get to pick them!

    Sorry about Matt, but frankly you deserve better treatment & it's right to expect & ask for it. If he can't provide it, it's time to move on!