I thought I was okay with this.

And I'm not.

I thought I could take my mom wanting to protect Chelsea all the time, but I can't.

She's back, and I just can't take my feelings not mattering anymore.

She thinks she's the least cared about in the family or whatever, but in reality my mom will do anything to help her no matter how badly it hurts me.

I'm angry, and I'm hurt, and I'm literally sitting here sobbing right now.

This isn't fair. My feelings DO MATTER. And just because I'm not her crazy child doesn't mean I don't still need protecting.

I feel like throwing up right now. And I don't know how to have the strength to get over this. I'm tired of feeling so unimportant. But then I feel bad because I know this isn't easy for my mom.

God, please help me. I need You.

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UPDATE 6:45 pm

Okay, so I think I just used up my one allotted big emotional breakdown. ;-)

My mom's friend was who brought Chelsea home, and she stayed for a long time talking to all of us. Wow.

I'm not too excited right now, but Chelsea has made some improvements today, and I really want to believe that things will be different. I'm really, really trying to believe that we can make it these next 19 days.

Thanks to all. Now focus on praying for Stellan.

Oh, and stay tuned. Mandy at Blogs by Mandy is giving me a blog makeover. Finally, my blog is going to be like all the other real ones and look pretty! Visit her personal blog while you're at it. :)