Today, it really hit me. My new determination to become closer to Christ this year truly has impacted every aspect of my life.
Last night I received this text from a friend who had listened to me vent about my roommates and their friends completely shunning me. I texted him saying that I realized he was right, these are not the kind of people I need to spend time with, and I'm not going to try to fit in with them anymore. He wrote this back.
"That's a good attitude. Don't forget that just because you don't need them, that doesn't mean they don't need you. Be an example of Christ's love and patience."
I went to bed and woke up still thinking about that text. The thing is, I don't need them. I am fine the way I am. I am loved by so many people who have actually taken the time to know my heart. God made me this way for a reason. Even more than that, though, I am a Christian for a reason. It's not about my own salvation. It's about God using me to showcase His glory. He might have put me in this apartment with these people to be that person for them. They might need me.
And for the first time in my life, I feel like I'm honestly praying for that to happen. I'm praying that I can be filled with the intense love and patience that can only be described as Christ-like. I'm praying that I can let that completely consume and overtake me, so I don't let my very human emotions and my instinct to be mean back to them win out. I'm praying that I can show them love and kindness no matter what. Before this point, I don't think I've ever been able to do that for people who treated me badly; my only goal was to just put up with them and ignore them as much as possible. But this time, I want to show them Jesus. I want to show them what He can do.
He really is making me better. It's what He does.