I'm currently sitting in a hospital in Wilmington recovering from an emergency 19th surgery earlier tonight (or last night, by the time you see this).
Nope. I'm not kidding.
That infection in my foot was really, really bad. Mom's original plan when she picked me up at Campbell Friday night was to take me home for the weekend so I could go see Dr. P (my foot doc/surgeon) on Monday. She took one look at my foot and said "That's not waiting till Monday." So she got on the phone and ended up talking to Dr. P's partner who told her to drive straight here to this hospital in Wilmington. So she did.
We got here about 9:00 and spent hours waiting before finally getting put in an actual room in the ER. Mom had to leave about midnight because a) she didn't have her heart meds and b) we had Blake with us (she picked him up after work) and he was sick and had no more bottles and my mom's friend's daughter was sitting in the ER lobby with him all night because Mom couldn't bring him back with her to be with me.
I didn't get in a room till 4:30 this morning, and didn't get a chance to sleep till about 6:00 because people wouldn't stop bugging me with questions. And to make things even better, one of these incompetent doctors decided to order that I could only have Ibuprofen all night long. Dr. P was livid when he found that out when he got to the hospital to do my surgery.
Because Mom was so "tired" and concerned with Chelsea, Blake, and my sick grandma who probably shouldn't be at the house with them right now but she is because Chelsea's still not allowed to be alone with Blake, she left me here by myself all day long. And she didn't even get back here in time to be with me before they took me into surgery. That was comforting.
Anyway, Dr. P went into my right foot and washed (and washed and washed and washed) everything out and found a fairly large puss pocket down in my foot. He moved it, and it was literally sitting right on top of the metal plate and screws in my foot. So he had to take all the hardware out. The good news is that he pushed on the bones and even though it's only been two months, everything seems to be fused together nicely.
Here's what's really got me so pissed: school. First, my mom and her school. She doesn't even want to ask to at least have Monday off so she can be here with me while they're putting a PICC line and to make all the calls to Campbell to figure out what we're going to do about that. This is the first time she's picking her job over me, and frankly, it really sucks and really breaks my heart. But I might be able to beg her just to have that one day off. We'll see.
Secondly, obviously, my school. I'm dangerously close to missing enough classes to fail all of my classes right now, and even though I'm sure that Mom can make some calls to keep that from happening, my stupid Western Civ teacher does not want to change his mind about his policy to take points off my grade even in excused absences. Plus, I have to have six weeks of antibiotics, and while they can do that through a PICC line and home health nurses while I'm at school, I have no idea how we're going to work out those logistics since Buies Creek is in the middle of freaking nowhere and it's not like I have a car or a license to drive somewhere. Plus going back to school with a tube stuck in my arm is not my idea of fun.
I'm tired of being the freak.
I'm tired of things going wrong in my life.
ALL I WANT TO DO IS GO TO COLLEGE. That is not too much to ask!
I know everyone has problems, but I don't know a single person who has as many problems as I do.
I'm just pissed. I need a break and it feels like I'm being punished for something because somehow God thinks it's in my best interest to have medical problem after medical problem after medical problem.
WHY CAN'T I BE OKAY FOR ONCE? WHY DO THINGS HAVE TO KEEP GOING WRONG?!?!
We're all faced with challenges and difficult seasons in life, it may seem as though some are spared more than others, but that's not up to us to measure. I agree, it seems like an intense and extreme amount of hardships for you as of late, and yet God can still be glorified, this will become a powerful testimony of what He can sustain you through.
ReplyDeleteYou know that I haven't faced medical hardships to the degree that you have, but I'm no stranger to the at times cruel harshness of life, and I pray to see the day when your victories become a crown of Glory for the Lord.
I'm praying as Campbell makes the decisions about your schooling, praying for peace and strength for you as you face Monday as a young adult without your mother at your side -- you're strong enough to speak up for your needs and get through this alone, Mal -- He is with you, you're not alone in the ways that truly count. You're strong and capable -- He lends us His strength.
Your mother will be proud of the adult you're becoming as you assertively and maturely speak up and be your own advocate and get through the difficulties even when she's unable to be there for you. She loves you and wants to provide for you, and sometimes that means going to work in an effort to keep her job and the health care benefits that support you -- please know that her decision is rooted in love for you.
You are loved....
I looked back through my posts to see if there was anything that might help, and there was one that jumped out at me a bit. Here's the link:
ReplyDeletehttp://www.beyondmeasure.me/2010/07/life-flight.html
Praying for you, Mal -- I hope you're already beginning to feel better. Any updates/news about Campbell?
Take authority over your life. Tell Satan your life belongs to God and he can't have our health. No, this won't make all your problems go away, but it's a good place to start.
ReplyDeleteAnd when things go wrong after that- you call God faithful and thank Him that He works all things together for good on our behalf because you love him and you trust in Him!!!
Praying for you Mal. I know this all sucks. Urgh.
Everytime I meant to type "your", I typed "our". My "y" must have been stuck!
ReplyDelete