Tuesday, August 27, 2013

I'm not sure if I'm going to sleep tonight.

I got a text just as my last class of the day was letting out.

Ryann leaves for Switzerland at 7:30 am PST tomorrow.


She has a signed and paid deal with a professional team there.

A professional team.

I know I keep repeating stuff, but it's like I'm trying to get it to sink in.

I'm so unbelievably proud of her.  Like, honestly.  There aren't words for this.  Watching the girl who has spent every second of the last two years faithfully by your side have the biggest dream of her life come true couldn't possibly make me anything but proud.  And thrilled for her.  I, of all people, know how hard she's worked for this, how badly she's wanted this, everything that it's taken of her to get here.  We have pushed each other and believed in each other when we didn't even believe in ourselves.

Honestly, though, as much as I don't want to be, I'm also sad.  Sad that this day is really here.  Sad that my best girl friend is moving to Europe and I don't have the slightest clue when I'll ever see her again.  Sad that the end of my college years, the best years of my life (so far) are coming to an end and we're moving on to the next stage of our lives, thousands of miles apart.  Sad that things are never going to be the same ever again.

So yeah, I don't know if I am going to sleep tonight.  Not because I'm crying or anything, but because I'm waiting for her to call me so I can at least talk to her one last time.  Gosh, I feel dramatic, I'm talking like she's dying, and she's not, but it's so weird knowing that this is the end of an era of sorts.

But in the end, my feelings aren't really all that important.  What is important is that this school introduced me to a girl that I never would have expected to give me the time of day, let alone love me and forgive me and stand by me the way that Ryann has.  What matters is that I have a friend who has changed my life, who has changed the very core of who I am as a person.  What matters is that I have learned more from this amazing girl in two and a half years than I could ever list in a blog post.  What matters is that I know our friendship, even though things are going to change, will always be something that I can rely on - that it is the kind of friendship where any time we get the chance to talk, it will be like no time has ever passed and we're hanging out in the same room.  What matters is what I said to her in the goodbye letter I wrote when we left Campbell at the end of April: I don't care where we're living or how far apart we are, when she needs me, I will be there in any way I can be.  Oceans be damned.

And the cool part about this?  I'm pretty sure she feels the same way.

No distance can truly separate sisters. 

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1 comment:

  1. Sadly that's what happens after college. But friendships are like flowers. Some have deep roots that never waiver. I was blessed to have all of my best friends live no more than 8 streets away from me for about 2 years. Now, they are in nj, va, and ma. But they will always be my family and we often talk about those years together. Now that we are all moms, it has brought us closer than ever. Clearly our relationship have changed and ebbed and flowed which it needs to do but at some point it comes back around!