Ugh, not NOW.

All day today, I've had a terrible stomachache.
I'll just let you imagine what that entails, but let's just say it's not good.
What makes it worse is that it's THREE days before my surgery!
If I'm sick on Thursday, they'll move it to next Friday.
That really can't happen because it won't give me enough time to get off the narcotics before moving back to school.
Plus I think I'm PMSing or something, and have been arguing with Mom on and off all day and night, so I'm just in a fantastic mood.
Here's to hoping I'll feel better when I wake up in the morning.

MIRACLE on a Monday

So...
You all know about how my mom wasn't getting paid this summer because she missed so much work being out with me last fall.
And how my grandmother has had to pay our bills...
Well, we got the most amazing surprise today.
Like, I don't remember ever having such a blatant gift from God.

Mom got a call today from a lady at our church. She asked my mom if she had ever received a check last November, because they sent us one from the Pastor's Discretionary Fund to help with my medical bills, and it never cleared the bank. Mom said she didn't remember ever getting one, and asked how much it was for.

Here's the super awesome part.  That check?  It was worth

FIFTEEN HUNDRED DOLLARS.

No joke.

That will cover the bills for next month, before my mom gets a paycheck on August 31st.  Which is a huge relief to my grandmother because she's worried about her own money situation.

God is so amazing.
so.
unbelievably.
AMAZING.

And you know, it was definitely not a mistake on anyone's part that we didn't get that check in November.  Not a mistake at all....

Not Much to Say

Nothing's really changed.
I went with my grandma to lunch today and she bought me a new pair of really nice tennis shoes because the ones I had were formed to my messed up feet. And now I have a fixed left foot! :D
Other than that, I've just played with Blake and watched a lot of TV with Mom. It's been good.
Now, it's just about bedtime, I think.
And I'm wheezing, which is weird and came out of nowhere.
Oh well.
Good night.

Reader's Digest Version

I know most of my blog posts lately seem like the Reader's Digest Version of life, but today especially, you'll just have to forgive me.
Basically, it went from bad to very, very bad very, very quickly.
Pray for Chelsea to FINALLY get help.
Pray for Blake's safety.
Pray for my mom's sanity and strength.
Pray for my strength.
I am so emotionally spent, it's unreal. This is all I've got in me tonight.

Peaceful

Today was rather peaceful.
Mom and I pretty much just hung out in her bed all day talking and sleeping.
The only frustrating thing is that she might not go to Boone tomorrow because she's afraid of all the chaos that will happen while she's 6 hours away and can't do anything about it.
But we'll see.

One Month

One more month of summer. One more month that I am stuck in the middle of this incessant drama with no way out and nothing I can do to help.

Chelsea left. Again.

Amazingly enough, Mom put her foot down yesterday and said basically that if she couldn't stop being a complete b*tch to the two of us for no reason whatsoever, then she could leave. And that if she left, she wasn't coming back. Well, Chelsea left with Betty Jo, the girl she was living with before.

But, of course, you and I both know that doesn't mean the drama is over. Oooohhhhh no.

Tonight, Chelsea got Betty Jo to take her to the hospital in Jacksonville (where they live) claiming she had appendicitis. So Betty Jo dropped her and Blake off there, despite the fact that she knows babies & ERs are dangerous.

Well later, Chelsea called her friend Katie, who lives up the street from us here in Swansboro, asking her to come get the baby. Katie drives all the way there, a good 30 minute drive, and Chelsea just says "Let's go! I'm never going to be seen. Take me back to Betty Jo's."

She doesn't have appendicitis. Anyone with a little common sense would know that if she did, she'd be a heck of a lot sicker a heck of a long time before now. She just thrives on drama, creating it and living in it. No matter how many people it hurts in the process. Sometimes I wonder if she has the ability to even feel real human emotions, because most of the time she doesn't act like it. I'm just done. I am so done. I can't take it anymore.

All I can say is thank God Matt talked me down from the fuming point I was at last night. I don't remember the last time I was that angry. She brings out a side of me I absolutely hate, one that only she brings out. Even Matt told me that he didn't understand how I could ever not be a good, nice person because with everyone else, I pretty much am no matter what. But with her...I just don't know. My energy is spent. At this point, I feel like I don't have any other choice but to give up because, frankly, this is killing me.

Hell

I feel like I'm in hell.
I've spoken before about how I didn't think it was possible to actually not love your own sister...
Well, now I know for a fact that it is.
That's all I can even say right now because it's still going on.
Just pray.
Please.
I don't know how much more I can take of this crap.

Terrible day.

I had a horrible headache yesterday, which meant I slept a lot.
The last time I woke up was 8 pm yesterday evening.
I haven't slept since.
NOT.
COOL.

And today I completely fell off my scooter and landed on my unprotected left foot.
ALSO.
NOT.
COOL.
Mom basically acted like she couldn't give a crap because OMG THE BABY! The weirder thing about it is the fact that Chelsea was really attentive to me, despite not having a cigarette all day, something that usually makes her super ornery and difficult to be around.

So yeah. That's about my day. I'm trying to stay up at least one more hour because I'm worried that if I fall asleep any sooner, I'll wake up at 3 in the morning and the cycle will start all over again. But it's getting really hard. I also didn't even start to feel tired till like 3 this afternoon, which is unusual for me. Usually I will start to feel it much sooner.

I apologize in advance for this being very jumbled. 'Tis very hard to keep my eyes open.

Good....

night.......

Doing Better

Aside from the extremely rude comment my mom made to me, today's been a really good day overall. I'm walking more, and it doesn't hurt as bad when I do.

My only problem is that I couldn't stay awake for some reason. I guess it's the fact that I didn't have soccer games to stay awake for. ;)

Thursday, I have to go back to Wilmington for another checkup and pre-op for the surgery next Friday. Mom is leaving either Friday afternoon or Saturday for a Holocast symposium in Boone. It's like a 6 hour drive so she might split up the drive and stay at her friend's house Friday night, because she doesn't have to be there till Saturday, but she doesn't know yet. She'll get back super late next Thursday night, but thankfully my surgery is supposed to be late afternoon the day after. And Chelsea is staying with a friend the entire time Mom is gone, because we don't do well when left alone for extended periods of time.

Ugh...can't stop sweating. Don't know why, since the air hasn't changed. Not fun. Good night. :)

Stressed

Shocking, huh?

Since I'm only trying to make my foot strong enough to have my other foot operated on in twelve days and live with two people who can't stop screaming at each other.

The foot's doing fair, I guess.  I'm just stressed about it not being 100% by next Friday.  But it'll have to be.

However, if you could be praying about both of these things, I'd really appreciate it.

Now, I'm gonna go take a shower and see if that will help me relax some.