Showing posts with label Blake. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Blake. Show all posts

Friday, March 10, 2017

Seven

Sunday, March 5th, my nephew turned seven.

My brain can hardly comprehend it.

I would move mountains to keep this boy safe and happy.

He is wild and exhausting and stubborn and sometimes frustrating, but he's also sweet and snuggly, fearless and free, smarter than most people think he is, and the silliest, funniest little boy I know.

I could not be more proud to be his Auntie Mal.

Keep dancing, Blake man. I love you to the moon and back.



These are so awkward, but hey, you try taking pictures with a sugared-up seven-year-old. ;)

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Thursday, March 5, 2015

Jack Sparrow says I'm not crazy.

I got released around 4:30 pm today. In the middle of a snowstorm.

Instead of waiting for Des to come to take me back home, I just left by myself seeing no reason for a second person to come out in the mess.

Instead of going straight home, I went to the bank first to withdraw the rest of the rent money for March.

And instead of taking a shower and going straight to bed, I stayed up way too late catching up on DVR stuff and playing trivia crack with Holly.  But you know what?


You can't argue with Captain Jack. ;)

Happy birthday to my sweet love bug, Blake. Five. Wow.

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Saturday, June 7, 2014

Rough day, to say the least.

Was up pretty much all night last night from pain again.

Slept about 4:15-6:35 when Chelsea showed up with Blake.  Mom and I were watching him today because she had to work (she usually only works Monday-Friday, but they asked her to come in for this shift).

Blake was...Blake.  My favorite person in the whole wide world, but absolutely exhausting.

Finally fell asleep again about 1 pm.  Thankfully, Blake took a long nap about this time, too, so Mom didn't even know I was sleeping because she didn't need me.  Slept until 4:30 when Chelsea arrived to pick him back up.

Fell back asleep once they left and the screaming subsided until about 6:30.

Got up, watched the rest of the USA vs Nigeria soccer game, ate pizza.

After the game, went for a walk.  This is where things got kind of scary.  I was towards the end of my first lap and suddenly I collapsed.  I didn't pass out, but my body gave out on me as if I had.  I was overcome with the worst chest pain I've had since that staph pneumonia in November 2009.  I hadn't been wheezing, but my chest was so tight I couldn't get air in very far.  I always bring my inhaler with me on walks, so I tried to use it but it didn't do a thing.  I laid there on the side of the road about 10 minutes, first waiting to see if it would subside (instead it only got worse), then trying to flag help down but the few cars that drove by didn't see me because the sun had just set about 20 minutes before so it was pretty dark, and for the first time that I've taken a walk, no one else walked by.  Finally, about 8:40, Mom called me back because I had called to ask her a question before I left, and when I told her what was up, she rushed back from Jim's house.

I was seriously afraid something was wrong (and it takes a lot to scare me medically) so a few minutes later I called 911...still on the side of the road.  Mom and her boyfriend showed up just as the ambulance got to me.  They did usual EMS tests and once the EKG came back normal and they figured it wasn't my heart, after learning about my history, they thought it was pneumonia and everyone but Mom agreed I should go get checked out.

I got to the ER about 9:30, and spent the next six hours getting a plethora of tests and bloodwork done.  Ruled out heart problems via the cardiac markers in the bloodwork.  Chest X-ray.  Chest CT with contrast (contrast is awful).  And a whole load of nebulizers.  They refused to give me pain meds, too, which was awful because as miserable as I was, with my extremely high pain tolerance after 20 surgeries, it was bad.

Long story short:  I spent 6 hours at the ER for them to tell me that this is my pleurisy, just instead of my usual pleurisy affecting the lining of my lung tissue and shooting pain down my right ribs and up to my arms, it's just severely severely inflamed my entire chest wall.  So Mom was pretty pissed that we went there "for nothing" since she wanted to just put me in bed and go see my family doctor on Monday, but with our luck and my medical history, if we hadn't gone, Monday something would be horribly wrong (they did the CT with contrast because they were very concerned I might have a blood clot in my lungs) and she wouldn't let herself have her surgery on Tuesday.  And at least we know what this is and why I've been wanting to do nothing but lay in bed and sleep as much as my body will allow the past few days.

So yeah, they gave me some anti-inflammatory meds, and just said keep taking nebulizer treatments, rest a lot, and don't do any strenuous activity until this eases up so as to not aggravate the inflammation and make it worse than it already is.  That means I won't be able to go walking for a while.

This is what I get for exercising. ;) (Kidding!)

But yeah, this is what I managed to get done tonight before all hell broke loose.


Now if you'll excuse me, it's past 4:30 am and I am beat.  I'm going to go try to rest...if the massive amounts of albuterol coursing through my system will let me.

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Wednesday, March 5, 2014

To my darling Blake,

You turned four years old today.

Make.  It.  Stop.

Somehow I blinked and you're this little boy with a personality like nobody I've ever met in my life and I don't know what happened to the little baby I was cradling in the recliner.  Right now you're laying in between me and Mimi snoring away, feeling awful after puking earlier.  But what did we think would happen after you ate 5 pieces of pizza, (at least) 4 mini cupcakes, and ice cream and then ran around like a maniac on a sugar high for the next 4 hours?

(By the way, you have the craziest appetite.  You always have.  You should be a giant.  And you also snore like a grown man.  Just saying.)

Oh, kid.  I couldn't love you more if I tried.  Every day of every year I fall more in love with you and feel more determined to protect you and keep you safe and give you the best that I can.  You are adorable and smart and cuddly and funny and weird and stubborn and mischievous and an absolute mess and I wouldn't trade you for anyone in the world.  You drive me insane in the best possible way, like any good nephew.  You are the best part of my life and the biggest reason I still like coming home to see the family.

I don't know the person I'd be if you hadn't been born, and I'm glad I don't have to find out.  Because you, my sweet little man, have taught me more than I could put into words.  You astound me.  I don't know how else to say it.  You absolutely astound me.  Your resilience.  Your sweetness.  Your temper!  Your sense of humor.  Everything about you amazes me, it's as if there had never been another four-year-old boy on the planet before.

There have been others, Blake, but there is no one like you.  Never forget that you are you for a reason, and please, don't waste time like I did trying to be someone you're not, someone you think other people want you to be.  Those people you're trying to please will almost certainly never be happy with you, and life is too short to spend it miserable with yourself.  You are wonderful.  And no matter what anyone tells you, or even what you might tell yourself one day, I think I got the best nephew in the world and I wouldn't trade you for anything.

I can't wait to see what the next year brings for you, and the person you become.  I'm so happy and honored that I get to watch it happen.  You are my favorite person in the world, and don't you forget it.

Some pictures and videos from your birthday...because I turn into a paparazzo when you're around...and because Aunt Holly couldn't be here and I wanted her to see as much as possible.














I love you more than you know, Blake.

Keep dancing.

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Thursday, January 2, 2014

Up All Night

Up all night last night with Blake.

Up all day out running errands and going to appointments with Mom and Blake.

Staying up late tonight loading my mom's music on her computer.  Because I'm nice.

Today was long.

I'm exhausted.

37 CDs to go.  Good night.

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Sunday, December 29, 2013

A step in the right direction!

For the first time since getting home from Texas, I feel like I actually had a decent amount of energy today.  YAY for that.  I'm definitely still coughing an absurd amount, but it's only Day 3 on the Prednisone, so this is very promising.

It's now almost 1:30 in the morning.  I woke up around 6:20 for absolutely no reason, which is crazy considering what time I fell asleep last night.  I helped Mom make chicken soup (because she had been up since 4 doing all sorts of things, but she also slept all day yesterday thanks to a tooth infection), then watched/got terrorized by Blake until about 12:30 (though Mom was around for most of it, he just happened to really like beating the crap out of me today).

After I took a nap, I started in on reading a book that I need to understand properly to write a book review on.  I got through 206 pages today.  The last 25 will have to wait for tomorrow.  Thankfully writing my two book reviews (there's another one, too) should not take too long because of my ability.  Then, I will be down to two incompletes from this past semester.

If y'all could pray for continued healing for my lungs and sinuses, that I avoid any infections, and that I continue to have productive days so I can get my school work done as well as the grad school applications that have deadlines very soon, I would greatly appreciate it.

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Friday, December 27, 2013

Pictures a-plenty.

Today was, all in all, another bust.  I'm pretty sure I have viral bronchitis.  I finally begged my way onto a 12-day burst of Prednisone, which is pretty much the one medicine left that may heal my lungs after nearly two weeks of not being able to breathe.  However, being 9 days out from surgery and a MRSA carrier means that being on Prednisone, a steroid, makes me highly susceptible to getting an infection.  Since I was on 2000 mg of antibiotics a day for a week and that did nothing, this was a risk I had to take if I want to breathe well before I go back to school.

So since nothing blog-worthy happened today, here are the pictures I actually managed to upload from Christmas.  They're nearly all pictures of Blake, because he's the fun part.





He was so obsessed with this pirate chest that he didn't want to open the rest of his presents.








This would be the stupid trampoline we were up all night trying to get put together.  For me, it was all worth it when I saw his face as he jumped on it.


True story:  since before Halloween (he was Jake from Jake and the Neverland Pirates for Halloween), Blake has insisted that a pirate says "Yo yo ho!"  It's still funny.




My precious!



I can't believe this girl is a freshman in high school and almost 15.


Surgery buddies!  Dustin had his shoulder operated on the Friday before my thyroid surgery.


I'm so behind on...everything.  And my family is getting hit hard right now.  Prayers for all of us would be greatly appreciated.

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Wednesday, December 25, 2013

God is for you. Christmas 2013.

Today was not a good day by worldly standards.

Mom, Holly and I were up all night trying to get Blake's Santa stuff together because mom decided to buy Blake an electric trampoline and it was the most difficult thing in the world to put together. By the time we finished, Blake woke up. So I did not fall asleep until 9 am this morning.

I got a few hours of sleep, and then the whole afternoon was spent trying to get ready for the big meal tonight and listening to Mom and Chelsea yell at each other.

Uncle Kirk, Aunt Donna, Dustin and Brianna were here from 4:45 to 7:30 and that period of time was actually really good. This family loves food, and we eat GOOD at holidays. And then we just say around playing with Blake and telling stories about all the stupid things we've each done recently and laughing hysterically. It was great. It's how we spend every Christmas after our big meal, but it's even better when the four of them are here. More laughter!

And then they left and the arguing restarted. We watched a couple of stupid movies and snapped at each other some more. During all of that, every muscle in my body started hurting to the point that I cried through half of the second movie. Not that anyone cared.

Yes, there are pictures. But I can't even sit up right now (see previous paragraph) so I am blogging from my phone and uploading pictures on here is a hassle. Plus I just want to go to bed. They'll be up eventually.

In sum, this Christmas, I am thanking God that my joy comes from Him and not worldly circumstances and that He gives gifts like peace that passes all understanding and a Son who saves me every single day.

This was my Facebook status today. It sums up what I want to say to you all, as well.

"Merry Christmas to my family, friends, and friends that feel more like family. God has given me more blessings through y'all this year than I can count, and I pray that each of you is surrounded by your own family of love today, whatever that may look like. I hope you remember that God is for you today and every day. Christmas happens, that little baby was born in a barn so many years ago, because God is for you. We are all loved more than we could ever imagine. Rest in that. And I love you, too."

Merry Christmas.

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Sunday, December 8, 2013

I need you to stand with me.

Summation of my day:  Lots of sleep.  When I was awake, I was dealing with Chelsea and Blake by myself because Mom hasn't come out of her room.  I'm stuck in the living room because I currently don't have a bedroom, so there was no escape.  I completed my take-home Model UN final, and then listened to music as much as possible until Chelsea and Blake finally went to bed.

I'll be honest.  I don't want to be in Swansboro.  I want to be back at Campbell where I don't feel so emotionally exhausted every second of every day, where I feel loved and wanted and accepted unconditionally.  I survived today, which means I have 27 days before I go back.  Aside from this Thursday morning to next Monday evening when I'm in Texas (ahh!!!), I will be in this house, with these people.

The idea is daunting.  I already have 5 major writing assignments from this semester that I have to work on over break, plus grad school applications (4 of the 6 are due in the first two weeks of January), plus possibly having surgery.  But I am here.  And they don't get to dictate my feelings while I'm here.  I don't want to spend every second completely miserable just because I don't like being here.  I don't want to constantly be in tears or on the verge of them because we just got in another fight and I hate myself all over again for what I said.  I want to show them that I'm not in control in my life, but neither are they.  I want to show them that God is my King, that He rules my heart so much that I am consumed by His love and grace.

I'm ready to be different.  I know I've said that before, but this time, there's actually a real resolve in my heart to make it happen.  I'm tired of the way things have been for so long, not just for me, but for them, too.  I want to be so at peace that it makes them go "What is going on with you?".  The fact that I am a Christian and have faith in God scares them enough as it is; if my actions finally start to reflect that, I know it will absolutely blow their minds.  I can't put the pressure on myself to be the one who makes them see Jesus, but as Austin told me on Friday as he tried to calm my nerves about coming here for break, I may be the seed planter.  And that's still important.  We all need something better.

Y'all, I can't do this alone.  And yes, I mean that it's going to take the supernatural strength of the Lord to change me from the inside out.  But what I also mean, what I need all of you for, is that I need the prayers of my sisters and brothers in Christ backing me up.  One of the biggest lessons I've learned over the past few months is the true power of prayer, that I really can feel the prayers of the people who love me even when we aren't in the same place.  So even though I feel selfish in saying this, I need you to pray for me over the next 4 weeks.  Pray that every time I want to respond in anger and hate, I stop myself.  Pray that I learn to love them more than I resent them.  Pray that this is the beginning of change, if not in my family, in my heart.  Pray that when I go back to Campbell on January 5th, they see me differently.  Pray that no matter what happens, I am filled with the joy of the Lord, the joy that is founded on how good God is and not my worldly circumstances.  And pray I am able to forgive myself when I screw this up, that I remember my forgiveness is already secured in God's eyes.

I can't do this alone.  For once, I'm self-aware enough to admit that.

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Friday, November 29, 2013

Progress

Since Thanksgiving landed on the 28th this year, I thought it'd be pretty slack of me not to write about something I'm thankful for on the last two days.  Also I'm a bit anal - I get it from my mother - so not doing it would have really bugged me.

But well, I feel pretty awful, so I'm not going to make some artistic, flowy, poetic entry into what I'm thankful for tonight.  Just cutting to the chase.  Sometimes you just don't have the pretty words in you.

My mom hadn't spoken to her brother and his wife in over a year and a half before tonight.  I stopped speaking to them about a year ago because...shall we say, what happened that made my mom do it got about ten times worse.  Details aren't important; that's just the lead-in to why tonight was important.

This past weekend, my uncle asked my grandma to invite us over to his house for a Thanksgiving meal today.  He knew he had to get her to do it, because my mom had ignored all of his previous attempts to reach out.  My mom said that with the look in my grandma's eyes, and knowing as a mom how she would feel if her kids couldn't stand to be in the same room even on a holiday, she couldn't say no.

So we went.  And it was really good.  Things were a bit weird between my mom and my uncle, but you could chock that up to how crappy my mom feels.  She, Chelsea and Blake left about an hour and a half into it because Blake was ornery and really wanted to go, but Mommom and I stayed and hung up for another hour or so.

And it was fun.  We laughed and talked and joked and it wasn't weird at all.  I spent most of the time talking to my cousins, but it was never weird between me and my uncle and aunt when I did talk to them.  And I'm glad that I have so much fun with my cousins.  Dusty and I are finally at the stage in life where we seem to really like each other.

So, long story short, it's not 100%.  My family may never be close like so many of the families I see/know, who spend all day on holidays laughing together and making memories and all that Hallmark-card-type stuff, but things are better now than they were before.  Possibly than they've ever been.

It's progress.  And for that, I am thankful.

Three pictures from tonight.


Dusty and I sat on the couch for a while after dinner taking selfies. Food coma euphoria. ;)


me and Brianna. she turns 15 in February, and I am old.


for some reason, to me, we both look much older than we are. (Dusty's 23. we're the June babies of the family.)

And with that, I bid you adieu.  It's time for me to dope myself up on some Benadryl and go to sleep. Early day tomorrow!

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Thursday, November 28, 2013

Thanksgiving: The Twitter Edition

I'm so doped up on cold meds that I don't think I can accurately recount today, so I thought I would instead fill you in on today via my tweets.  I got on a string of posting what I'm thankful for, but there are some other things thrown in.






















After Jobs goes off, I'm going to watch Glee (because for some reason Fox decided to air an episode on Thanksgiving) and then go to bed.  Chelsea works 8-3 tomorrow and Mom is, well, recovering from surgery, so it's going to be a long and rough day of babysitting.

I have so much to be thankful for.  I am on the craziest journey ever, better and wilder than I ever could have imagined, and I know it's only going to get better and wilder from here.

But one last thing:  You. Yes, you that's reading this right now.  I'm thankful for you, too.

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Saturday, October 12, 2013

Name Overload

So today was family reunion day.  As many members of my dad's side of the family get together once a year in October and eat barbecue and spend a couple commenting on how much everyone has changed.  It's always a very awkward day for a couple reasons...one, the relationship between us and my dad's (very large) family hasn't always been the greatest, and I don't think you could've ever called us close.  My first cousins greet and treat us like acquaintances, for example.  Second, my dad's mom had like ten siblings, and all of them had several kids, and most of those kids had kids, and now even some of those kids have had kids.  Put me in a room full of people I see once a year (if that!), and every year, it feels like I'm meeting them all for the first time.  This year, in fact, I think there were a couple people that I was actually meeting for the first time.  So basically, considering "shy" isn't exactly how you'd describe me, my traditional greeting for the majority of these people at these reunions is "Hi, I'm Mallory, Frances' son Keith who passed away's youngest daughter.  What's your name and how am I related to you?" And pretty much by the time I get the family tree of whoever is there that year straightened out in my head, it's time to leave and I start all over again the next year.

This was actually the only picture I got...my traditional picture with Blake before I leave every break.  Because Mom totally surprised me and agreed to let Holly take me back to school after the reunion!


He wasn't in the mood to take a picture, to say the least.  All he wanted was to run around in the grass and trees.

The only other picture I took in the 48 hours that I was with my family was a picture of the view that I had for most of Friday afternoon, after my head eased up enough for me to stand being awake.


This would be me, laid back in a recliner with the feet propped up, and Blake laying between my legs using my stomach as a pillow.  I will forever volunteer to be this kid's pillow as long as he's willing to snuggle with his Auntie Mal. :)

I guess there just wasn't a whole lot I wanted to remember about this particular Fall Break.  So yes, after the reunion, I convinced Mom to let Holly drive me back to school instead of her doing it because she seriously needed to go home and take pain meds for her partially torn rotator cuff (yikes!).  Holly actually volunteered to do it.  This gave Holly and I some one-on-one sister time, and I made it back just in time to drop my stuff off and head over to the soccer field.  The game was good.  It ended in another tie after double overtime, which sucks, but those boys are fighters and you can tell they put everything they have into every game.  I just feel bad for the seniors, that their last season isn't going the way it should be.  They have the talent; the score just rarely seems to come out in their favor.

During halftime, I stepped WAY outside of my comfort zone and participated in the halftime game that they have for people in the stands.  Basically, two people volunteer, and since the girl searching for people was having a hard time getting someone to agree to it especially since there were way less people there than normal because it's Fall Break, I got that random spontaneous streak in me and decided to do it.  Turns out, I ended up doing it against an athlete who goes to my church.  We started at the midfield line, spun around 5 times, dribbled to the penalty box, spun around 5 more times, and then shot, and the first person to make a goal won.  I did.  I'm fairly certain he let me win, but the people who I was sitting near said he looked really bad, so I don't know.  If he did, that was very sweet; it's small and stupid, but doing something like that in front of a crowd of people is intimidating, especially because of my disabilities, so it meant a lot to me.  I won a coupon for a free frozen yogurt from a place nearby.

After the game, I headed into the athletic facility to say hi to Bryce and Justin.  Bryce spent a good bit of time in an ice bath, and his girlfriend is down this weekend because it's her fall break, too, so when he was out he spent most of his time talking to her and his family, so I didn't get in his way.  I was going to leave after I saw both of them, but then I ended up introducing myself to one of their teammates, who subsequently introduced me to another teammate, and long story short, I think I've met the majority of the team now.  It was really nice.  They're a great group of guys, and several of them were so sweet that I came up early on my Fall Break to see them play (they didn't know that I came for several reasons, but you know, whatever).  I'm excited that I'll be able to go to their last 3 home games and support them.  My last soccer-spectator season here at Campbell, ah!  Eventually, one of the guys I was talking to insisted that I get something to eat, which brought back a lot of memories of all the post-game tailgates I went to with/for Ryann. :)  I was sort of hoping that if I waited around long enough, I could get someone who was willing to give me a ride back to my dorm because I was/am rather sore from that halftime fun.  So I just hung out and talked to some of the players and their parents who were hanging around.  One of the player, Scooter, his parents recognized me as the girl who had won the halftime game, so they asked me what I won.  I told them, and Scooter's mom told me that this frozen yogurt place is pretty much his favorite ice cream shop in all of NC, so I just randomly decided to give my coupon to him since I'm not big on frozen yogurt anyway.  It seemed like I kind of made his night, and I like making people happy when I can, especially when it's not really a sacrifice for me. :)  In return, he gave me a ride back to my dorm, which worked out great because he also gave a ride to one of his teammates who lives in a dorm right near me.

When I got back, I cooled down for a bit because I was really hot despite the fact that it was barely warm outside, did some computer stuff, unpacked, and loaded the rest of my medicine cube.  Then I shaved and took a fantastic hot shower.  Now, it's 2:30 am and I'm waiting for my laundry to finish drying before I can go to bed.  I still need to pluck my eyebrows, anyway, so it works.

This is another reason I am happy I came back tonight.  I slept in the recliner at the house because the spare bed is so uncomfortable, but it's really hard to get restful sleep with dogs who like to bark for no reason and a wild 3-year-old who wakes up at the crack of dawn.  About 11:30 this morning, knowing we didn't have to leave until close to 2:00, I knocked on my mom's door and asked her if I could come in.  She asked me what was wrong, and I said, "I'm awake, and I don't want to be."  She laughed.  So I did get a nap in her room, but I'm still looking forward to climbing into my clean, amazing bed in an hour or so.

So yeah, between all the extended family and meeting so many of the soccer players, my brain feels a bit like it's on name overload.  Maybe that's adding to why I'm so tired.  That and it's past 2:30 and I've already taking my sleeping pill and I slept like crap last night.

I love this school.  This school is home.  Campbell proud, always and forever. :)

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Friday, August 9, 2013

I'm a nerd. A nerd with an adorable nephew.


It's officially official! :)  I am allowed to learn how to drive a car.  This is my temporary permit until the hard one comes in the mail.  I'm so excited.  Mom's even letting me drive part of the way to school tomorrow (we're going in the old car).  Yes, we're going to school tomorrow.  Mostly to get out of the house, but also so I can study without dealing with Chelsea and she can continue to get more work done on her classroom.  The good news is it will be all day, and Mom only has one bulletin board left to cover now that she's gotten some new wrapping paper, and that's the only thing left I can help her with.  So I should actually get some real studying done this time.

Speaking of studying, today was a rather productive day in that area.  Despite dealing with an unbearable headache for part of the day, I managed to study all the vocab and the 100 math concepts in the back of the book, and then I took the practice test that was also in the back of the book.  If that were the real test, I would've gotten a 161 (out of 170) on Verbal, and 163 on Math.  I still need to really fix my issues in the Verbal section, and I also made a few stupid mistakes because I was so tired tonight, so I know I can do better than this.  I have to do better than this.  But still, scoring in the 160s when I was not at the top of my game is a pretty good confidence booster.

Not much else happened today.  I listened to a lot of music while I was working to drown out all the yelling because Chelsea was particularly awful today.  I am happy that Mom is basically going on strike against her.

Random change of subject.  You know how a lot of people are obsessed with games like Candy Crush?  Well, I'm obsessed with Words with Friends.  The nerd is obsessed with what is basically Scrabble.  Wonders never cease, do they? ;)  All that to say, this happened the other day, and it made me pretty stoked.


134 points on one word.  That beat my old one-word record by 22 points.  :)  Watch, before long, I'll get hooked on Candy Crush.

Also, here's a funny video for you.  We were in the car after we picked Chelsea up from work the other day, and the song "Won't you take me to Funkytown?" came on the radio.  I asked Blake if he wanted to go (jokingly), but he took it seriously and was all, "Pwe pwe pweeeeeeeeease?! Go Funk-town!"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7MhF6z6iBDc


HILARIOUS.  I've watched that video like two dozen times and it cracks me up every time.  Man, I love that kid.

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