Yesterday, I had a really long conversation with Morgan. We talked about so many different things, our families, guys, school, health, it was great to finally be back with someone that I can vent to and trust that they won't say anything. But anyway, during this conversation, she said something that's been stuck in my head.
I said, "Some people think that I'm, like, superhuman for going through all the medical stuff I've been through." And she said, "Mallory, you are kind of superhuman."
I just don't get it. I'm a human being, just like everyone else. And she's a Christian, so I thought she'd understand that I couldn't do any of this on my own. I'd be dead if it weren't for God.
And then that led me to wonder if I'm not pointing to God enough. I want to be the kind of girl who can show the whole world that God is the sole reason I am alive.
I think my biggest problem is that I am freakishly, painfully shy around people I don't know. College is a world full of strangers, and my entire life I've been used to strangers judging me, for my appearance, for my intelligence, for my health problems, or even lies they hear or assume about me without talking to me.
But Jesus wouldn't care about that. Jesus would go around spreading His message no matter what people were saying.
*sigh* I just wish it were that easy for me.
Anyway, classes start tomorrow. I have Intro to Christianity at 9:00, French at 1:00, and English at 2:00. I like that there's a nice long break in there for me to come back and eat lunch and take a breather. I'll let you know how it goes.
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