Monday, May 25, 2009

I did it.

Not really sure why, but I did.

I finally told Matt that I have really strong feelings for him. I didn't mention "the L word" because I really didn't want to freak him out too badly. And frankly, this was the best reaction I could've asked for (aside from, ya know, him telling me he's in love with me). I explained that the only reason why I never told him before how I felt (like when he was actually single) was because guys always tend to awkward when they don't like a girl and she says that, and I was really afraid of losing him. He said that when people do that, it's like punishing someone for the way they feel, and you can't help having feelings for someone. So I basically have had no reason to worry, ever. Go figure. But he knows, and he's okay, and it was pretty much the reaction that I was expecting, so I'm okay. At least it's done and over with.

We actually spent a while talking about relationships in general, as well. And he said that even though I feel this strongly about him now, I'm going to get college and just be shocked about how many other chill, accepting, caring and friendly guys there are out there. He thought that Nicole (his 3-year high school girlfriend) was going to be "the one" for him and then he got to college and dumped her within a week.

It's weird. My mom has told me the same stuff before, but it always seems more real coming from him. Less mom-like, you know?

Oh, and I also told him that he's basically the only real friend I've got, and he realized that was why I feel so attached to him. He gets everything. And more importantly, he doesn't get defensive or angry about it.

So yeah, I'm good.

Kind of.

You know what the scary part is? Hearing all the stuff he said today made me fall even harder.

But time heals all wounds....I hope.

Oh, and since I showed you a picture of us from last year, this is what we look like today.

Isn't that second one especially attractive? ;)

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