Sometimes, being a girl really SUCKS.

I hate PMS.
I hate periods.
I hate hormones.
I hate cramps.

Guys have it so easy, I tell ya. :P

Today's been another day full of Chelsea yelling - escalated by the fact that Mom went back to work today and wasn't here to help me.

Tomorrow starts my bike-riding regimen. I'm actually looking forward to it. (Is that odd?) I'm thinking if I watch TV while I ride, that will help me not think about what I'm doing.

I'm so tired. I went to bed at like 1:30 last night and woke up at 7:23 this morning and could not get back to sleep. So I've been up all day. Yes, I managed to not even take a nap! I washed my sheets today (I love clean sheets!), so hopefully, I'll sleep good tonight.

Have I mentioned recently that I love my bed? :)

Not Me Monday! 11/30/09

Welcome to Not Me Monday! This blog carnival was created by MckMama. Go over to her blog to see what others are not doing this week!

I did not fall in the shower on Wednesday, and bang my head, shoulder, and elbow, twist my back, and sprain my good ankle all in one fall. I'm much more coordinated than that. I'm also smart enough that, when the shower floor feels slippery to me, I will rinse it out before trying to take a shower. If I had fallen, it would not be my sister's fault because she would not have forgotten to rinse the shower out after she shaved her legs.

I did not let my teenage hormones take me over on Monday and become un-characteristically rude to my mom and sisters on Monday. I'm the good child; I would never be so mean!

I have not slightly pigged out on the mints that are in my kitchen. I have fantastic willpower and can control myself much better than that!

I did not get an orange phone this week. I am not so obsessed with the color that I would not beg my mom into taking my 5-month-old phone just so I could get the same phone in orange.

Lastly, it has not been almost 7 months since I have done a Not Me Monday!

Nope, NOT ME! :)

A New Goal

Okay, so I've made a decision about something. I really need to lose weight, and it's not going to be easy once I get back to Campbell because it will be even colder than it is here, and cold weather is terribly bad for my asthma, so I probably won't want to leave my dorm except to go to class or eat. So I've made a decision/goal while I'm still home.

Starting December 1 (because I like starting things off on the start of a month or week. Yes, I'm weird like that) I am going to ride my exercise bike at least 30 minutes a day at least 5 days a week. Yes, I realize that that means I will have to ride it every day this week once I start, but I think I'm ready. Hopefully, this will make at least a little bit of difference by January 10.

I'm thinking I'll post how I'm doing from week to week, so that you guys can help keep me responsible. And buy myself a scale. My mom hates having a scale in the house (hah!) but I think I would really benefit from one.

Okay, that's about it. Today's been a lazy day because I haven't really felt like doing much because of my ankle, so there's nothing much else to say.

Thankfulness

Okay, so I forgot how absolutely exhausting it is to help prepare a feast for two days and then stuff yourself with food, so this post isn't going to be nearly as deep or long as I originally thought it would be.

Basically, the gist of what I want to say is this: This year, I'm thankful to be alive.

There are so many things that could've gone wrong with the situations that were going wrong with my health in the past three months. I could've died on many different occasions. So yes, this year I'm thankful to be alive.

I'm thankful that God protected me.

I'm thankful my mom has been with me 24/7. Not only for my peace of mind, but because she is the best advocate for me when I'm too tired or in pain to argue with doctors.

Okay, you get my point. I am now going to crawl down under my covers and sleep off the food coma that's setting in. :)

Happy Thanksgiving to all, and to all a good night.

What a day.

Today is crazy. We're having a belated Thanksgiving feast tonight because my mom's brother Kirk went with his wife and kids to my aunt's parents' house yesterday, and so my mom is in her usual crazy "OMG COMPANY'S COMING" mode. Lots and lots of cleaning, rearranging furniture, and the delicious smells of cooking. :)

My great-uncle Ed (the one who's paying for me to go to Campbell) and my grandma (my dad's mom) Frances are coming from almost two hours away, so I'm really excited. We're pretty sure my grandma is getting Alzheimer's, so it's really important to spend time with her while she's still in somewhat good shape.

My ankle is still throbbing since I fell in the shower Wednesday, but I finally got an ankle brace a couple hours, so that's helping support it. It's just not very easy to move around a lot. Plus, I have yet another killer headache, and my mom and Holly have been blasting music for almost 4 hours, so that kind of sucks, but at least everyone's in a good mood today. Even Chelsea's being pretty cooperative and helpful, so that's a little miraculous.

I'm in my room trying to get a little quiet and get rid of this headache right now. I feel kind of bad for sitting on my bed while my mom is in the kitchen, but she told me to do it, so it's not so bad, right? ;) I have till 3:00, and then I told her I would go back out and peel potatoes. She makes amazing garlic mashed potatoes. I'm so excited about all the deliciousness coming tonight that I can barely eat today. Haha!

Okay, it's now 2:45. I'm going to enjoy my last 15 minutes of quiet. I just felt like updating. There's a thankfulness post I'm going to write tonight after the feast, so look out for that. I hope you all had a wonderful Thanksgiving yesterday and are doing well today.

The Icing on the Cake

of the day of crap.

I went to take a shower, because I thought it would help me relax. I slipped and fell. Banged my head, shoulder, and elbow, hurt my back, and twisted my ankle. It was quite graceful, really. Just what I needed, too. *sigh*

Desperate for Change

I'm sorry that again, it's been a few days since I've posted, but I've been in a really weird place lately. I guess the full reality of everything that's happened in the past few months finally hit me and I threw myself a pity party. Then, something changed in my family. I don't know what, but I started getting treated very differently, mostly by my mom. Monday, she spent all day yelling at me when I was trying really hard to be nice to her all because Chelsea was being her usual evil self and Holly was being stupid and not taking care of her car. I hadn't done anything to make her mad, but I was getting yelled at left and right. Yesterday was okay; we spent most of it sleeping and cleaning for Thanksgiving. But then, I got my period, which naturally makes me more hormonal than usual. Chelsea, of course, picks now to do every little thing to aggravate me, and I'm the one who gets yelled at for not putting up with it like I almost always do. And today has made it crystal clear that while Chelsea thinks she's so NOT cared about and Mom favors me and Holly and blah blah blah, in reality, Chelsea gets whatever the heck she wants whenever the heck she wants it. Monday night, I was on my phone, which I had barely had all day because Mom was using it a lot, texting people, when Chelsea asked me to use it to call her "boyfriend". I told her I was using it, and so she goes to Mom and whines that I won't give her my phone. So Mom comes in and yells at me to give her the phone for 10 minutes. So I do. 10 minutes later, I'm still not allowed to have it because she's waiting for him to call back. It's half an hour before I can use MY phone again, when I was already in the middle of conversations with people!

And then there's the fact that Mom enables Chelsea to kill her baby. Smoking half a pack a day when your baby already has only one artery is just cruel, and my mom buys the cigarettes for her every other day to help with that. I asked her about it and she said "I'm not going to make her quit during the holidays." Hello! It's not been a holiday every day since July when we found out she was pregnant. It's like I'm the only one who gives a crap about that baby.

I'm the good kid, and I get treated like shit. Chelsea's an evil bitch 98% of the time and gets away with EVERYTHING. I can't wait for January. I want to go back to Campbell. I want to get the hell away from these people. I love them, but I don't feel loved here. I'm desperate for something to change, or I'm going to go insane.

Excuse me, I have to go cry myself to sleep now.

Sleep

I love it.
Sometimes, you just need to sleep the day away.
At least when I'm asleep, I can't think about how badly my face itches.
It looks like the worst zit breakout in history, but my mom thinks it's a rash.
Who knows.
I just want it to go away. It's disgusting.



I'm sorry. TMI? :)

Bout time, huh?

I was really trying not to go several days without posting, but life has been insane since I last posted.

Tuesday was spent arguing with the doctors because they wanted to send me home that day, but I had crappy oxygen saturations all night Monday night, and my mom was really nervous. The docs claimed it was a probe problem, but thank God for Tom the pain guy, because he argued and fought with them until they agreed to give me one more night. It was the best thing, too, because one more day of breathing treatments and medicine, and Tuesday night, my sats were great.

So Wednesday we were ready to go bright and early. Hah! We could not wait to get out of there. Then, a freaky thing happened, and as I was washing my face with one of the washcloths (the same washcloths I've used every day that I've been there), without even using soap or anything, and my face broke out in a rash. The redness went away rather quickly, but my face is still caught in the worst breakout I've ever had. We left the hospital and went to our usual celebratory "yay I left the hospital" lunch at Olive Garden. There, we ended up getting seated next to a woman who, the second she saw me, recognized that I had a shunt and we talked for over an hour. It's great how God puts people in your path at just the right time, isn't it? After that, Mom decided that she really wanted to get me new bedding while we were out because she had a plan to literally clean my room out from top to bottom and get rid of all possible allergens. So we went to WalMart, and I was out of breath just walking to the back of the store. Luckily, they brought me one of those motor scooters. We got mattress and pillow allergy covers, but no good bedding. So we went to Target, and still no luck, but I got a motor scooter there, too. Bed Bath & Beyond had nothing. Then to Sears and they had nothing. Okay, I shouldn't say nothing, because there were things that could've worked, but we weren't super excited about anything and they weren't great, so we went on. I was totally exhausted, but I kept going just because I knew this was important. JC Penney's had nothing, either, and I was about to give up. But I agreed to one more store since we were already at the gigantic mall - Belk. Every place but Sears had wheelchairs, so I was okay. We got up to the second floor, and headed for the bedding section. Oh hallelujah, we found the PERFECT one! The orange was the perfect shade, I love the geometric shapes; I was instantly giddy about it. So we finally left about 5:00 and headed for home. Needless to say, I slept the entire way there except to wake up for dinner. :)

Thursday we had big plans to start on my room, but that so did not happen. Mom and I slept all day long. And we needed it, too. A good sleep in a real bed without being woken up every 10 minutes can do wonders for you. :) Then, of course, we were up till 3 am singing The Sound of Music and laughing hysterically. (Hey, you trying singing "The Lonely Goatherd" and not laughing!)

My mom, being the crazy insomniac that she is, woke up at 6:30 and started emptying out my room. She woke me up at 8. At that point, she had already gotten everything except for my big dresser out. We cleaned. We cleaned. We cleaned some more. We moved furniture. Lots of furniture. We rearranged my room. We rearranged Chelsea's room. We switched the dressers between the two rooms. We moved the exercise bike into my room. It was a long freakin' day. But now I'm sitting in my own room on my new comforter, and it's so worth it. :) My mom is the best person alive. She did most of it herself since Chelsea's pregnant and lazy, and I'm weak. She's amazing. Seriously.

So yeah. That should explain why I haven't blogged. But I'll try not to leave you guys hangin' like this again. :)

(And yes, I do have a crazy love for smiley faces.)

It's almost over!

They're taking me off IV pain meds in the morning.
As long as nothing bad happens, I should be good to go to get out Wednesday.
My mom and I are concerned about how my oxygen sats drop if I lay flat, but they won't do anything and haven't mentioned doing anything to check it, so I guess it's not that big of a deal.
So yes, yes, this hospital stay is almost over.
Now, I just have to keep on top of things and make sure that my bowels don't get out of control. (TMI?) But I am taking my medicine like a good little patient without complaining, so there ya go.
Okay, I feel like I'm gonna puke. Time to go to sleep.