Desperate for Change

I'm sorry that again, it's been a few days since I've posted, but I've been in a really weird place lately. I guess the full reality of everything that's happened in the past few months finally hit me and I threw myself a pity party. Then, something changed in my family. I don't know what, but I started getting treated very differently, mostly by my mom. Monday, she spent all day yelling at me when I was trying really hard to be nice to her all because Chelsea was being her usual evil self and Holly was being stupid and not taking care of her car. I hadn't done anything to make her mad, but I was getting yelled at left and right. Yesterday was okay; we spent most of it sleeping and cleaning for Thanksgiving. But then, I got my period, which naturally makes me more hormonal than usual. Chelsea, of course, picks now to do every little thing to aggravate me, and I'm the one who gets yelled at for not putting up with it like I almost always do. And today has made it crystal clear that while Chelsea thinks she's so NOT cared about and Mom favors me and Holly and blah blah blah, in reality, Chelsea gets whatever the heck she wants whenever the heck she wants it. Monday night, I was on my phone, which I had barely had all day because Mom was using it a lot, texting people, when Chelsea asked me to use it to call her "boyfriend". I told her I was using it, and so she goes to Mom and whines that I won't give her my phone. So Mom comes in and yells at me to give her the phone for 10 minutes. So I do. 10 minutes later, I'm still not allowed to have it because she's waiting for him to call back. It's half an hour before I can use MY phone again, when I was already in the middle of conversations with people!

And then there's the fact that Mom enables Chelsea to kill her baby. Smoking half a pack a day when your baby already has only one artery is just cruel, and my mom buys the cigarettes for her every other day to help with that. I asked her about it and she said "I'm not going to make her quit during the holidays." Hello! It's not been a holiday every day since July when we found out she was pregnant. It's like I'm the only one who gives a crap about that baby.

I'm the good kid, and I get treated like shit. Chelsea's an evil bitch 98% of the time and gets away with EVERYTHING. I can't wait for January. I want to go back to Campbell. I want to get the hell away from these people. I love them, but I don't feel loved here. I'm desperate for something to change, or I'm going to go insane.

Excuse me, I have to go cry myself to sleep now.