(Whew. Nothing like an interview, 3 back-to-back tutoring sessions and a meeting in one afternoon/evening to wipe you out. It's 11:50 and I'm just now starting this post.)
Last night, right as I was getting ready to climb in bed, I got this text from a friend.
"I find it more than a little interesting and coincidental that you would be attacked in such a way the day after you experienced so much joy participating in worship. It seems that when we have those moments we are attacked the most to see if we will hold on to what we have gained. I will continue to pray that you have the strength to carry on and the faith to hold on no matter what is striking at you."
Yeah, believe it or not, the idea of a spiritual attack never crossed my mind once in the mess that was last night until I got that text. But once I read it, I really felt like this friend of mine was right. The timing of it was just too weird. I think satan was mad that I had experienced so much joy leading worship at church and hadn't let fear hold me back, that he wanted to try to pull me away from that feeling and, more importantly, the God who gave it to me.
But he didn't. He couldn't. I wouldn't let him because even through my tears, I could still say that God is good. And I am so thankful for that.
It's gotten me to thinking, though. I feel like the closer I grow to God and the deeper my relationship with Christ becomes, the more the enemy is going to try to destroy that, like these attacks are only going to come more frequently. He's telling me that I need to be ready for them.
So my next question was asking God how I'm supposed to be ready for them, and the answer immediately came to me..
Scripture is wholly and purely absolute Truth. Truth is the best and only real weapon one can use to combat vicious lies. I have to immerse myself in Scripture more and more every day in order to avoid sinking into the death trap that is satan and his lies. This is definitely an area that I can improve in in a major way, and doing so can only help prevent these attacks from crushing me (even temporarily).
I don't have to fight the enemy. That battle has long been over and won when Jesus took the death I deserve. I just have to hold on to His Truth to guide me day by day when things are good and to protect myself when things are bad.
How deeply God loves us, to put a guidebook that doubles as armor right in front of us. My heart aches for the Christians around the globe who don't have access to a Bible. This lesson I've gotten today just makes me want to treasure mine even more.
And not only is it my protection, it will connect me straight to the heart of the Lord, strengthening my love for and relationship with Him. It's long past time to make a big change in this part of my life.