Sunday, January 4, 2015

Crackers and Cowboys

One of the (many) perks of staying at my grandma’s house is that she has an overabundance of food here, specifically snack food. And like the cliché grandmother, she will ask you approximately every twelve minutes if you’re hungry and if you would like (insert almost certainly unhealthy snack here) to eat.

Well, tonight I needed to eat a snack because I was getting lightheaded, so I decided to try this box of crackers that has been sitting on her kitchen counter since I first showed up here last weekend.

Best cracker decision of my life.

Cranberry and Sage Triscuits, if you were not specifically labeled “Limited Edition”, I would buy you in bulk from now until the end of time. You are the perfect cracker. I’ve never bought food off the internet before, but for a good bit, I seriously considered finding you on Amazon and buying as much of you as I could find. This I promise you now: if you appeared because of this Christmas season, I will be on high alert for you next December so we can continue this love affair.

Okay, cheese over.

(Get it? Cheese? Because I’m talking about crackers? Ba dum shh.)

In other grandmother related news, despite the fact that I’ve been alive for 22.5 years, today I learned two very interesting things: my grandmother actually likes and cares about the NFL, and my grandmother REALLY hates the Cowboys. Granted, the second thing isn’t too surprising because my grandmother has a deep prejudice against anything relating to Texas (don’t ask), but it was still a little weird when I turned on the Lions/Cowboys game because nothing else was on tv on this Sunday afternoon and she spent the next 3.5 hours ranting about every little thing that went in the Cowboys’ favor. And on the rare occasion when she wasn’t complaining about the Cowboys, she was asking me about the playoffs and what teams were set up to play who next and all that. I legitimately had no idea she would care. 

Complexities run deep in this family, I know.

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