Tuesday, February 4, 2014

You've never failed, and You won't start now.

Okay, so here's what that prayer request was about.

About 6:00 last night, I opened my email, and saw a letter from the Dean of Students.  It said that a team of school officials had met to discuss me.  They needed my doctor to fill out a(nother!) form telling them I'm safe on campus.  They also needed me to sign a release that this Dean could be told I'm attending my counseling sessions (which is something I signed two weeks ago, at my first counseling session).  I had 24 hours to get on the Dean's calendar to have a meeting with her and get them this fax number from my doctor.  If I did not respond and comply with this request (their word, not mine), the team would meet again to "evaluate my enrollment".

Evaluate my enrollment?  That's a really fancy way of saying kick me out.  Cue sobbing.  Mom (on the phone) and Mommom both listened and helped me calm down and told me that they knew I was doing everything I was told and that I should just get this new form taken care of and go talk to the Dean about everything else, and if they still tried to kick me out, a whole slew of people would be raising hell...starting with my Uncle Ed.  I eventually stopped crying, but I couldn't get it out of my head.

So this morning, all around going to get my Botox, I called and got my neurologist's fax number.  I called and gave it to the Dean's secretary.  I got an appointment with the Dean for 4:30 today.  The neurologist's nurse called me later and told me the doctor needed a release to even fill out the form, so I told them to fax it to the number that faxed them the form and I would sign it at my meeting.  I basically spent all day trying not to completely freak out, which was not helped by the fact that I did not sleep well last night.

I took a nap before the meeting, and woke up to an email from the head of Student Success, asking me if I wanted her to send the Dean the letter that they got from my doctor weeks ago.  I, of course, responded, "Yes, please!"  I had to go by that office on my way to the meeting to pick up letters for my professors, and when I got there, I found out the reason why the Dean didn't already have the letter.  I assumed she did because she was in the meeting when I was told what needed to be in the letter and requested that some things be included.  AND no one told me I needed to give permission for her to get it.  And the head tried to email me last week to ask for permission, but I never got the email because she emailed the other "majones" in the Campbell email database.  And she didn't realize she had done so until today.  So that team of officials thought that I was withholding the letter when, in reality, I had no idea I had anything to do.  Luckily, she sent the letter right over to the Dean and explained that the whole thing was her fault.  As for the other part, I had told the Dean in a reply email last night that I had already signed the release about me attending my counseling sessions, and I reiterated that in the meeting today.  She said she called the counseling center yesterday, and whoever answered the phone told her they didn't have the release, but she never spoke directly to my counselor.  So I told her I watched my counselor file it after I signed it two weeks ago, and if she spoke to my counselor she would know.  So basically, the Vice President of the university threatened to kick me out of school over my medical condition because people can't talk to each other.  Go figure.  At least everything seems to be straightened out now.  I told the Dean to tell that whole team that I really am doing everything I'm told, and she said, "I will!  I knew there had to be something missing because it's not like you to be non-compliant!" :)

On a lighter note regarding the whole thing, my mom finally was able to talking to this Dean today (they'd been playing phone tag for days) and she said, "Listen, I'm going to be as nice as possible because I'm a teacher so I know what it's like to deal with ornery parents, but here's the thing.  Telling someone with STRESS-INDUCED SEIZURES who is three months from graduating with two degrees and honors that you're 'evaluating their enrollment'?  NOT A GOOD PLAN."  Haha!  She comes in handy.  I think I'll keep her. ;)

Tonight, I went to my first FCA meeting, because my friend Zack invited me.  It was great.  There's music and a speaker.  One of the songs they did was "Oceans" by Hillsong, which is one of my all-time favorite songs and where the title of this post comes from.  When we sang, it hit me what a fool I've been today, completely freaking out.  I should've known it would work God.  God is good, and He wouldn't let this go wrong when I wasn't doing anything wrong.  I pray for the day when I don't just immediately freak out.  That will be a good day.  And the speaker even said, "You think God's not big enough for what you're dealing with?  Try Him."  BOOM.

May this be a lesson for me, though.  He's never failed.  He won't start now.  Thank you, Lord, for loving me even when I'm stupid.

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