Wow. 2009 is already over.
I remember going into 2009 thinking it had to be so much better than 2008. I mean, I was graduating high school, and getting to go to college! Getting away from high school alone made this year better than last. But I never could have seen what happened this year coming.
All of the medical trauma I went through this year taught me a lot. It taught me strength, just how amazing my mom truly is, and most importantly, how vital faith in God really is. If, even at my lowest points, I didn't know that God was watching over me, I never would have made it through the past four and a half months. I know that for a fact. Yes, there have been times when I wondered, "Why me? Haven't I had enough?", but in my soul, I know that He has a reason for everything he's thrown at me this year. Just because I don't see the reason, that doesn't mean the reason isn't there.
This year isn't the first year that my family has been through a lot of crap. Living with someone who has mental problems that they don't want to get help for is never easy. It hasn't been for the past ten years. However, just like every other hardship in anyone's life, you get used to it. I love my sister, even if it's sometimes hard for me to remember that I do. Being around her 24/7 when I haven't been in the hospital has taught me a whole new level of Christ-like compassion.
As much as I love my family, and I know I would do anything in the world to protect them, I know I am past this town. The three weeks I spent at Campbell in September gave me a brand new idea of what is really out there waiting for me. I met people who immediately accepted me for who I am, something totally different than what I am used to. I had fun. I learned a lot. As Matt said when I was talking to him on the phone one day while I was there, "You sound happier than you've ever been." Because I was. I love my family, but they were toxic for my spirit. I love Campbell, and I can't wait to go back on January 10th.
Not only did I make instant friends at Campbell, there are also people here online that I have come to treasure more than a lot of people I know in real life. My mom calls the computer my obsession, and maybe it is, but I know that there are certain people I have met through this blog, Bloom, and other places on the internet that have changed my life and who I am as a person. I am immeasurably grateful for them and the jouurney that the friendships I have made have taken me on.
So yes, this year has been quite a journey. I have been through things that I wouldn't wish on anyone, but I realize that it's just a part of life. I have learned much, lived much, and loved much. I can't wait to see what 2010 has in store...