If it didn't hurt so bad, it'd be AFV worthy.

So, um, OUCH.

I've been doing so well taking care of myself while the roommate has been at class/in the library and Holly's been at work, especially considering my right arm has so much nerve damage and my left arm is still strapped to my stomach.

Well, that ended today.

Holly bought Chinese food on Monday night because she was craving egg drop soup for her sore throat. Of course there were plenty of leftovers. So today, I decided to heat up the rest of the chicken and vegetables. I accidentally heated it a little too much - mistake numero uno.

I went to sit down. The plate slipped, and then there was scalding hot Chinese food and soy sauce all over me. It was so hot that I immediately tried to get up, but with the messed up footrest and my sling, getting up isn't a very easy process so I was sort of scooting out but also freaking out because it was SO HOT.

You know what happened next, as if this wasn't unfortunate enough? Well, you see, the right arm/side of my recliner has been messed up ever since the chair got warped in the storage unit summer of 2013 when the unit flooded. So it's been loose, but the chair still worked fine. Well, with me, a big girl, freaking out trying desperately to stand up and get out of the chair, it broke. And when the arm fell out, it really broke. Like completely fell over. And when the arm fell over, since the arm is connected to the whole wooden side of the chair, the whole chair collapsed. So I almost fell on the floor in my messy disaster.

Luckily, the arm didn't totally separate from the chair, so when I got up, I was able to stand the chair back up, but needless to say I won't be sitting in it for a while. Our super is incredibly handy, so we're going to ask him after Thanksgiving, like Friday, if he can maybe drill in some screws to hold it in place or something. I don't know, we'll see. If not, I may just resort to duct tape until I can afford a new recliner because a) I love that recliner and b) sleeping in my bed with this sling really hurts because I can't turn over and c) this couch is not very comfortable.

But hey, at least I only got two small burns out of the whole ordeal, one on my stomach and one on my thigh. It could have been a lot worse.

As if I didn't have enough aches and pains.

I have to wear this sling with my arm totally strapped to me until December 15th. As you might imagine, having your arm in that position all the time makes everything tense up. And when everything tenses up and stays tense for an extended period, it makes muscles hurt very badly.

So that's why I woke up today feeling like someone was sitting on my chest. The muscles across my collar bone and the top of my chest were a mess all day today. Loads of fun.

Tonight was the DWTS finale. I have loved Alfonso Ribeiro since the Fresh Prince years, but seeing him dance on this show has made me love him even more. He was my second favorite of the season, so if my favorite had to land in 3rd place, I'm glad he won.

So. Ferguson.

So many things could be said, but anything I want to say has already been said and often more eloquently than I ever could, so I'll just say that I think an injustice was done, and my prayers are with Michael Brown's family, the people of Ferguson, and everyone in the black community who feels betrayed by the decision that came out. Romans 12:15 says weep with those who weep, and my heart breaks for those who live in a constant state of fear and a feeling of "less-than". I can't imagine.

On a rare occasion, I'm keeping my mouth shut. The whole thing makes my head and hurt ache.

I went to my post-op today, and things are fine, as I expected. I then went to the health center and got medication for my rash, and it helped even after only one use which was awesome. They wanted to set me up with NYU's dermatologist, but I decided to wait and see if this steroid cream takes care of it, which it seems to be, so yay.

Drained

Thought I would update. I still don't have total feeling back in my left hand, so it will be short because this is hard.

I haven't done anything except sleep and ice my shoulder and watch TV since Tuesday. I'm bored and lonely. Thank God for the church friends who have stopped by for a few minutes.

The Percocet has terribly messed up my stomach. This is why I asked for Vicodin.

Having my arm strapped to me is very inconvenient.

The sling has given me a rash.

But other than that, I think I'm where I'm supposed to be.

I'm very drained, but hopefully that will get better soon.

Football football football.

Even when you have surgery on a very small, confined area, it seems to drain the energy out of your entire body. At least it does for me.

So today, I basically lived in my recliner again and watched football game after football game after football game.

And it was awesome.

I love football.

I didn't even know how football worked until Holly joined the NC State marching band, so my how things change.

I also happen to be a really big fan of my recliner.

And sometimes you hate pain meds.

So if stomach issues are TMI for you, stop reading.

I got hungry about 2 am this morning, so Holly heated me up the end of the pizza.

About 30 minutes after that, I started violently puking because my stomach got backed up.

This is why I asked the hospital for Vicodin instead of Percocet, but they insisted on giving me Percocet anyway and I was too out of it to fight them.

My stomach got cleaned out temporarily, but I'm gonna definitely need meds to make sure what happened this morning does not happen again.

Because that. was. awful.

On the upside, I got to see Betsy who brought me a delicious homemade pasta dish.

Always good enough for TGIT.

What's better when you're in pain and recovering from surgery than good television?

And there is no good television like the trio of Grey's Anatomy, Scandal, and How to Get Away With Murder.

Justin brought me pizza. I watched a lot of television. And I slept.

That's about all you can ask for.

My church fam is awesome.

This night, Cathy, Awilda, and Ken came over and brought me fried chicken.

It was delicious.

I don't remember much else about today because, as you can imagine, it involved a lot of sleeping and pain meds and ice and not much else.

I am fine.

Thought you should know.

Short on answers, not love.

So um, yeah. Unless some miracle happens and Mom or I find someone who would be willing and qualify to cosign my student loan for the spring, it looks like I'll be taking a semester off. I found a private loan place that I think can help me next year provided I get a job after I get back from Christmas break in NC, but that does no good for me in terms of the spring semester. It's the last thing I want in regards to this program, but I'm running out of options. I called every private loan place NYU sent me numbers for. But I'll talk about that some other time because if I do it now, I'm going to start crying again, and I sobbed for like two straight hours this afternoon, so I'm emotionally drained.

In other news, it's finally the day before surgery!!! Hallelujah and PRAISE JESUS. I am so ready for tomorrow, I can't even tell you.

But y'all know me. How many surgeries have I been through in the almost six years since I started this blog? (Holy cow. It'll be six years in February.) I always get nervous the night before. I don't know why, other than surgeries are scary no matter how many times you go through the whole process. Which is why I want to talk about the good things in my day today: Pastor Ben/my church family, Clayton and Austin.

Pastor Ben set up a meal page so people from church can bring me food or have it delivered while I'm down and out recovering in the apartment, mostly by myself since the roommate will be in class or the library a lot and Holly works so much. How sweet is that? I hope people sign up, because it's going to be hard to make myself food, at least in this first week until my post-op appointment.

Clayton FaceTimed me for about 45 minutes tonight, and for once I got to help him instead of just him helping me (like it usually is, honestly). I don't know that I'd be who I am or where I am without his guidance and friendship and I am so lucky that we can talk about the deep stuff and pray for each other just as easily as we can laugh together. God's presence always feels very real to me when I leave our conversations. I love how that whole "where two or more are gathered" thing even works over FaceTime. :)

And Austin. Oh Austin. He can be so scatterbrained sometimes, but he called me just before midnight (as I was chowing down on some crackers and water before I had to go NPO at midnight) and there's just something about who he is as a person and friend that makes me feel so much more calm. The title of tonight's post actually comes from my conversation with him, because he said that if he could do or say something to fix my school funding issues, he would in a heartbeat, and I replied, "Oh I know. I have several people who would do it in a heartbeat. I'm not short on love, just short on answers." Which is very true. I am quite loved, and no matter how hopeless certain situations can seem, that is always something to be thankful for. I can't wait to see Austin in January.

So yeah, tonight, despite the awful afternoon and the stress weighing on me, I'm choosing to focus on the love I know is out there for me, even from hundreds of miles away. That's a blessing from God, no matter what else is going on.

Oh, and I also need to focus on my response paper. I have to get that in before I leave for the hospital. The work, it never ends. :p