Make it stop!

Make the itching stop!
The bottom of my foot is itching so badly and I can't scratch it!
Worst.
Feeling.
Ever.

In other news, I looked up the word "awkward" in Google Translator.
Spanish = torpe
French = maladroit
German = ungeschickt
Italian = scomodo
There, now you can say "awkward" in 5 different languages.

That's about it. I've been dizzy, nauseous, and overheated for most of the day, afraid I was going to pass out (but luckily I didn't!), even though I've eaten plenty today, so I've spent pretty much all day in bed. And Mom is exhausted and not feeling well, either, so the house has been nice and quiet. Lovely.

I gotta eat something to take another pain pill, and then I think I'm going back to bed. :)

Madre and I

We are quite the pair.
Especially when Chelsea leaves.
Mom = weak.
Me = crippled.
So my grandma was here pretty much all day taking care of us.
The downside is that my grandma tends to get overbearing when someone's sick or hurt.
The upside is that she made us a freakin amazing dinner.

You know what's awesome about this surgery (and the one coming in July)?
Even though I have a cast, I have a waterproof cast cover so I can still shower.
First surgery in quite some time where I haven't had to get sponge baths from Mom.
In how many different languages can you say AWKWARD?
:)

I think Mom is finally breaking down and agreeing to take me to the doctor this week about this never-ending period.
Hallelujah. Because this is just getting old.

Happy Memorial Day Weekend to everyone! :)

Girl Talk and Some Venting

Okay, first off, if talk of a girl's period bothers you, just go ahead and skip this paragraph...I am so freaking tired of my period. Three years ago, I went on the 4-periods-a-year birth control because I was having spine surgery in September, and my doctor didn't want me to have to worry about my period while I was recovering from it. For a while, it was great. But lately, it hasn't been doing crap. Like this quarter, for example. I started bleeding 3 weeks ago, basically the day I left Campbell. Guess what? I'm still bleeding. And next week is the week I'm actually supposed to have my period. Not to mention I basically have to make a diaper out of pads to keep from ruining all my underwear. This. freaking. sucks.

Second of all, today I've really been fighting the urge to punch Chelsea in the face. She has got to be the most selfish person on the planet. Mom comes home from the hospital today, and basically the first thing Chelsea asks is "So can I go out tonight? I'll take Blake with me." SERIOUSLY?! Anybody with half a brain could figure out that Mom is in massive pain and can barely move without crying, and I can't exactly take care of her by myself, and yet it's all about Chelsea. And when Mom said no, she turned into evil bitch Chelsea, which has made this whole evening suck majorly.

Oh, and you wanna hear something freaking fantastic? Apparently, she's getting married in July. To the guy she told me two weeks ago she doesn't even have feelings for. And he wants another baby. He's deploying in November and apparently wants to start trying in August so that she can be pregnant while he's gone, and then he'll be back for the birth. Heaven help us.

Actually, heaven help him. Because he has no freaking clue what he's getting himself into. He doesn't see the Chelsea who's perfectly content living in utter filth. The Chelsea who can't even put dirty diapers and wipes into the Diaper Genie that's right next to the changing table. The Chelsea who puts holes in walls and throws things when she gets mad. The Chelsea who can't do anything for anyone else unless she gets something out of it. Yeah, if by some microscopic chance they do actually get married, I predict this guy will be out of sight faster than you can say hasta la vista.

Is this harsh of me? Yes. But it's realistic.

Pray for my mom. She's in massive pain, and the hospital doctors sent her home without pain meds. And she can't take any of mine because I took the last of her Phenergan, and she's afraid to take narcotics without Phenergan because she'll get sick to her stomach, and if she throws up she could bust the incision where they did the catheterization yesterday and bleed out. (That was a really long sentence.) And she has to deal with my psycho sister.

There's just a lot going on here right now.

I have to get better about this.

When Chelsea doesn't take her medicine (which is really about 50% of the time), she has two different personalities.
She's either evil, I'm going to make you as miserable as possible Chelsea
or 4-year-old, I can't stop talking to you because I need attention no matter how annoyed you are Chelsea.
I should be used to this. It's always been this way.
And as much as I've been trying to work on my temper, I couldn't get past how annoying she was being today.
Granted, it was after I asked her about 50 times to please just leave me alone, and she wouldn't have been this way if she had taken her medicine on time yesterday, but still.
I have to be nicer to her, no matter how annoying she gets.
Because she's my sister.
And she's taking excellent care of me (since she is getting paid for it).
At least I'm trying, right?

On the plus side, I did get to spend a lot of time snuggling with Blake today, and that makes everything okay! :) Ah, I love that boy so much. It's crazy. Considering how strongly I feel for him, and he's not even mine, I can't imagine how I'll feel once I have my own kids. :)

Okay, good night. Mommom is coming to pick me up at 9:45 so we can go to the hospital to be with Mom, so I gotta get some rest!

Good news about Mom!

They did another heart catheterization today, and everything is fine!
The doctors say she's just having bad spasms, which is very treatable.
She has to lie (lay? I suck at knowing which one to use) flat for like eight hours to make sure the artery closes/heals properly,
but this means she'll be able to come home tomorrow!
It's a darn good thing, too, because I'm about to beat my head against a wall.
Thanks for praying!

Blah blah blah.

SO.
TIRED.
Have done nothing but sleep, eat, and take pain meds today.
My cast itches SO BADLY.
It's driving me crazy.
Mom's still in the hospital.
I don't know anything new.
That is all.

Mom's back in the hospital.

She is having massive chest pain still, so she called her cardiologist and managed to get an appointment this afternoon.

I just talked to my grandma, and she said that my mom is staying overnight in the hospital. The doctor wants to run some more tests, and he gave her the option of going home or staying there, and since she's in so much pain she decided to stay there and get some pain meds.

Words can't express how scared I am right now, guys. I can't lose her. I just can't.

Please pray.

Lucky

As in...I am so lucky my mom didn't go to work today.

I had a seizure this afternoon, for the first time in a long time.

Also, I'm lucky she caught me, and I was sitting on the toilet so that I didn't fall and hit anything.

Not sure what the cause was. It might've been that I didn't eat enough while on pain meds. Which I didn't really realize I was doing.

I'm okay. I've just been really lethargic all afternoon since. I'd forgotten how weird this makes me feel afterwards.

So yeah. That's my day.

Things never change.

Chelsea has been gone with Blake since last Sunday.
Mom texted her tonight and said that if she didn't come home, Mom was getting a lawyer and filing for custody.
Today, Chelsea wasn't even at the friend's house she left with last weekend.
She left Blake with that friend and went out with bad people.
She will never change.
And she just arrived home, so things are about to go all to hell.
Pray for sanity for my mom and me, and safety for Blake.
We desperately need it.

Sigh.

I am an uncoordinated idiot.

Even though I know how crucial it is that I put absolutely NO weight on my left foot for the next six weeks,
I have now stumbled and fallen on my foot twice.
It hurts.
SO bad.
And my mom yelling about how she hopes I haven't screwed up the bone fusions isn't exactly helping.
Ain't it grand how parents can pick the worst situation possible to yell about when you already feel badly enough?
It's not like I'm doing this on purpose, or like it's fun for me!
It's not! It hurts like hell!
Gah.
Lord, help me to be safer and keep off this foot. Please.