March is here, which means basketball season is coming to a close and everyone is fighting to get into the national tournament. Considering the only chance that State has of getting in is if they pull off a miracle win of the conference tournament, I'm not quite as invested as I have been the past few years.
Besides, I'm dealing with my own March madness. It's basically the midpoint of the semester (Spring Break is next week) which means everything is moving faster than a roller coaster towards graduation in 71 days. All the assignments are piling on top of each other and I have to get my Master's thesis in top shape and I have to get it all done on time if I want to walk.
Which is why it's...unfortunate, to say the least, that my seizures are coming back hard. It makes sense, I suppose; you have stress-induced seizures, and of course they'll get exacerbated in your last semester of grad school when you also have an internship to worry about.
That doesn't make it easy to deal with. I don't have time for this. And it scares me that this could derail everything. It drains my energy every time I have a seizure, and I don't have time to waste. Plus, I injured my knee and ankle in the most recent one (Friday), and I'm on Vicodin which is making me even more exhausted than I usually am.
But fear gets me nowhere. The only option I have is to keep pushing forward and fighting like I have every day of my life. I can't give up now. Even though that would be the easy option. Because man, I am tired. So tired. And scared. And frustrated. And a million other negative things that can beat me if I let them.
(Side note: This is a perfect example of why I tell people t they're crazy when they start looking at me like I'm Superwoman. I don't have it all together. Not even close.)