I haven't been in the best mindset. I've been negative and just generally down and it's not good. I've been so caught up in what's going wrong in my life that I've forgotten to look for all the things that are going right. All the beautiful moments.
Like sitting outside and feeling the breeze blow my hair.
The feeling I still get sometimes when I think about how I actually get to live here.
Having finished my first year of grad school despite so many obstacles.
How I can't walk by Spiegel without at least two people giving me a hug.
Having dinner with one of my church friends.
All the people who text me just to check in.
Going to church on Sunday and being able to forget everything, even just for an hour.
How Holly runs errands for me and has been financially supporting me without complaining.
The fact that I'm beating all sorts of odds just by being alive, let alone having made it to grad school in New York City.
FaceTime dates with Clayton, and what a sweet picture of Jesus he is to me every time.
Austin and Emma always being just a text away.
One of the guys at Spiegel, Emmanuel, offering me a writing job to help him work on a website just because he knows I can write and I need money.
Christian or Eldar or Diallo giving me a hug and a kiss on the cheek as a hello and a goodbye or even when they just know I've had a bad day.
Mom sacrificing so much for me.
I am so terribly blessed. And I get so caught up in my problems and my fears that I forget that. I forget that way too easily. Lord, please help me to remember who You are and how much You've done, to have confidence in the knowledge that You, the King, loved me enough to die for me.
Here's hoping and praying for brighter days ahead, even if it's only in perspective. And that I would never lose sight of how many people LOVE me, too.