Rambling

I am so behind.

Only two midterms this week, but they're my hardest two, and I'm so absurdly behind in preparing for them.  I just don't feel good, and I haven't all weekend.  Which means I've gotten way less done than I should have.  Thankfully, for all the stuff not related to those two midterms, I'll be here Wednesday night all by myself (since my Raleigh appointment with Stacy is Thursday afternoon), so that will give me a chance to do work uninterrupted provided my head will cooperate.

But on the upside, I can't stop thinking about last night.  It was so simple, but it was one of my favorite nights in all of college. :)  I'm trying to convince Mom to bringing me back to school next Saturday night after the family reunion with my mom's family so I can be here for the boys' next home game and go to church the next morning.  We'll see how well it works.  If not, I know I'll definitely be around for the last 3, so not too shabby.  I'm praying that conference plays goes better for them than non-conference has.  I want this so badly for them.

Not only do I want to come back Saturday night for the soccer game, I honestly just want to spend as little time at home as possible.  Chelsea and I need to be around each other as little as possible. And Sunday would mean I'd be on full Blake duty because Mom has this deep need to clean the garage and Holly and Michael will be there to help and I just seriously can't take that, and it would mean getting back to campus super late considering what time I have to be up Monday mornings and I'd have to do laundry when I get back.  So my attempt at self-preservation (because going home never turns out well for me), of course, comes off to my mom as though I don't care about her birthday, because she was planning on having a big family dinner Sunday night (hence why I'd be getting back so late) to celebrate her birthday early, and it's not that I don't care, I just...want to take care of me for once.  Plus my sinuses and throat already feel like crap and going home just makes all that worse because of the dogs.

I hate that I hate being home...God needs to do a serious work in my heart if that's going to change.  The whole situation is exhausting.  And on top of all the school exhaustion and health exhaustion, I just can't handle anything else being added to it right now.