Wow.

Can't believe July is already over. 2010 is just flying by for me.

It also means that I move back into Campbell in 15 days!

And major praise: My uncle thinks Mom and I should be able to borrow his truck that day to move all my stuff. We've asked everybody we know if they had a truck we could borrow and everyone said no, so thankfully he said yes! (It's a long story, but we just really don't like asking for favors from him/my aunt.) I am so ready for school to start, it's not even funny. I just need something to do!

Oh, and I did see Matt today. :) He came over and we all just hung out and talked for almost 2 hours. That kid makes me laugh harder than pretty much anyone else I know. He's also the fastest talker I've ever met. It's so hard to keep up with him! :) Seeing him was the only remotely interesting thing about my day, so I will leave you with this.

*jazz hands!*

Can't Wait for Monday!

I know I said I had to be grateful for my cast, but seriously, this thing is driving me insane. Even after my mom put bandages where it was cutting my skin and leaving raw spots, it's still rubbing me the wrong way, and I have to deal with the tape itching me. Gah. When I see my doctor on Monday, I am going to beg and plead that he makes the new cast at least somewhat shorter because this really is just painful.

Speaking of my cast, you wanna know what is just a brilliant idea when you already have one ankle in a cast? Twist the other ankle! Really, it's possibly the best idea I've ever had. Ugh. In all seriousness, though, I rolled my ankle while scooting my way around Duke on Wednesday. It's made moving around all today really suck. I tell ya, I'm just a freakin' genius.

I get to hang out with Matt tomorrow! :) He was supposed to come over tonight, but I learned a long time ago that he's not exactly Mr. Reliability. So I'm still not getting my hopes up about tomorrow, even though he promised. :P We'll see. He always makes me happy, though. I think it's actually a good thing he didn't come over tonight, because I'm pretty darn tired already, and it's not even 11:00.

Speaking of being tired, good night! :)

This cast o' mine.

This cast o' mine is driving me nuts.  It itches.  It's cut my skin. It bruises my other leg because I'm an uncoordinated klutz.  It bruises my mom when I don't think and accidentally bang her with it.  But it's helping my foot and heel cord heal, so for that I must be grateful for this cast o' mine.

My mom is actually reading my Western Civ textbook that I picked up yesterday.  And people wonder where I get my "nerdiness" from. ;)

Weird, slightly gross but funny story for ya.  My dog Heidi has been in heat.  That, of course, is driving Charlie completely nutso.  Usually, because Charlie is about 15 pounds heavier than Heidi and she's a neurotic wreck, she submits to him and lets him hump her all the time.  Well, today, Heidi was standing at the gate in the kitchen, and Charlie came up behind and tried to mount her.  Instead of just taking it, Heidi spun around and growled.  Charlie backed off, and Heidi turned back to looking out through the gate.  Charlie tried to get on her again, and again she spun around like she was going to bite his head off.  This went on and on for like 5 minutes, until Charlie finally gave up and went and laid in his kennel.  Girl power!! :)

I love my bed.

Possibly more than a human should love an inanimate object.
But that's beside the point.

Today's appointment went smashingly.  My neurologist said that my CT looked great and I don't have to go back till next summer.  It was also one of the fastest Duke appointments I've had...like ever.  So yay for that.

We also went to Campbell today instead of yesterday because someone (*cough*Mom*cough) wouldn't get their butt out of bed in time to go before we had to be at Duke.  Oh well.  The important thing is that I have all my books for the fall semester and I won't have to worry about that once I get on campus in August.

So yesterday, after my CT at Duke, we went over to our hotel.  Holy cow! This Courtyard by Marriott had the most amazing beds.  It was like falling into a giant cotton ball, the mattresses were so soft and fluffy.  What I didn't know ahead of time about last night was that Holly and my "Aunt" Julie and "Uncle" Darryl were driving down from Raleigh and Greensboro to have dinner with us.  (And aunt and uncle are in quotes because they aren't actually my aunt and uncle.  Julie has been my mom's best friend since they were in middle school, so they're like family.)  Yay!  But come on, once they arrived, their real motives became crystal clear.  Dinner schminner.  All they wanted was to see Blake. ;)  Really, though, I can hardly blame them.  I mean, have you SEEN that face?! :D  Holly hung out with us in our hotel room till about 11 before she got tired and headed out.

This morning, I tried Biscuitville for the first time.  It was the only drive-thru place we could find nearby.  Mom said that Biscuitville was my dad's favorite place, which shocked me considering how much I've always known he loved Bojangles.  It was good, though.

I do have one complaint about this quick "trip," though.  OH. MY. GOSH. It was so freaking HOT!!!!  Especially this afternoon when I was at Campbell.  I was literally soaked the entire time.  (And poor Mom, she had to be even worse off, having to help me and take care of Blake.)  See, people, this is why I don't like leaving the house during the summer.

So yeah, that's about it.  We got home just after 5:30 today and I basically haven't left my bed since.  Did I mention I love this thing?!?! :)

Off to Duke

(I'm writing this in advance because Tuesday morning is surely going to be crazy.)

By the time you all read this, I will be in the car with Mom and Blake on the way to Durham. I have a CT scan this (Tuesday) afternoon, and a checkup with my neurologist tomorrow.

We're also stopping by Campbell on the way to pick up my Fall semester books because my CT appointment isn't till 3:30, and I'll still be on my scooter when I get to school in August, so it will be nearly impossible for me to get my books by myself.

Now, I won't lie. I'm scared. The last "checkup" I had with my neurologist was last August, when I found out my shunt was failing and had the first of six emergency brain surgeries.

The rational part of me knows that there's no reason for me to be scared, that those surgeries fixed all the problems with my shunt, and that this is just routine. But then the worrywart part of me thinks "I thought that appointment last August was just routine! And my life is never that simple."

Gah. This is just Satan picking at my biggest fear - facing yet another medical problem. I know that. But still, if you guys could be praying that I'm not faced with any bad news, and that everything goes smoothly, I'd really appreciate it. I'm not bringing my computer with me, so I'll update Wednesday night when I get home.

Love you all. I hope you know that.

Nothing

Really, there's like nothing to comment on.
My day has consisted of sleeping, eating, watching TV, and sleeping some more.
Yay for narcotics, huh?
Mom's been in quite the weird mood today, very snappy, but nothing too out of the ordinary.
So there's really nothing to say today.
My foot's in massive pain, and so I'm worried about how I'm going to do when I run out of meds.
I guess we'll find out, won't we?

Halfway There

So...I know I said I would post these pictures yesterday, but I totally forgot amidst the seriously painful muscle spasms and aches I was having. I figured y'all wouldn't mind if I posted them today.

Yes, this is a picture I posted here in January, but it's the only clear picture I have of what my feet looked like before the surgeries.  As you can see, they were bad. 

Pretty incredible, huh?  The thing is, I didn't realize how swollen my foot still was till I looked at the photos we took on Thursday.  Forgive the dead skin still on my heel.  I'm trying not to take too much off at once to keep the skin from getting raw. 

I am so excited about the progress that's been made.  My next appointment is August 2nd, where I'll get this cast off, some x-rays taken, and a new cast put on.  I hope the new cast is just a little bit shorter because when I'm on my scooter it digs into my thigh and burns, and it's hard to get my cast cover all the way over it for showers.  Speaking of showers, I took one tonight, and it felt fantastic. :)

It's going to be so amazing to be able to walk around like a normal person and not be in excruciating pain just trying to get through the day.  At school this spring, it was all I could do to go to classes, get food, and get back to my room.  As much as recovery sucks, I am so grateful for modern medicine.  :)

Miserable

That's me.
I'm not trying to be all Negative Nancy on you, I'm just being real.
It's amazing how quickly your body can forget how much post-surgical pain sucks.
And I'm not talking about pain just right around the incision site - that pain is a given.
What really sucks is the fact that every single muscle in my body hurts. Like my neck (especiallly my neck!), my back, my stomach when I try to move, my arms,...oh, you get the picture.
*sigh* Just all part of the process, I guess.
And I keep trying to remind myself that the two days after the day of surgery are the worst, and then it gets better.
I'm just hoping tomorrow isn't any worse than today, because then I might cry.

Yay for no complications!

With the surgery, at least. :) The surgery went off smashingly. Dr. Pupp said he thought it went even better than my left foot. And he put three knicks in my heel cord to stretch it some. Given that, there is extra pain, but the pain is just kind of expected. ;)

The only thing that went wrong is that it took four tries to get an IV in. OUCH. The nurse first tried in my left wrist, and she thought she got it in, and then it moved or something. Then, she got an anesthesiologist, and that lady tried in both hands, but both times the veins rolled. So finally she gave up on my arms and she and the other anesthesiologist in the room decided they could put one in my left foot, because I apparently have huge veins there. What made it awesome, especially after three bad sticks, was that she gave me a shot of numbing medicine and after that, I didn't feel anything as she put in the IV. No pressure, no pinching, nothing. It was quite a relief, because the first three tries really, really hurt.

So yeah, we got home just before 9:00. Yay for not having to stay overnight! And yay for general anesthesia. Apparently sedation is just not strong enough for me, so my doc decided that he was not going to go through the hell I gave him last surgery when I was just sedated, so the plan for general anesthesia was set up weeks ago.

This cast goes all the way up to my knee, instead of just above my ankle like last time because of the work he did on my heel cord. It makes using my scooter a bit more difficult, but oh well, I'll figure out a way to get used to it. :)

Tomorrow, I'm gonna post a picture of what my feet looked like before neither one were fixed, and a picture we took on Thursday with the left one fixed. It's pretty awesome.

Surgery tomorrow!

I never ever thought I'd be so excited about surgery. :) We have to be there at 1:30, so my surgery probably won't be till 3:30. Not being able to eat is gonna suck, but oh well, I always deal. :) They're doing everything they did last time, plus stretching my heel cord to hopefully give me some more mobility because it is super tight.

Speaking of eating, we had frog legs for dinner tonight! Oh my gosh, there's only one restaurant that I've ever had them at, and I've never seen them in a store, but my grandma found them in a seafood shop. She and I both love them. Mom thinks they're gross. ;) It was a perfect "last meal."

Oh, and that paper for my surgery I told you about? The copy T faxed did go through. J's just a jerk. Even the nurse there in the office thinks she hates most of the people that go there and likes to make things difficult for the people she knows don't like her. Makes you wonder why she's a receptionist, huh? But anyway, T faxed over another copy today and J wasn't there, thank heavens, so the nurse C got it and got my doctor to fill it out. Matt came over for a bit today, and he drove me down there to get it. I was majorly relieved about that.

So yeah...that's about it. They're doing general anesthesia this time, since I had such a problem with the sedation last time, so (hopefully) nothing should go wrong to make me have to stay over. So as long as I come home tomorrow evening, I will update then. Either way, I'll update as soon as I possibly can. Thank you for praying for me!

Argh.

So first off, I've been asked not to blog about Chelsea's situation anymore, at least for a while, which is why I went back and deleted the part of the first post with the details. I apologize, but thank you for your prayers.

Second, my primary doctor's office is so darn frustrating! Last Thursday, my surgeon's receptionist, T, gave me a piece of paper that my primary doc needed to sign saying that I was cleared for surgery. Well, when I went to the hospital for pre-op, the people there must've accidentally taken it because on Friday, when I went to get it to take it to my doctor, it wasn't there. So I called the foot doctor again and they said they'd fax over a new copy. Well, I called my primary doc on Monday and her receptionist, J, said they hadn't gotten anything. I called T again and she said she even had the confirmation code or whatever saying it had gone through. Which means that she didn't put my name on it so J threw it out. So T said if I just got my doctor to write a note saying I was physically cleared for surgery and sign it, that would do. So I called J back again and told her that. (And remember, this is all still on Monday!) I called J again today, and she still hasn't done. Like seriously, how hard is it to take two minutes to write a quick little note? I've seen my doctor working before. She has time. Even if it's right when the office closes. This is important! And it took them till the day of surgery last time to get the paper filled out. I've tried to explain to J that if I don't bring this with me to the hospital on Friday, that they will move my surgery. And she's still acting like it is no big deal! So tomorrow, I'm sicking Mom on them. ;)

Ah, sorry, that was a really long paragraph. I just had to vent.

Good news, though! My stomach is totally fine today. I don't know what was up yesterday. I didn't eat anything out of the ordinary. Oh well.

Ugh, not NOW.

All day today, I've had a terrible stomachache.
I'll just let you imagine what that entails, but let's just say it's not good.
What makes it worse is that it's THREE days before my surgery!
If I'm sick on Thursday, they'll move it to next Friday.
That really can't happen because it won't give me enough time to get off the narcotics before moving back to school.
Plus I think I'm PMSing or something, and have been arguing with Mom on and off all day and night, so I'm just in a fantastic mood.
Here's to hoping I'll feel better when I wake up in the morning.

MIRACLE on a Monday

So...
You all know about how my mom wasn't getting paid this summer because she missed so much work being out with me last fall.
And how my grandmother has had to pay our bills...
Well, we got the most amazing surprise today.
Like, I don't remember ever having such a blatant gift from God.

Mom got a call today from a lady at our church. She asked my mom if she had ever received a check last November, because they sent us one from the Pastor's Discretionary Fund to help with my medical bills, and it never cleared the bank. Mom said she didn't remember ever getting one, and asked how much it was for.

Here's the super awesome part.  That check?  It was worth

FIFTEEN HUNDRED DOLLARS.

No joke.

That will cover the bills for next month, before my mom gets a paycheck on August 31st.  Which is a huge relief to my grandmother because she's worried about her own money situation.

God is so amazing.
so.
unbelievably.
AMAZING.

And you know, it was definitely not a mistake on anyone's part that we didn't get that check in November.  Not a mistake at all....

Not Much to Say

Nothing's really changed.
I went with my grandma to lunch today and she bought me a new pair of really nice tennis shoes because the ones I had were formed to my messed up feet. And now I have a fixed left foot! :D
Other than that, I've just played with Blake and watched a lot of TV with Mom. It's been good.
Now, it's just about bedtime, I think.
And I'm wheezing, which is weird and came out of nowhere.
Oh well.
Good night.

Reader's Digest Version

I know most of my blog posts lately seem like the Reader's Digest Version of life, but today especially, you'll just have to forgive me.
Basically, it went from bad to very, very bad very, very quickly.
Pray for Chelsea to FINALLY get help.
Pray for Blake's safety.
Pray for my mom's sanity and strength.
Pray for my strength.
I am so emotionally spent, it's unreal. This is all I've got in me tonight.

Peaceful

Today was rather peaceful.
Mom and I pretty much just hung out in her bed all day talking and sleeping.
The only frustrating thing is that she might not go to Boone tomorrow because she's afraid of all the chaos that will happen while she's 6 hours away and can't do anything about it.
But we'll see.

One Month

One more month of summer. One more month that I am stuck in the middle of this incessant drama with no way out and nothing I can do to help.

Chelsea left. Again.

Amazingly enough, Mom put her foot down yesterday and said basically that if she couldn't stop being a complete b*tch to the two of us for no reason whatsoever, then she could leave. And that if she left, she wasn't coming back. Well, Chelsea left with Betty Jo, the girl she was living with before.

But, of course, you and I both know that doesn't mean the drama is over. Oooohhhhh no.

Tonight, Chelsea got Betty Jo to take her to the hospital in Jacksonville (where they live) claiming she had appendicitis. So Betty Jo dropped her and Blake off there, despite the fact that she knows babies & ERs are dangerous.

Well later, Chelsea called her friend Katie, who lives up the street from us here in Swansboro, asking her to come get the baby. Katie drives all the way there, a good 30 minute drive, and Chelsea just says "Let's go! I'm never going to be seen. Take me back to Betty Jo's."

She doesn't have appendicitis. Anyone with a little common sense would know that if she did, she'd be a heck of a lot sicker a heck of a long time before now. She just thrives on drama, creating it and living in it. No matter how many people it hurts in the process. Sometimes I wonder if she has the ability to even feel real human emotions, because most of the time she doesn't act like it. I'm just done. I am so done. I can't take it anymore.

All I can say is thank God Matt talked me down from the fuming point I was at last night. I don't remember the last time I was that angry. She brings out a side of me I absolutely hate, one that only she brings out. Even Matt told me that he didn't understand how I could ever not be a good, nice person because with everyone else, I pretty much am no matter what. But with her...I just don't know. My energy is spent. At this point, I feel like I don't have any other choice but to give up because, frankly, this is killing me.

Hell

I feel like I'm in hell.
I've spoken before about how I didn't think it was possible to actually not love your own sister...
Well, now I know for a fact that it is.
That's all I can even say right now because it's still going on.
Just pray.
Please.
I don't know how much more I can take of this crap.

Terrible day.

I had a horrible headache yesterday, which meant I slept a lot.
The last time I woke up was 8 pm yesterday evening.
I haven't slept since.
NOT.
COOL.

And today I completely fell off my scooter and landed on my unprotected left foot.
ALSO.
NOT.
COOL.
Mom basically acted like she couldn't give a crap because OMG THE BABY! The weirder thing about it is the fact that Chelsea was really attentive to me, despite not having a cigarette all day, something that usually makes her super ornery and difficult to be around.

So yeah. That's about my day. I'm trying to stay up at least one more hour because I'm worried that if I fall asleep any sooner, I'll wake up at 3 in the morning and the cycle will start all over again. But it's getting really hard. I also didn't even start to feel tired till like 3 this afternoon, which is unusual for me. Usually I will start to feel it much sooner.

I apologize in advance for this being very jumbled. 'Tis very hard to keep my eyes open.

Good....

night.......

Doing Better

Aside from the extremely rude comment my mom made to me, today's been a really good day overall. I'm walking more, and it doesn't hurt as bad when I do.

My only problem is that I couldn't stay awake for some reason. I guess it's the fact that I didn't have soccer games to stay awake for. ;)

Thursday, I have to go back to Wilmington for another checkup and pre-op for the surgery next Friday. Mom is leaving either Friday afternoon or Saturday for a Holocast symposium in Boone. It's like a 6 hour drive so she might split up the drive and stay at her friend's house Friday night, because she doesn't have to be there till Saturday, but she doesn't know yet. She'll get back super late next Thursday night, but thankfully my surgery is supposed to be late afternoon the day after. And Chelsea is staying with a friend the entire time Mom is gone, because we don't do well when left alone for extended periods of time.

Ugh...can't stop sweating. Don't know why, since the air hasn't changed. Not fun. Good night. :)

Stressed

Shocking, huh?

Since I'm only trying to make my foot strong enough to have my other foot operated on in twelve days and live with two people who can't stop screaming at each other.

The foot's doing fair, I guess.  I'm just stressed about it not being 100% by next Friday.  But it'll have to be.

However, if you could be praying about both of these things, I'd really appreciate it.

Now, I'm gonna go take a shower and see if that will help me relax some.

Yay Germany!

I'm proud of my ancestral homeland for beating Uruguay (or as the commentators call it - Oo-roo-gweye!) in the third place match today. :)

Tomorrow - the final. Netherlands versus Spain. Neither have won the Cup before, but Netherlands has been in the finals twice before and Spain has never been this far. I'm kind of leaning towards rooting for Spain. How could I not with faces like this?

That would be forward David Villa, goalkeeper/captain Iker Casillas, and midfielder Jesús Navas.  Let's face it...the Dutch just aren't nearly this cute. :)  Jesús is Mom's World Cup boyfriend. ;)

Now, if you'll excuse me...I'm watching Legally Blonde 2. :)

Spinning

As in, my head is spinning from all the back and forth going on with the situation with Chelsea.

One minute, she's moving back in.
The next, she's moving in with her "fiancé".
The next, she's moving back in.
The next, she's moving in with a (mature! responsible!) friend.
As of now, she is moving back in.

I can't keep up. So if you were wondering why I haven't told you what's going on with her, it's because 99% of the time, I don't even know.

In other news, I'm trying to make myself walk some, like I was told to do, and it. really. freaking. hurts! Other than one time, all I've been able to do is take a couple of steps. The one time I did do more than that, I was walking from the kitchen table to Chelsea's door (like 20 feet) and did this weird dance after a few steps because the rolled ends of the walking boot completely threw me off balance. Ah, well, it gave my mom a good laugh. ;)

Also, my foot is looking awesome. It already looks like, well, like a foot, as opposed to "a creature from the Blue Lagoon" (as my mom said). And the incision is healing very well. I just have a few extra scabs from the staple holes. So I'm happy.

Revelations

Revelation #1: If you put your foot in a cast for 7 weeks, your foot will come out with dead skin about an inch thick and toenails that could "be used as a can opener" (as my mom put it).

Talk about gross.

The good news is that with a good 40 minute soaking, a good scrub in the shower, and some baby oil, it's already almost back to normal.

Revelation #2: If you don't walk on your foot for 7 weeks, it will hurt like crazy when you finally do. Most of the pain is in my heel cord. I feel a little stupid for not expecting that. Even with this massive walking boot. And the bottom of the boot rolls on the ends, so it's very awkward.

Surgery #2 is officially set for July 23rd, which means I've got two weeks to get back to normal. Ah well, it has to be done. And I'll be under general anesthesia, instead of sedation like last time because I had such a problem with it.

It's been a long day. After my appointment, we got some Hardees chicken tenders (amazing!), went to see my Grandma Frances, stopped by Toys R Us and got this toy for Blake, and went to Sam's. Plus, my appointment was at 12:30 and we didn't even get called back till 2:00, so that sucked, but expected with him. At least I had my iPod. :)

Or not.

Chelsea's not living with us.
It's a very long story.
One I'm far too tired to get into tonight for one, because I woke up at 6 am and haven't slept since, and also because I feel sick.
So I'm going to bed.
Details tomorrow.
One last thing...

I GET MY CAST OFF TOMORROW!!!!! :D

39 days

That's approximately how long I'll have to live with Chelsea till the new semester starts.
Of course, that's assuming she doesn't move out again.
As you can probably infer, I'm absolutely filled with dread about this entire thing.
But what can I do?
Blake needs to be here, and Blake needs his mother.
The thing I'm most worried about is that my mom is going out of town from the 17th to the 22nd.
At least I won't have a cast on so I won't have to listen to Chelsea whine about how I can't do anything.
And my grandma is only a phone call away and will save me if things get too horrible.
Ugh.
I guess...all I can do is take it one day at a time.

Where does the time go?

My little Blake man is FOUR months old today! That's crazy!!

So duh, DSS was closed today for the holiday, so Mom is getting Chelsea tomorrow. At least I had one more day of peace.

My mouth and jaw are finally starting to feel a little better. I guess that means the antibiotic is working. As painful and gross as it is, I just have to keep flossing to get the infection out.

The World Cup semifinals are tomorrow and Wednesday. I'm rooting for the Netherlands and Spain.

And best of all...I get my cast off on Thursday! Oh, I can not wait to scrub my foot. :)

G'night.

Stupid

Stupid infection.
My mom looked in my mouth and realized that was the cause of all my problems.
Ugh. This is so not fun to deal with.
It's got all the lymph nodes down the left side of my throat swollen,
and has given me a killer headache.
But I'm on 2000 mg of Amoxicillin a day, so we're hoping it clears up soon.

Stupid sister drama.
Chelsea's moving back in. Of course.
But considering she's being a total jerk to my mom already and that's just in text message conversations, there's no reason to think that things will be the slightest bit good.

Happy 4th of July! If you'll excuse me, I'm going to go ice my face.

OW. Just ow.

I woke up this morning and the space right behind my back tooth on the left side of my lower gum hurt. I figured I just had a piece of food stuck back there or something, so I tried flossing. A couple times, actually.

That just made it angry.

The pain's been getting worse all day. Now the pain is into and has spread all over my lower jaw and the bone that connects my two jaws (Fun fact: I broke that bone in 7th grade). I can't chew. I can't close my mouth. It sucks.

I got so desperate earlier today that I had my mom put some of Blake's Orajel for his teething on it. At least that gave me a few hours of numbness once I got over the nasty nasty taste. Baby Orajel, people. That's how desperate I was.

Mom says if the pain isn't better by Monday, she's calling my doctor. Because this is not. fun.

Man, I'm tired.

Longest day I've had in quite some time.
Got up at 10:15.
Ate a bagel and got ready.
Helped Mom with Blake.
Left at 11:45.
Met Ms. Rachel in New Bern for lunch.
Went to WalMart.
Went by the Craven County Board of Education.
Went to a colleague of my mom's house to drop off some soup for another teacher who's in Duke.
Went to Ms. Rachel's apartment and hung out for a couple hours. (I finally got to meet her daughter Hannah!)
Came back to Swansboro.
Went to Walgreens.
Picked up chicken tenders from Hardees. (Yum!)
Came home.
Ate dinner.
Watched the two World Cup games we missed.
Brazil AND Ghana knocked out in one day...can you say AWESOME?!
And now...here I am.
Exhausted.
Good night!

COHEN

http://www.inthiswonderfullife.com/

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