There's nothing quite like Rivalry Week.

It's what I look forward to most in college football season, taking on the UNCheat Tarholes Tarheels. There is no team that most State fans hate more. Plus, being the last home game of the season, it was Senior Day, and we had to say goodbye to the best class this program has seen in ages. That was pretty bittersweet. This almost made up for it, though.

Yes, sir. We beat our arch rivals in what turned out to be a very weird, very tense, very messy game. But hey, a win's a win! While we didn't meet expectation this season, this was our Coach's best record in his tenure here. PLUS, it's the first time we've gotten six conference wins since 1994. Yeah, I know.

Celebrating the win didn't take away the frustration of losing twenty extremely talented men, but I know most of them have careers in the NFL waiting for them. I was in an especially cheesy and sentimental mode, so I created an Instagram post just for all of them.

#1 Jaylen "JaySam" Samuels TE/Hybrid

#48 Cole Cook (C) TE

#50 Tony Adams (C) OG

#27 Dakwa Nichols RB

#9 Bradley Chubb (C) DE

#27 Justin Jones DT

#98 BJ Hill DT

#35 Kentavius Street DE

#85 JuMichael Ramos WR

#6 Gavin Locklear WR

#4 Jerod Fernandez LB

#58 Airius Moore (C) LB

#2 Mike Stevens CB

#5 Johnathan Alston CB

#26 Nicholas Lacy CB

#24 Shawn Boone S

#64 Peter Daniel OT

#79 Ben Kaiser OL

#44 Bryan Smith DE

#54 Davion Allred DE

A D-Line who garnered national attention (rightfully so). LBs who made so many important plays, you usually couldn't count them all. A secondary that never stopped fighting to get better, even when the crowd was against them. WRs and a RB who fought through life-changing injuries to come back even stronger. A TE and OG who were the unsung heroes and leaders of the team. Walk-ons who earned scholarships. Scout team members who worked hard and selflessly every day to make sure the starters were ready for battle. And a hybrid, jack of all trades, all-purpose king of the field who defied all explanation. That's a lot of really special guys to lose all at once. Ask anyone; this class changed the culture of the program. The good news is that once you're part of the Wolfpack, you're always part of the Wolfpack, so Wolfpack Nation can cheer a lot of these guys on on Sundays.

I also added a picture for my favorite player, junior Nyheim Hines, who had two major touchdowns, 48 and 54 yards, had his personal record (by a LOT), and crossed the 1,000 rushing yards threshold for the season. And he did all of this after getting back on the field just one day after being cleared from concussion protocol. He's a BEAST.

These 20 guys are one of the most impact classes our program has ever seen. Wolfpack Football will never be the same. It was so important to everyone, team and fans alike, that they be sent out on a high note. They deserve every ounce of love, adoration, and respect they're getting.

Thanks for the memories, boys.

The past few days.

You know your life is kind of sad when you are as excited to go to the doctor as I was to go to the neurosurgeon on Thursday.

Too bad nothing good really came of it.

The doc was irritated because my neurologist sent me to him before doing all the tests he could have done, and I didn't have all my records from Duke and my brain surgeries, because no one told me I needed to bring them. He needs to run a bunch of other tests plus get all the records from Duke before he can tell me anything. So I have to a) get Duke to fax him all my records, b) get Duke to mail me CDs of all my scans to bring to my next appointment, c) get a bunch of labs, d) get a shunt series (X-rays), and e) get checked out by a neuro-ophthamologist. I talked to my old neurosurgeon from Duke's office yesterday, and they emailed me a release form that I can print out, fill out, scan, and email back to them, so I've got to talk to my uncle tomorrow since he's bringing me meds anyway. I'll get the labs done next Monday the 25th at my primary care. The shunt series can be done as a walk-in next time I go down to see this doc. They sent the referral to the neuro-ophthamologist who will call me to make an appointment. Hopefully the fact that I don't have vision insurance won''t prevent me from being seen. Also, usually when a shunt is infected, there is redness around it, but there's not around mine, so that's a good sign; however, he's very concerned about how sensitive I am to touch on my head, so he "hopes it comes together quickly," because it's not a good sign that I can't stand for my head to be touched. If the labs and X-rays don't show anything, all he can do is tap my shunt, which he really doesn't want to do because of my history of meningitis (Duke docs are pretty sure I got meningitis thanks to them tapping my shunt when the valve broke). Meanwhile, I get to spend another month or so in constant, unexplainable, excruciating pain.

So...that's fun.

Yesterday, Mom and Mommom left for 10 days in Pennsylvania. I was going to go, but decided that I'd rather have 10 days to myself and hopefully be able to get some job applications done. (So far, that's been a no go thanks to my freakin head.) The silence is weird, but refreshing. My aunt and uncle are leaving on Tuesday, so then it'll just be me and Chelsea in town, but I don't even have to see or talk to her every day, so it's no big deal.

Today, I woke up feeling pretty good (well, pretty good for me, anyway) so I thought that after my afternoon of sports, I'd be good to get some work done. Ha! Guess again. As soon as the last game I cared about was over, my head felt so explosively painful I couldn't do anything but sleep. I can still barely turn my head. On the upside, the Wolfpack won, so there's something, I guess.

Sigh. I'm so tired of feeling like shit.

Here's hoping tomorrow is better. Hope for the best, prepare for the worst. Story of my life.

A lot of soccer this weekend. And a lot of driving.

And a LOT of time with my grandmother.

Brianna's college soccer team was playing at Duke today. That's 6-6.5 hours round trip. Mom didn't go.

And they're playing at William & Mary in Virginia on Sunday. That's probably going to be 9 hours round trip. And Mom's not planning on going to this game either.

Which means I have ALL that time in the car with my grandmother by myself listening to her bitch about every. little. thing for a total of four hours of soccer and maybe one hour total of actually seeing Brianna play.

And I don't have a phone battery that lasts me long enough for either of these trips, or a portable phone charger.

The upside, though, is that the Campbell boys are also playing today and Sunday, and I can stream their games in the car on the way home on my grandma's tablet.

I hope I at least get some good sleep tonight and tomorrow, because I slept like crap last night, and I know that definitely didn't help matters.

Lord, help me.

Get your red on!

Well, July is officially over, which means I only have to survive one more month of brutally hot summer, then the best season of all arrives.

FOOTBALL SEASON!!!!

Insert all the praise hands here.

The Wolfpack started preseason camp Friday, so I am already HYPED UP for what is looking to be a good season. I know, I know, don't get caught up in the hype. State is spectacular at being a letdown. But this is the best group of players we've had in recent memory and the highest preseason standing we've had in a long damn time, so I say it's not getting caught up in the hype, it's having faith that this season is going to be one to remember. :)

I mean here's what we're dealing with.

4-1/4 returning starters on the offensive line (1/4 because one of the guys started 3 of the games) that allowed only 17 sacks all of last season
A wide receiver who can run a 4.48 40-yard dash (faster than a WR/RB we have who is an All-American sprinter)
A redshirt-junior quarterback who threw for more than 3,000 yards last year
An "all-purpose back" so multi-purpose talented our conference had to create that title just for him
An all-senior defensive line often ranked among the top 3 in the nation
A punter with the fourth best average in school history and the best in over 40 years
8 players on preseason national award watch lists

And that's just for starters. :)

I love this school. I love this game. I LOVE THIS TEAM.

September 2nd, I'm ready for you.

Win, lose, or tie, Wolfpack 'til I die!

WOLFPACK FOR LIFE!

I'll take the human ones any day.

Well, Hurricane Matthew has officially arrived. Surprisingly, the center of the state seems to have gotten it worse than we have down here on the coast, but it's still not exactly pleasant here. Downtown is getting beaten because it is right on sea level.

So I've been passing time with a lot of music, TV, and sports. There have been a couple good games that make me very happy.

First, the Campbell boys beat UNC Asheville, the conference leaders who were on a 3-0 conference streak, 2-1. UNCA came very close to tying the game on a penalty kick, but Matt, my little brother, made a gorgeous dive and saved it. The whole team was just on point. The offense was fierce as hell in the first half, and aside from the one goal, the defense was not letting UNCA get away with anything. It was beautiful. But hands down, the most amazing part of the game for me was Matt saving that PK. If you know anything about soccer, you know that it is very, very hard to block a PK. Besides that, he made several great stops on all of the other attempts that UNCA had to tie the game. I'm so proud of him. I call him Triple Time because he is just so good.

Then, today, the Wolfpack hosted Notre Dame. In a monsoon. Not joking. It was like a 100-yard game of slip and slide for 3 hours. So statistics were totally screwed for both teams, but the Wolfpack won out 10-3 after we blocked a punt and returned it for a touchdown. It was kind of funny, though, watching it on TV. You could see the guys just flying around. They'd fall and make splashes taller than they were. The balls were so hard for anyone to hold on to, even for our QB who had amazing stats coming into this game (he's from Phoenix, poor guy, this must be a shock to his system). But ahhh, then there's Matt Dayes. This dude must have the strongest thighs in the world. He's a running back and he can often get several extra yards even after he has two or three defenders hanging on to him trying to bring him down. He is easily my favorite Wolfpack offensive player. (Jack Tocho is my favorite defensive man, but that's for a whole different post.) Get this: Notre Dame had 113 yards of total offense for the game. Matt? Had 140. One guy had 27 more yards of offense than an entire team.  His goal is to get 1,000 yards rushing this season; he's already at 563 five games into a twelve-game season. I really really hope he doesn't get injured like he did last year; otherwise, he probably would have hit it last year.

These two boys are their own kind of hurricanes, and the only damage they cause is to their opponents. Yeah, I'll go with them. Mark, Luke, and John can come take care of the other one.

It's about freaking time.

Oh, my Wolfpack. You poor, poor, desperate boys. I love you, but this year is hell.

We lost 4 major players at the end of last season: 2 to graduation, 1 to a transfer, and 1 to an early exit to the NBA. A recipe for disaster for a team like this.

We started out really well. Non-conference play left us with a 10-3 record, which is better than anything I can remember in recent years. So at first, I was excited and hopeful.

Silly me. I forgot what conference we're in. The ACC is one of the hardest, if not the hardest conference in college basketball. And losing the 4 we did, plus the transfer in that everyone was super thrilled about getting injured seven minutes into the season, meant that we were left with basically no depth. Like NONE.

We started 0-5 in conference play. Excruciating. And today, we set out to play Pitt on the road. They were ranked #20 and had a 15-2 record, so I was dreading this game going in. I was just trying to be realistic, based on the previous five games.

Somehow, someway, we pulled out the win 78-61. We pulled out the win in a major way. At one point early on, we were up 30-9. It was insane. It was like a whole different team. I was thrilled, though, because this was an example of the team we are capable of being. It was the first game that I saw the offensive play being spread out so Cat didn't have to carry the whole team.

It's still a long time until the end of the season with so many tough games ahead of us (like I said - this is the ACC), and our record still isn't good, but man, y'all, 1 conference win feels a whole lot better than 0. There is hope yet.

Either way, this is a rebuilding year, and I'm a ride-or-die Wolfpack fan. Red and white to the end.

Because of course I'd get sick now.

Now, when school work really picks up as we head towards the end of the semester.

Now, when I have to really dig into internship applications.

Now, when PhD application deadline are creeping up on me.

What started out on Tuesday as me just thinking I overworked my vocal chords sending too many singing videos to Summer ended up by Thursday as me sounding like a 70-year-old pack-a-day smoker.

I went to the doctor that afternoon because I had to miss class again, and not only did the doctor tell me that it was good I didn't try to go to class that day, but considering how the symptoms had only been around for a couple days (and Thursday was really only the first day I truly felt terrible), that I was probably going to get worse before I got better.

He gave me an antibiotic prescription and told me that I should wait a week and see if I got better before I filled it. Saturday, I woke up wheezing, which meant it was REALLY moving into my lungs, so I said screw that and filled it yesterday. I cannot afford the risk of my lungs getting really bad off because I cannot afford landing in the hospital.

The upside to this crappy weekend is that I had an overload of sports and that always makes me at least a little bit happier.

My boys won at UNC Asheville, their final regular season game. This meant that they ended up 9-8 and got a winning season for the first time since 2012. But not only that. This also meant they ended up 4th in the conference so they get their quarterfinal match in the championship AT Campbell on Tuesday. It's always good to play on a field you know.

Wolfpack football beat Boston College AT BC 24-8. This is the first time any team has beaten BC on their field since BC joined our conference and the first time the Wolfpack has beaten BC on their field since 1937 (!!!!). Plus BC had the #1 defense in the FBS, and the Wolfpack absolutely crushed the averages they had for defense coming into the game.

And to top it off, Wolfpack basketball had their pre-season exhibition game today and won it. This means that basketball season is here.

So at least there is something going for me this weekend.

Oh, happy day.

You know what's awesome?

Google Maps says there is 528 miles between my apartment and Main Street on Campbell's campus (I know, not as far as I thought, but still pretty freakin' far), and my boys still call me their number one supporter.

Some of them even act surprised that I still show them this much love from so far away, which I find a bit hilarious because, well, family over everything, and I still love them as much now as I did then.

Tonight's game was...intense to say the least. The first half was honestly a bit boring, ending scoreless. Then, within 15 minutes into the second half, it was 3-1, with two goals by one of our freshmen and one by our star Brad. Unfortunately, our opponent got up to 3-3, the last one off a penalty kick that I'm not sure I agree with, so we went to overtime. Golden goal. That makes me anxious beyond belief.

First overtime, meh. Some good shots but nothing went through.

Second overtime, some really close shots on both sides, but both goalies, especially my buddy Matt, worked their tails off. It wasn't until we got a PK with 2:35 left to play that things got fun. And Brad, or as I like to call him - Brad the Beast, won the game. Ah, PKs, they can be such a blessing and such a curse, as evidenced by this game tonight.

I've basically spent all week in bed because of this migraine, not even able to make it to class yesterday (yeah, I know), but today I was finally feeling better, despite only sleeping two hours last night. After eating breakfast, I went to the pharmacy to pick up meds, then despite calling ahead to make sure their photo equipment worked, when I got there it was down, so I had to walk two extra blocks to another pharmacy to print some photos, then I went to the post office to mail some stuff, then I came back. 8 avenue blocks and 2 street blocks in 80 degree weather? That was more walking in one excursion then I've done in probably the past two weeks combined. The good news is that, after I ate lunch, that exhaustion was enough for me to fall asleep for several hours until the game.

I also finally got back to work on the Anima videos this morning. I hate that it took me so long, but Jon totally understood that my health was a mess and I had a rough year. He even said it was "an incredible blessing" that I would make time for this, but I told him this was my attempt at saying thank you for the gift he and his videos have been in my life over the past two years. Hopefully I'll continue to get more done slowly in my spare time.

So I'm really happy tonight. I'm finally beginning to feel better. I got a gift in the mail. I got to get back to work helping my friends. And I got to watch my boys pull out a very close win and support them even from so far away. What more could I ask for?

Talk about a mood lifter.

I've had a bad migraine plus bad cramps and nausea for the past few days, so I really haven't done anything but sleep.

I didn't even eat on Saturday, which probably wasn't very healthy or smart with my blood sugar issues, but even the idea of eating bread made me feel sick, so I just drank a lot of ginger ale to keep sugar in my system.

But y'all know me. I will get up no matter how awful I feel for games I love. Especially when people I love are playing them.

My soccer boys were playing in a tournament in Nashville on Friday and Sunday, and of course there was Wolfpack football on Saturday.

Friday: My boys started off 3-0 by the 49th minute, gave up 2 goals in the next 20 minutes, but managed to hold Lipscomb off until the final buzzer to win 3-2.

Saturday: The Wolfpack had a shutout against Eastern Kentucky, winning 35-0. It was ridiculous.

Our defense was ON FIRE. EKU had 11 offensive drives, and we held them to a 3-and-out on 9 of them.

They got down to the 2-yard line and we kept them from scoring! TWO YARDS! They had 112 yards of offense the entire game. It was almost comical.

Matt Dayes, our star running back, got a hat trick in the second half alone, and had a second game of 100+ rushing yards.

Benson Browne, who had never even had a catch before this year, got a second touchdown to go with his one from last week.

We had 40+ minutes of possession again; NC State has never had 40+ minutes of possession in back-to-back games since Time Of Possession started being recorded for every game, in 1981.

We got to see a bit from our secondary QB, who made an impressive escape from what was very close to being a sack.

And Jacoby, well, Jacoby did what Jacoby does. 17-for-22. It was, all in all, spectacular. I just wish I had been able to see it.

Sunday: The game was intense. It was scoreless until the 60th minute when my little brother Tunji got a beautiful shot in.

Ten minutes later, one of our freshmen scored. 2-0.

Then, in the 85th minute, Belmont got 2 free kicks in 17 seconds and scored on them both, making it 2-2.

I got a little bit nervous (I've always heard from my family that 2-0 is the most dangerous score in soccer, and I understood why in that moment)...but then just 22 seconds later, Brad Farias, who scored two of the goals on Friday, rushed back down the field and netted a third.

A game that went scoreless for 60 minutes had three goals in 39 seconds. It was crazy.

But my boys held off a very angry Belmont for the last five minutes and also pulled that out 3-2. After the way their season started off, it made me so happy to see them get these two wins this weekend.

I tell ya, I started off feeling terrible, but three games like this, they certainly do wonders for my mood. Too bad I have to wait until next weekend for more.

It's the most wonderful time of the year!

Nope, not Christmas.

FOOTBALL SEASON IS BACK, BABY!

Hallelujah and amen.

I may or may not have been counting down to this.

And let me tell you, one of the very few things I truly hate about living in New York is that I cannot see almost all of the Wolfpack games, save for a couple that will be on ESPN/ESPN2.

The good news is that I get almost as excited watching the live stats as I do watching them on TV.

Tonight was the first game, and yes, we start the season off with fairly easy non-conference opponents, but I still absolutely love every time I see my boys dominating. We beat Troy (a school in Alabama) 49-21 and it was just beautiful. Every win is beautiful.

Our QB, redshirt senior Jacoby Brissett (Jacoby for President!) went 21 for 23 for 196 yards and 2 touchdowns.

One of our stars, sophomore tight end/full back Jaylen Samuels, got a hat trick by the third quarter.

Our most popular running back (by far), junior Matt Dayes, had two touchdowns and hit a career high of carries and rushing yards.

There was a ridiculous sack of Troy's QB by junior Dravious Wright.

Junior Jumichael Ramos and grad student Benson Browne turned their first career catches into touchdowns.

I loved every second of it.

This is the team that went from 3-9 in 2013 to 8-5 (including a bowl bid/win) in 2014. I cannot wait to see what 2015 has in store for my boys. Jacoby is being highly regarded as a possible Heisman Trophy candidate, and if that happens, my Wolfpack boys could shock all of college football.

One Pack, One Goal.

I believe in the power of the Pack.

"For the strength of the pack is the wolf, and the strength of the wolf is the pack." ~ Rudyard Kipling

Five good things of today.

Duke won the national championship. Happy for my grandma.

I got to come home. I love my recliner.

I took Mom to meet a bunch of my DWM fam. That made me SO happy.

There was gelato. Delicious, delicious gelato.

Clayton asked me to FaceTime. Usually I initiate so that made me happy, plus it's always sweet to get to talk to him.

One bad: I have to go to work tomorrow. Ew.

Win or lose.

So the Wolfpack lost.

Our most important player played with a stomach virus that he contracted 24 hours before the game.

The refs were blatantly unbalanced.

Our star blocker was so worried about fouling he couldn't get his usual blocks.

The announcers had their heads so far up Louisville's butts you could find their facial imprints on colonoscopies.

But you know what? They fought.

Every second of every minute, they fought.

And it's not like Louisville had it in the bag the whole game; it wasn't until the last few minutes they got the lead back and ran with it.

And still, we got into the Sweet 16. We went further than just about anyone expected, considering we were picked 10th in the ACC pre-season rankings.

So we have plenty to be proud of.

Wolfpack pride runs deep. Win or lose. And we've got plenty of talent heading into next year.

So until I die, you'll hear me shouting - GO PACK.

Now I'll be cheering Duke on to the championship for my grandma.

I'm so happy tonight.

For three reasons.

There's this.

My reaction to that major comeback and buzzer beater win from @packmensbball! Onward! #SurviveAndAdvance

A video posted by Mallory Jones (@_callmemal) on Mar 19, 2015 at 8:42pm PDT

Heavens to Betsy, Wolfpack. Please, please, PLEASE, when you play #1 Villanova on Saturday, do not wait until the last 20% of the game to remember how to play basketball!

We won 66-65 after coming back from a 16-point deficit at the start of the second half with 0.1 on the clock by a basket from the guy who is normally our star defender and not known for making shots.

I hate to sound like a cliché white girl but I can't even right now. I spent like 10 solid minutes on the phone with Mom afterward going "Oh my gosh" repeatedly.

Of course, then I had to deal with all the haters going "Why is NC State celebrating like that? They barely won!" Hello! We're celebrating like that BECAUSE we barely won! Going from a 16-point deficit to winning at the buzzer feels freaking amazing! I think this is what Jimmy V would say to those people.

Mom said this game felt like the Heart Attack Pack of Mr. Valvano and 1983. I screamed very loudly when that shot went in. Thankfully, the country knows it's March Madness so the neighbors didn't call 911.

And then there's this: I got to talk to my love, Jay (from England) on Skype for over an hour tonight. It's been way too long since we've had a decent chat, and I've missed him so much. Just getting to hear his voice made me beam with happiness. Thank God for technology.

And finally, there's this: Tomorrow after work, I get to leave for the church retreat. I'll be at a center in the heart of the Poconos until Sunday afternoon, and then I'm not sure yet if I work Sunday night. There's very little cell reception, but there is Wifi, but I'm not even taking my computer, just my phone. I can't wait to see what God has in store for me this weekend, and for my church family.

Okay, off to bed. 6:30 will come very quickly.

I'm also very thankful I decided to take Benadryl around 10:15 tonight because otherwise, I would be way too wound up to sleep.

GO PACK!

The Big Dance

WHOA BABY. The Wolfpack are going back to the NCAA tournament for the fourth straight year! I kind of expected it, but still it feels good and a huge accomplishment with this young team, and plus you can never be 100% certain unless you're a team like Kentucky or Duke. Not only that, they're getting some serious press as a team to watch out for. I'm so excited to see how far we can go this year, especially since a lot of people were doubting our chances after losing our big star TJ to the NBA at the end of last year.

Our quarter of the bracket through the Elite 8...One analyst actually had us in the Elite 8. Oh I could only hope. The Big Dance is here!

Survive and advance. One game at a time. Let's get it! I'm so excited! This was the upper I needed halfway through my shift tonight.

Duke got #GTHC from our Fight Song. Just saying.

The NC State fight song is as follows:

We're the red and white from State,
and we know we are the best!
With our hands behind our back,
we can take on all the rest!
Go to hell, Carolina!
Devils and Deacs, stand in line!
We're the red and white from NC State.
GO STATE!

And yes, we always sing that fifth line louder than the rest. Hence the bold.

Hey, I didn't write the fight song.

Duke and NC State fans can always bond over one thing - our mutual disdain for UNC.

Today, State beat Syracuse and Duke beat UNC. So I'm happy.

Tomorrow, church then work. Oy.

Whose state? OUR STATE!

The paradox of a retail job: there was basically a constant string of customers from the second I started at 4 this afternoon until around 10, yet time seemed to go by so slowly. And I didn't even get to finish my 15 minute break because a new string of them came in around 10:20. Who knew so many people liked to go to Walgreens late at night? I only got yelled at one guy today, who was furious that they changed the pharmacy hours...I don't think he thought I could do anything about it, I was just the only person that was there. I tried to tell him there was a 24-hour pharmacy a block away but he wasn't hearing it.

And it's girl-problems week so I just am really not feeling like myself. It feels like if I've not been at work, I've been asleep, and it's been that way for several days now. I am not a fan.

My coworkers are awesome. I know I've said that before. The manager on tonight, I used to think she didn't like me, she kind of intimidates me (yeah, I didn't know that could happen either, ha!), but there were moments where she actually did seem to like me tonight. So I don't know what to think.

Oh, and there was this small little other thing that happened while I was at work...

AHHOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

First Wolfpack win at Carolina in 12 years.

Lowest point total for UNC EVER in the history of their Dean Smith Center (Dean Smith also happens to be the legendary former UNC coach that passed away recently).

First Wolfpack win at UNC since good ol' boy Roy became the coach (he's, uh, shall we say, not anywhere close to as beloved as Dean Smith).

And to boot, this is another upset against a ranked team we can claim as a young, ranked, deemed "unimportant, not a rival or a threat" team.

So many things about this win make it epic.

I may or may not have had Holly call me at work as soon as the game was over. ;) Come on, it was an important event!

An Ode to Marshawn Lynch

Oh, dear Beast Mode,
You have the hearts and sympathies of the 12th Man tonight.
All the media likes to talk about
is that you won't talk to them.
But the 12th Man, we know.
We know of your skill.
We know of your heart.
We know you're called Beast Mode for a reason.
Which is why we're utterly shocked and dismayed that on the last play of the game,
with just a yard to a touchdown that would have won your team another Super Bowl,
your quarterback (who's pretty awesome himself...most of the time), well,
he threw to someone else, someone else being a guy on the other team.
You should've been it, Beast Mode.
You should've been it, because we know you would have gotten it done.
You would've saved the day.
So you have our sympathies, our sympathies on their mistake.
On their oversight of your greatness under pressure.
Maybe next time, Beast Mode.
Maybe next time the ones calling the plays will know...
They'll know that you're called Beast Mode for a reason,
and they should trust you to get it done.
Maybe they'll see what we knew in the moment.
But no matter what, you're still Beast Mode,
with your flowing hair,
and your goofy grin,
and your powerhouse build,
and your block-defying strength and agility.
And they're still the Seahawks.
We know they're your boys.
And your boys are our boys.
So we'll stand proud over a great season
and some unbelievable comeback wins.
And we'll get ready for next year
to cheer you on as loud and proud as ever.
Go get 'em, Beast Mode, and remind 'em why you earned the name.

"You don't feel in Beast Mode, it feels you." - Marshawn Lynch aka "BEAST MODE"

Sometimes I even amaze myself.

My anxiety got all out of whack as soon as I laid down last night, so I didn't fall asleep until after 3:00 this morning and then had to get up at 7:00. Ugh. 7:00 isn't even fun when you're well-rested.

I went and got an EEG.

Then had a check up with my neurologist. They upped my seizure med again because of the one seizure I had in early December, and it looks like I'll be spending at least part of my Spring Break in the hospital doing another one of those video EEGs where they force me to have seizures. Ugh. So much fun.

Then I went to the post office and finally mailed back the wrong size phone case that I ordered.

Then I went to the pharmacy and got a med I run out of tomorrow.

Then I ate lunch and watched Chicago PD from last night.

And THEN, I finally got to take a nap for a little over three hours. Which was glorious.

I messed around for a bit after that, ate dinner, watched some TV, waited for the girl who was subletting the roommate's room to come pick something up she forgot when she moved out.

I texted with Mom while I was trying to start working, but she was in a good and weird mood tonight so she was very talkative which meant my phone was going off every 10 seconds which is not very conducive to work.

But then the Wolfpack game was starting, so she got busy. And I worked while checking the live stats every two minutes. We lost. It was stupid and totally avoidable. Oh well.

And guess what...I finished Paper #2 tonight! Actually I finished it and emailed it in right before I started this post. 30 pages, 7,500 words, in four days. Basically 24 hours ahead of schedule. I can't believe I pulled that off, but as Emma told me, I've got one hell of a work ethic. :)

Now I only have the shortest but most difficult paper left, but I am very very tired now, so I'm not going to think about that right now and instead think about the fact that I'm proud of myself for getting two of three papers done in eight days and a whole day before I expected to have them both done.

Good night, world. I need some sleep. Hopefully it won't be so difficult for me tonight.

Don't give up. Don't ever give up.

The words of the great Jimmy V are echoing in my head tonight.

Earlier today, I watched Russell Wilson and the Seahawks come back and win a game in overtime to make it to a second consecutive Super Bowl. They got 15 points in 44 seconds, didn't have their first lead of the game until there was 1:25 left on the clock, and then got a touchdown on the first possession of overtime. Russell was sobbing in post-game interviews, and a teammate of his said that he never stopped saying they were going to win the entire game, even though they were down 16-0 at the half.

Russell believed they were going to win, even as fans left.

Russell believed they were going to win, even as he threw his fifth interception of the game.

I know that it's "just football", and that those guys get paid a heck of a lot of money for "just football", but I just need to say that an NFL quarterback is one job that I do not envy whatsoever. They control the offense, they are the face of the team, and even though they may be the guy everyone loves when a team wins, they are also the first guy people want fired when things don't work out.

Considering how hard I am on myself when I am the only one I have to be responsible for, I can't imagine the stress my mind and body would take if I had an entire team along with their millions of fans putting their hopes on my ability to make the right decisions under pressure.

And beyond that, the quarterback has to be the leader. He has to be the guy that keeps his teammates' heads in the game even when all hope seems lost. Because if he doesn't, they don't have a snowball's chance in hell of winning. I tend to kind of suck at even keeping my own head in the game when things get tight.

But you know what? Jimmy V was on to something. You can't give up. You can't ever give up. Because when everything else fails, hope is all we've got. Even if it's just the hope that tomorrow will be a better day, hope is what gets us through when the whole world seems to be absolutely terrifying. Hope is what pushes us to get out of bed when we really don't want to. Whether you're a Christian whose hope lies in Jesus and the promise that this world is not the end or an atheist who just has the hope that maybe the future will have something good waiting for you, we all have hope in something. We all need to have hope in something, because if we didn't, the darkness we live in every day would strangle us.

I wish I had some big revelation or lesson or something to end this post with, but really, I'm just writing it for me. To remind myself not to give up. Because truth is, right now I'm really overwhelmed and need to remember that hope dies last.

Devils and Deacs, stand in line!

So, remember how the Wolfpack lost to #3 Virginia on Wednesday? We threw it away in the last five minutes and ended up down 10 at the final buzzer. It was frustrating, but overall a good fight from a team that has 10 freshman and sophomores on a roster of 16 (3 seniors, 3 juniors, and 3 of those 6 I don't think play very much).

Well, today we were up against #2 Duke. Unlike Wednesday, we had home court advantage which made this just a tiny bit less nervewracking, but still. Any State fan that isn't completely delusional in their love of their team, at least that's my blunt opinion, went into today nervous. State has a habit of doing really well for the first 75% of a game (both football and basketball) and then choking and blowing it in the last 25%. That's not good!

So imagine my total shock and elation at this.

We, little ol' NC State, the butt of 99% of Duke and Carolina fans' sports jokes, a team people expected to bomb after losing our star player to the NBA, beat #2 Duke, who was 14-0 going into today.

And we beat them by twelve points. Our highest lead of the game was 19 with 5:43 left, and when Duke proceeded to cut the lead to 8, I got very nervous that we were going to "pull a State", but we finally started hitting some free throws and managed to hold them off. Mom and Mommom were at the game and I can't imagine the coronary Mommom was having watching Duke have their worst day in a long time while we were having one of our best WHILE she was surrounded by thousands upon thousands of State fans.

This is even better than our win over Duke when they were #1 two years ago, in my opinion, because two years ago we were ranked, at #20 but still ranked, so at least people could see that being a competition. And we only beat them by 8 at that game. Today we were unranked and analysts expected us to get slaughtered.  Upsets are one of my favorite things about sports. :)

I also love seeing NC State's bell tower lit up red, because I just think it looks awesome.

How about that Wolfpack?!  AHHHHOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!