So I don't have to think anymore.

Well, 5 hours of Comparative Foreign Government reading pretty much blew all my brain power for the night, so since I got tagged for this survey by the lovely Vivielle, this is my blog post. &Otherwise, the post would be one word: Homework. So here you go.

1. This survey gets a little personal; can you handle it?
Hahaha, anyone who knows me or has read this blog knows I'm pretty much an open book, so sure.

2. If you married the last person you texted, what would your last name be?
Uh...the last person I texted was my mother...so uh...it wouldn't change.

3. Were you happy when you woke up today?
Not really.  My head hurts and I knew I had more homework to do. Plus I just don't ever like waking up.

4. When were you on the phone last? And with who?
Ryann when she called me Wednesday night. I barely ever call people anymore, and the people I have called in the past few days didn't answer.

5. What are you excited for?
Talking to some of my dear friends in Nashville that I haven't really talked to in a while.

Where's number 6?

7. Honestly, who was the last person to tell you they love you?
My mother.

8. What’s the last thing you put in your mouth?
Water.

9. Have a best friend?
Yes. Matt. Ryann is an extremely close second, but no one can match the history Matt and I have.

10. Are you scared to fall in love?
Nope.

11. Do you think teenagers can be in love?
Real love?  Maybe.  Depends on the teenagers, most are too immature to know what real love is.

12. Last person you wanted to punch in the face?
Ha.  That one I'll plead the 5th on.

13. What time is it right this second?
11:10 pm

14. What do you want right now?
My head to stop hurting

15. Who was the last person you took a picture with?
Matt :)

16. Are you single/taken/heartbroken/or confused?
Single, somewhat heartbroken

17. When was the last time you cried?
Hmmm....that's a good question. I rarely ever cry anymore.

18. Do you have a good relationship with your parents?
Well my dad died when I was 7, but for my mom, yes, most of the time.

19. Do you find it hard to trust others?
I used to find it nearly impossible. Years of emotional abuse will do that.  But I find myself trusting people more and more nowadays because I have so many amazing friends in my life, and I don't regret it at all, even if it does mean I get my heart stepped on sometimes.

20. How fast does your mind change?
Really, really fast on just about everything. I am horribly indecisive.

21. I bet you miss somebody right now.
Lots of people.

22. Can you honestly say you’re okay right now?
Um…well, define okay…yeah, I guess so.

23. Why do you think so many people cheat?
On tests, because they’re lazy.  In relationships, because they’re too selfish and scared to do the right thing and break up with a person first.

24. Tell me what’s on your mind?
School, this never ending headache, friends and their problems, that whole heartbroken feeling I can’t get rid of.

25. What are you looking forward to in the next three months?
Getting through this semester, applying for next summer’s internship, and watching Ryann kill it at her soccer games.

26. Have you ever worn the opposite sex’s clothing?
Once. When I was in England, I was cold and to avoid having me walk up five flights of stairs to get a jacket out of my suitcase, Paddy gave me his.

27. When did you last talk to your number 1 top friend?
Today

28. When is your next road trip?
I have none planned.

29. Do you have someone of the opposite sex you can tell anything to?
Duh. Matt. There’s nothing that kid doesn’t know about me.  And I can tell just about anything to Taylor or Alex, too.

30. How’s your heart?
Healing.

31. Have you ever felt like you weren’t important?
Quite often, but not so much anymore.

32. Do you think somebody’s in love with you?
I doubt it.

33. What are you planning on doing after this?
Plucking my eyebrows and going to bed.

34. Next time you will kiss someone?
No clue.

35. Have you told anybody you loved them today?
Yes.

36. Who do you not get along with?
The College Republicans.

37. What does your 3rd recent text say?
“Here” because Elizabeth was telling me she was here to take me to Walmart and Lowes.

38. What are you wearing right now?
Pajamas.

39. You’re locked in a room with the person you last kissed, how is it?
Awkward. Especially since he’s now in prison for murder.

40. When’s the last time you had a grilled cheese?
Not anytime recently, as in long enough ago that I have no idea when it was.

41. What’s your favorite boy and girl name right now?
Jayden Matthew and Madison Claire

42. How did you feel when you woke up?
Tired and sore.

43. Do you wish someone would call or text you right now?
Kind of. There are several people I’d really like to talk to, but I’m ready to go to bed.

44. Do you crack your knuckles?
Yes.

45. What were you doing yesterday at midnight?
Homework. Go figure.

46. What are your LEGAL initials?
MAJ

47. Who’s the first B in your contacts?
Ben Grey. :)

48. When was the last time you laughed really hard?
Friday.

49. Your number 1 top friend walks out of your life, do you go after them?
Absolutely. I’d go after almost anyone, but definitely him.

50. Explain your last awkward moment?
When Matt gave me another one of his (you should have sex) talks…which reminds me, I still need to write that post.

51. Are you afraid of the dark?
Usually I’m not, but if I watch a scary TV show I can be.

52. Do you have good vision?
Ha! No. And that would be putting it nicely.

53. Have you ever tripped someone?
Only by accident.

54. Have you ever slapped someone?
Yep.

55. Are you Irish?
No.

56. Do you use chap stick?
No. I probably should, though.

57. Do you have any scars?
19 surgeries AND I’m a ridiculous klutz. What do you think?

58. Is there someone you will never forgive?
No. I forgive everyone, which is a big part of the reason why I get stepped on so much.  It’s not always an easy process. I’m still working on forgiving the guy who broke my heart two months ago.

59. Are you dating the person you last held hands with?
Nope.

60. Name the last person to text you?
My mother.

61. Would you marry someone 8 years older than you?
If I believed they were the one, age wouldn’t matter to me.

62. Can you go in public looking like you do?
Ha. No.

63. Have you ever kissed someone whose name started with a A?
No.

64. What side of the bed do you sleep on?
If you’re standing at the foot of the bed facing it, it’s the left one.

65. What’s the first thing you’ll do on your wedding day?
Wake up?

66. Do you fall for people easily?
I’d like to say no, but some advice from some friends who know me well inclines me to say yes…so…maybe.

67. Has anyone put their arms around you in the past 5 days?
Yes.

68. Do you miss the way things used to be?
Nah. My life is so much better now than it used to be. I’ve learned so much about myself, found friends that loved me, and gotten a lot of harmful people out of my life.

69. Song you’re thinking of right now?
“Come What May” by The Scene Aesthetic

70. Want someone back in your life?
Yes and no…

71. Will tomorrow be better than today?
Less work involved, so yes.

72. What’s the color of the shirt you are wearing?
Purple

73. Who was the first friend that you had?
Hannah is the first real friend that I remember

74. Does it bother you when someone lies to you?
SO MUCH.  Especially when I’m explicitly clear to someone I care about deeply that I need them to be honest with me no matter what because of my past, and they lie to me anyway.

75. Is there anyone who understands your sexuality?
Yes.

76. Are you a naturally happy person? Or is your happiness forced?
Now, I’m definitely naturally happy.  After coming out of what I did the past few years, I learned that if I don’t find the good in life somewhere, I’ll fall right back in that hole I was in before.

77. Is there anyone you wish would fall in love with you?
Yes.

78. What do you wear when you sleep?
Usually a T-shirt and boxers

79. Are you obsessed with something right now?
Aside from Jacob Artist’s solo on the season premiere of Glee, no. :)

80. The first person you loved is?
Matt.

81. Something terrible happened with you?
I don’t know what this question is asking. Has something terrible happened with me recently? No, I don’t think so.

82. You are locked up with someone you love, what happens?
We goof off and play games.

83. If you could wish something, what would it be?
That my family could have enough money for my mom to pay off all her debt and get new cars for everyone so we don’t have to pay for so many car repairs all the time and my mom doesn’t have to feel ashamed about what poor shape her car is in.

84. Ever forced someone to do something?
Ha. Yes.

85. When you are alone, what do you think about?
As of late, school, my friends, the problems they’re dealing with, the boy that broke my heart, and the boy I’ve got a mad crush on.

86. How was your first kiss?
Ha. Well, that was kind of awkward seeing as I was 11 and it was in the front hallway of my church with an older boy I’d known since birth and had been crushing on for a long time.

87. What’s your favorite music genre?
Rock. Always rock. Usually 70s and 80s rock. Thank you, Mom.

88. Are you going to tag people to do this?
No, because I’m lazy.