Bear this in mind: a true friend is hard to find.

I don't know what to say.

I'm still kind of mentally exhausted.

The stuff with those friends who thought I was a traitor came to a boiling point that ended up with me sitting on the steps outside crying at 2 am.

The good news crying that hard that late makes for some solid sleep.

After everything that's happened in the past week, I'm really starting to question who my real friends are.  The past seven days have been filled with people simply turning out to be not who I thought they were.

I know, I know, Christians are just as messed up as anyone, but some of the people that I thought were some of my best friends are not acting like it at all, and it makes my heart hurt.

I'm supposed to be having the time of my life, and my heart is caught up in all of the pain and drama and heartbreak of the past week.  After all of the work I've done to get past the trust issues I had built up over the years, right now I feel like I need to do some serious reevaluation of who I decide to trust, at least as intensely as I have been trusting certain people.

I don't know what to do.  I know I don't want to turn back into that scared little high school girl who didn't talk to anyone, and I love my ability to be kind to everyone, even the people that hurt me, but I have to protect myself.  I can't keep spending nights in tears just because people are human and inevitably will let me down.  My life is too good to stay upset over people who don't even matter in the long run.

Oh, Jesus, give me wisdom...I don't want to shut people out unnecessarily, but I can't keep putting my heart out there for people who just step on it.  I don't know who I can trust anymore.