Fall on God.

That's what I've said to myself about six hundred times today.

Fall on God.

Today, I'm just overwhelmed.  Overwhelmed with the stress and the worry and the frustration and the anger and the sadness and the attacks and just everything.

One would think I would be used to it after basically 13 years, but you never get used to hearing a blood relative tell you they hope you die and burn in hell.  That just doesn't happen.

And now all of those overwhelming emotions are pouring over into other areas of my life with people this has nothing to do with and the last thing I want or need right now is to screw up the good and healthy relationships I  still have.

Just fall on God.  Fall on God.  He can take care of this.  He can give me the strength to make it through the next 4 weeks.  He's the only way I'm going to be able to.

I can't do this.  I think it's been well-established that I can't.  So He's going to have to.  Please, before the family completely shatters.  I'm so unprepared by myself, I'm so broken and I can't stop making mistakes.  I need HIM.  I need the peace that only He can give.

It's time to let go and just fall.  Now.  Before someone or something shoves me.