Four Hours

You know that feeling when you spend a really long time on the phone with someone, and when it's over, you can't really believe it was that long because it didn't feel like that much time had passed?

Yeah, that was me tonight. I spent four hours on FaceTime with Ricky tonight. Four hours. I want to say I didn't know I had the stamina for that, but let's be real, this is me we're talking about. I guess it's more along the lines of I didn't know I could have a conversation that long and not have there be any awkward pauses where we run out of things to say. I think our last record was three hours, but the first two of that were basically spent with me just watching him play FIFA. This was four solid hours of talking and singing songs for each other.

And it was amazing. Granted, I have a lot of work to do, but this was so worth it. The work will get done. It always does. I knew from the beginning that he needed it, but what I didn't realize was that I needed it, too. Isn't it funny how that works? You think you're doing something to help someone, and then you end up getting a big benefit from it, as well. It's like God knows what He's doing or something.

After some of the things we covered tonight, I just can't help but say that I so dearly love this guy. He has a pretty powerful story, too, totally different from mine but still very powerful, so we understand each other in a way that most people can't or don't. It's comforting to have someone who grapples with a lot of the same questions that I do and who approaches things from the same perspective. It's a safe place for the both of us. I told him today there's nothing he doesn't know about me, and he said I know everything about him, too, and it just spoke to me how safe we both really do feel. It's a friendship where I have no doubts that it's a two-way, symbiotic, both-are-giving-and-receiving kind of friendship because we've both needed to be there for each other over the past few months. We know what the other one needs. And I never feel more fulfilled than when I get to help people.

Ricky makes me feel adored, and valued, and appreciated. He's the kind of man I would like to marry one day. I'm so thankful I get to call him my big brother.