:(

This SUCKS.

The rib pain is a little better,

but the arm pain is worse.

Much, much worse.

It's gone down the upper half of my right arm, and up the muscle on the right side of my neck.

It's excruciating.

I want to cry and scream at the same time.

My mom says it's just the weather changing,

but the weather changing has never done anything like this to me.

And I used to have a big heating pad here at school,

but I must've taken it home at the end of last semester because I can't find it here.

Of course.  Because that would be easy.

You know what? 

Sometimes I wish my life was boring.

Boring sounds nice right now.

No pain, no stress, no worries.

What happened to boredom?

Did I mention that this SUCKS?

I'm going to go take a shower and go to sleep with wet hair because all I want to do right now is sleep.

I need to wash my sheets tomorrow anyway.

Thank God I got my final draft of my research paper done yesterday.

Speaking of sleep, here's a sorta funny story: Today after Science I came back and took a nap.  I set my phone alarm for 4:30.  Well I woke up on my own, looked over at the clock on my nightstand and it said it was 4:04.  Instead of thinking 'Sweet, I have 25 more minutes,' I thought, 'Dang I slept a long time! And it's really bright outside for 4:00 in the morning!'  Hah.  That's how out of it I've been.

Might as well end with some humor, right?

It's always something with me.

Stabbing pain in my shoulder.

Pain like a sumo wrestler is sitting on my shoulder.

Stabbing pain in my right ribs every time I breathe.

Sound familiar?  It does to me. 

I'm barely wheezing, so I don't think it's gone as far as my lung collapsing, but this rib and shoulder pain feels exactly like it did then.  And the chest pain is very similar to the pleurisy.  So I don't know if it's atalectasis, or pleurisy, or what.

All I know is that it HURTS.

Sigh.

WHY does it ALWAYS have to be SOMETHING with me?!

Ow. Just ow.

Rock on!

Wanna know what one of my favorite things about my mom is?

No, not her amazing food.

It's the fact that she has instilled a fantastic taste in music in Holly and me.

Case in point:  we spent 90% of the holiday weekend listening to Carole King, Joni Mitchell, Eric Clapton, and The Doobie Brothers. (mostly the first two)

We would've played The Beatles, but Holly borrowed them and now magically can't find them.  (I, for one, think she just said she lost them so she doesn't have to give them back. Hah!)

'70s and '80s rock music is, frankly, way better than any music in the past decade.

In the spirit of this music genre, excuse me, I have to break out into song....

Ohh
We're heading for Venus and still we stand tall
'Cause maybe they've seen us and welcome us all, yea
With so many light years to go and things to be found
(To be found)
I'm sure that we'll all miss her so
It's the final countdown!
The final countdown
The final countdown
(The final countdown)
Ohh ho ohh

And scene.

It doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure out what countdown I'm referring to.

Eleven days till I'm home.

I repeat. Eleven days.

Can I get a HALLELUJAH?!

It seems like the closer we get to the end of the semester, the worse the moods of my professors become.  Which is not fun to deal with. 

I am so ready to be home for an entire month without having to think or stress about ANYTHING.

The good news, though, is that I finished the two revisions on my research paper I had to have done for tomorrow already, which means that I don't have to stress, and I plan on going to bed early tonight since there's no new Brothers & Sisters.  (Well....early for me.)

Oh, by the way, the almost no headache yesterday thing?  A fluke.  Totally a fluke.  Gah.

In the Nick of Time

*sigh of relief*

I somehow just managed to finish my paper.  It took me like 3 hours to figure out the conclusion.  Which is odd.  Usually the introduction is the hardest part for me to write.  Oh well, I got it done.  And I'll have time to do the two revisions I have to have done for Monday tomorrow because Mom has to be back home at a reasonable hour.

I love my family, but I'm now dreading Christmas break.  Chelsea...ugh, I don't even know.  She just drives me nuts.  She's allowed to be a jerk to everyone but if anyone is mean to her she cries about how she's so abused.  And how about the fact that she ignores Blake to stare at her stupid phone like whatever moron is texting her is more important than her son?  And there's just stupid, childish stuff like how I asked her to chew with her mouth closed at lunch today so she purposefully opened her mouth and mashed all her partially-chewed food around.  Like she's 4.  A 4-year-old with a baby.  We keep waiting for her to grow up and stop acting like a child, and it's like...the longer I wait the less I expect it to ever happen. 

Maybe college isn't so bad after all, huh? :P

I actually made it through most of the day without a headache.  I'm scared to say whether stopping my birth control was a help (even thought it stopped keeping me off my period) or if it was just a fluke.  I guess we'll see!

God bless my grandma.  She gave me $80 today for my printer ink, sodas, snacks and "just cause she paid Chelsea to clean for her."  Hah, gotta love that she always has to keep things "even."

Actually, no, I changed my mind.  Even Chelsea and all her stupidity is better than the stress of college. 

Sore

I have done more physical labor today than I have done in the past six months.

Combined.  The past six months combined.

And you know what the sad part is?

I really didn't even do that much.

But as my mom said, having back-to-back (-to-back!) foot surgeries will kinda limit your physical capabilities.

Aside from Chelsea being in mean mode, today was nice.

Family is nice.

My mom's best friend surprising her today by coming down to see her "just because she was in the hospital" is really nice.

I am exhausted.  So I am off to take a shower and hit the sack because I have to get up early tomorrow so I can get this paper done.

Ya know, the one I haven't even started yet? :)

Plus, State plays Maryland tomorrow in hopes of being declared the ACC champions, and I know I'm not gonna get any work done while that is on, so...

Hopefully this Benadryl I took will make me stop sneezing long enough that I can fall asleep.

Thankful

Today has been a lazy day.  We're having our family Thanksgiving dinner tomorrow because my aunt who's a nurse has tomorrow off.  I slept literally all day.  Mom is currently putting up the tree.  I tried to help, but I can't stop sneezing (of course), and besides, she is the only one who can do the lights the way she likes them, and she's now putting up the top half of the branches, and they're really narrow so it's easier.

Today I am thankful for so many things:

I am thankful for my mom.  My best friend.  My hero.  The woman who gives 150% 24/7 to make my life and my sisters' lives as good as she possibly can.  She's the most loving person, I know, even when we fight.

I'm thankful for Holly.  We didn't always have a great relationship, but now I get excited every time she calls and I actually want to ask her advice on stuff now.

I'm even thankful for Chelsea.  We still don't have a good relationship, but the girl is a constant lesson in patience and kindness.  Plus, she gave me my sweet Blake man, so I have to love her for that. ;)

I'm so thankful for Blake.  It's amazing how much a little baby can teach you.  He's taught me how to slow down and enjoy the simple things, like just laying down making funny faces at him so he'll laugh.  I love his laugh. (New Blake pictures coming this weekend - Holly's already threatened me about taking new ones! Haha)

I'm thankful for my grandma.  She's like a second mother, stepping up to take care of me, Chelsea, and Blake because my mom can't afford to be out of work.  Even if her road rage does drive me a little batty, she's amazing.

I'm thankful for doctors.  So many doctors have kept me alive over the past 18 years.

I'm thankful for my Uncle Ed and Aunt Dinah.  They're the ones who make it possible for me to go to a private university without an ounce of student loans.  They bought me a $1400 power chair without even being asked just because they knew I'd need it.

I'm thankful for Matt, my best friend.  The one who's been there for me for 8 years when no one else was, even when it wasn't easy for him and people asked him why he was friends with me.  He reminds me I'm not crazy when I feel like I'm losing it.  It sounds a little dramatic, but he really is one of God's greatest gifts to me.

Lastly, I'm thankful for all of you.  Those who remind me that I am loved, who listen to all of my ramblings, who make me remember that there's not something wrong with me just because I have so few IRL friends.  Thanks. :)

Hope you all had a wonderful and blessed Thanksgiving.  Remember - tell those you love that you love them.  Because you never know when it's your last chance.

Hallelujah.

I really, really, really like my new doctor!  She's so nice and actually listened to me and trusted that I know what's going on with me (I haven't had the greatest experience with past doctors in that area).

She says from my description of the headaches, she really does think that they're migraines (not stress headaches, mother!) and had lots of things to say.

I have to go off my birth control pill because girls my age have fluctuating estrogen levels and BCPs can mess with that and cause headaches.  This was the only thing I didn't like about my appointment today, because without the pill, my periods are going to be ten times worse than they already are.  Mom expects me to just deal with it, and I'm telling her I want to see either my family doctor or a gynecologist about it when I get home for Christmas.  Hello, woman, something is obviously wrong in that department! (Yes, she's just in a stellar mood today.)

She emailed my pharmacy a prescription for a new medicine called Maxalt-MLT for these headaches, and she gave me a few samples because I told her I wouldn't be able to pick the med up till Friday.  I took one when I got in the car after the appointment.  My terrible headache was almost gone in thirty minutes. Praise Jesus.  And they dissolve on your tongue and leave a minty fresh aftertaste. :)

She told me I need to check with my dentist because my temple muscles are super strong which indicates that I might grind my teeth in my sleep.  If I do, that could be adding to the problem, but I told her I just went to the dentist this past spring, and they've never said anything to me about that, but I told her I'd check.

I also might have to do a sleep study because she wants to make sure I don't have sleep apnea.  But I've never done any of the things that she said people who have it usually do, so I'm not too concerned about it.

I also have to keep a log of every headache I get from now till early January when I go back to see her.

Oh, and the icing on the cake of a very productive appointment?  She told me she never would've guessed that I'm 18.  She thought I was 24.  I love it when that happens.

Thank you, God, for putting what I truly believe is the right doctor in my path.

Are you there, God? It's me, Mal.

Look, I know You are all-knowing and all-powerful, and I do trust You, but I'm desperate here.

I have finals starting in ten days.  I need to be at the top of my game so I can do well.

That's not going to happen with the way these migraines are going.

They're absolutely debilitating.

And I'm just exhausted.  In every sense of the word.

Every time I think I'm finally past the medical hurdles, You put something else in my path.

I'm trying really, really hard not to question You, because I know You love me, but this is just so draining.  And I honestly don't know how much longer I can go on like this.

So basically, I know I can't change anything in the current situation, but I'm begging You here.

Please, please, please let this new doctor tomorrow have some answers or solutions for me. 

I need this.  Only You understand how much I need this.  I haven't let on to anyone how hard this has been because they just wouldn't get it.

But I'm laying it all out here.

I need help.  And soon.

A Much Welcomed Change

This afternoon, while writing up my outline for my English paper, I came up with a fantastic (if I do say so myself) thesis, and after that, I have felt so, so much better about this project.

Completely different from yesterday, wouldn't you say?

Uh huh.

It's amazing how much confidence can do for your stress level.  And I'm rarely confident in papers/essays I have to turn in, so this is really good.  Especially since Dr. H is a super hard grader.

Of course, this does not change the fact that I am completely exhausted, but it's still pretty awesome.

All I can say is that I am SO glad I get to go home on Wednesday! 

And don't you worry your pretty little head - I will NOT forget my camera this time so you all will get to see just how beautiful my sweet Blake-man is.  :)

I think it's time for a new profile picture, don't you? ;)

Shoot me now.

It's just past 9:00.

I have been working on my research paper non-stop for 8 hours, save for the 20-minute shower I took.

The only reason I'm on here blogging right now is because I'm eating a bowl of Frosted Cheerios for dinner.

I have 20 notecards done.

I have to turn in 45 notecards tomorrow.  Plus a full outline.

My goal is to just get the notecards done tonight, and do the outline tomorrow between Religion and French.

I can already feel a migraine coming on.

Not cool.

This research paper may very well be the death of me.

Is it December 8th yet?

Now, there's a shock.

So I finally talked to my mom this afternoon.  She told me that the cause of her heart problems this past week wasn't her esophagus.

It was stress.

My mom? Stressed? Noooo.

She's only a single mom living on a teacher's salary who supports her three daughters and grandson, two of those daughters have their own health problems, and she has to deal with a job five days a week that she's absolutely miserable at.

Stress couldn't possibly be the cause!

Hah.  I'm just glad she's okay.  She said she's still pretty weak but doing better.  It's amazing how draining laying in a hospital bed can be, but really, it is.

Wanna hear my genius move of the day?  I was standing on my power chair (it was off) trying to get a page out of a book copied.  Well, I did and got down.  I grabbed the joystick to back the chair up so that I had more space to turn around and sit down.  But instead?  I ran the chair forward.

Right over my right foot and the still-healing incision.

Luckily, only clear fluid has come out of it, so it's not serious.  But it sure hurt something fierce!  I'm amazing, aren't I? 

Guess what today was.

The 100th anniversary game of NC State vs. UNC.

And NC State won.  29-25.  We held on by the skin of our teeth for the first three quarters.  Lately this season, it's been that we'd kick butt the first three quarters and then blow it away in the last quarter, but this time it was the opposite.  Up until the last minute of the third quarter, we were playing so crappy.  But then, we got a touchdown, and from there we just killed.  Beginning of the 4th quarter we got an 87-yard return for another touchdown.  It was nuts!  But an absolutely awesome game.

You know what's also awesome?  All the UNC fans on my Facebook friends who posted before the game that they were going to kill us and we're not rivals and blah, blah, blah, and then in the 4th quarter they started freaking out.  One girl actually posted "Football is not that big of a deal in the ACC.  We'll kill you in basketball." And all I could think was "1) Somebody's bitter! and 2) Like you'd really be saying that if you had won."  Hah.  People are hilarious.

Today's been a good day.  Despite all the work I've done, I'll be doing stuff for my research paper all. day. long. tomorrow, but still.  Today was a good day.

I am just SO MAD tonight.

And this time, it's not about me or my life.

It's about a friend.

A friend I met by finding her blog.

She is quite possibly one of the funniest, most passionate people I've ever met.

She's a 27-year-old single girl in Alaska.  Two years ago she was diagnosed with endometriosis and, over the next two years, her endo progressed to stage 4.  One of the fastest cases all the docs she's been to have ever seen.

She was told that if she wanted to have kids, she had to do it now, or she probably never would.

So she chose IVF.  She went through all the testing, and two surgeries, and bought sperm (men's version of liquid gold, apparently) and went for it on her own.  She spent pretty much every dime she owns, and borrowed immense amounts of money from her grandma to pay for this.

She only had enough money, and strength of heart, to get one set of embryos.

She did her first round in July, and it failed.

She had two embryos frozen, and today found out that it failed, too.

My heart is broken, for this girl I don't even know.  It's just one of those times that I'm sitting her staring at the ceiling going, "WHY, God? Why?! Why, why, why?!" 

I barely know this girl, but I was praying so hard for her to have her dream of being pregnant.  It's not about having a biological child to her, it's that she just wanted to be pregnant.  And it seems just so screwed up that this girl, who you can tell after about two seconds of reading her blog, is meant to be a mother, can't have the one dream she's been dying for.  When there are moms out there who abuse their kids, who sell their kids to pay off drug debts, who do so much harm and can get pregnant with ease time and time again, it just kills me that this girl is sitting in her Alaska apartment crying her eyes out right now because her body has failed her, all her hard and tenuous work has failed her.

It's just...mean.

But you know why I think this case is bothering me more than others?  Because in five or ten years, I could be her.  My mom had severe endometriosis, and it's hereditary.  My periods have never been regular.  I was told at 16 that my doc thinks I have an ovarian disease.  For years now, I've had this gnawing feeling in my gut that as much as I desperately want to be a mother, conceiving is not going to be easy.

I can't predict the future.  All I can think tonight is that my heart is breaking for my friend.

Why, God.  Why.

Relief

Relief.  Mom is home.  She texted me while I was in my Science lab.  Not sure of any details because I haven't really had any time to talk to anyone, but all that matters is that she's okay.

Speaking of Science lab, we completed our last lab write-up today in class, so I don't have to worry about that this weekend. And there's no more labs!  Until next semester, anyway.

AND I finally got that blasted fiction paper written.  I can't even tell you what a relief it is for me not to have to worry about that darn thing anymore.  That would be because I have to do this dang research paper that I'm now behind on the research for because I've spent all week worrying about this fiction paper.

Twisted, isn't it?

My mind is exhausted.  So...sayonara.

Yay yay yay.

I got an A on my poetry paper!  That just makes me so happy.  And I finally got some words to flow for the fiction paper I still haven't turned in even though it was due October 1st (while I was out with the MRSA).  Of course I'll be working all weekend on the research for my research paper because I haven't done that this week like I was supposed to, but oh well.  Thankfully most of my classes don't have any other big things (quizzes, tests, projects, etc.) until the finals, so I really shouldn't have anything else besides a lab write-up to do this weekend.

Mom had her CT scan today, but I don't know the results because Mommom had to leave the hospital to go pick up Blake before they came back.  Chelsea said something about Mom is gonna ask for a colonoscopy tomorrow.  Not sure why.  But I'll keep you updated.  Just please keep praying!  I want things to get better for my mom.  Losing her is one of my worst nightmares, guys.  You have no idea...I can't even find the words to describe it.

FOUR more meetings of my MWF classes.
THREE more meetings of my TTH classes.

Yes, I really am counting down.

And so it continues...

The medical drama, that is.

But hey, at least this time it's not my medical drama!

Yeah, apparently Mom's in the hospital again. 

And she didn't tell me about it...again.

She went in because she thought she was having heart trouble again.  But they did another catheterization on her today, and her heart is okay. (Praise God!!!) So they think she could be having bad esophagus spasms.  My grandma (her mom) has had those several times, and there were two or three times she thought she was having a heart attack, so it definitely makes sense.  The doctors are doing a CT Scan tomorrow to check it out, and if that's the case, she can get a medicine for it, and help it with her diet.  So there's a chance she'll go home tomorrow, but I don't know.

But you know how I found out?

I got a call from my (now former) seizure/neurology doctor's partner office, the adult neurology clinic, about setting up an appointment for me to come in and see someone about these horrendous migraines.  They had something open next Wednesday the 24th, and so I told them I'd call and ask my mom if she thought I should take it and if she could get that day off of work (she used to have it off, but it became a weather make-up day from the storm/flooding in late September).  I called her cell phone several times, and she didn't answer.  I figured that was normal - she was probably still at work, but I really needed to get back to the scheduling lady before they closed, so I called her school office.  The receptionist told me she didn't come in today.  (At that point, I was thinking WHAT?)  So I called Chelsea and asked where Mom was.

Chelsea: Why?
Me: Cause I need to talk to her.
Chelsea: Um...she can't...come to the phone right now.
Me: Why???
Chelsea: Cause she's in the hospital with heart problems.

Yeah, what a way to find out, huh?  And Chelsea was like...totally calm.  Then she was like "Uh, I gotta go." and hung up, so I called my friend who lives upstairs because I was freaking out.  Thankfully, about five seconds after my friend showed up, Chelsea called and gave me the update that she was okay.

Hooray for Mom being okay!

And also, hooray that I don't have to wait till after finals to see someone about these horrendous migraines!  My grandma said that she'd come pick me up Wednesday morning and then drive me up to Raleigh so that we could get something to eat before the appointment, and so she wouldn't have to pick me up Tuesday night, drive me home to Swansboro, and then turn around and drive me up to Raleigh the next day.  Of course, staying an extra night here at Campbell isn't cool, but I'll take it to save two weeks of having no help with these headaches!

23 Days

I have to find the energy to make it through the next 23 days.

And the peace not to totally go off on my English professor.

Today, she gave us a pop quiz on this one-act play we had to read.  Apparently, only I and one other person read it.  She asked who all read it and when the two of us raised our hands she glared at me like she thought I was lying.  Because apparently I did poorly on the quiz.

I actually had to say, "Please don't embarass me in front of the entire class." for her not to finish the sentence "How can you have read it and say ---" as she held up my quiz.

Are you KIDDING ME?!  What kind of a professor does that?  Did it ever occur to her that a) I'm not a liar and even if I was, I wouldn't bother lying about something like that when pretty much no one else read it, either and b) I had a freaking migraine and that's why I couldn't focus on her stupid pop quiz?!

I'd talk to the head of the English department about this, but apparently she's even less approachable and less friendly than my professor.

I mean...that's just rude, right?

Plus, I have to deal with my mom telling me she thinks my migraines are just stress headaches.  Even though I've told her two dozen times that the pains are completely different.  I mean, I'm sure she's just trying to keep me calm and everything, but it feels like she's doubting me.

I tell ya, I'm gonna need like...radioactive energy to be able to get all the work done in the next three weeks.

Or...ya know...a break from these migraines would probably do the trick.

I don't have the energy for anything else.

Will it EVER END?!

You know, guys, believe it or not I've been trying really hard lately to stay positive.

To make jokes about all the medical crap I have to deal with.

To not draw attention to myself.

To let others know that I am okay despite everything I've been through.

But I'm about to be a Negative Nelly, and frankly, be really real here.

I am exhausted.

I am tired of being in pain all the time.

I do everything the doctors tell me to do, and yet these annoying migraines will. not. go. away!

Which, in case you were wondering, makes it really freaking hard to focus on all the schoolwork I have to do.  You know, like the paper that was due October 1st that I still haven't written?

I can't go two straight days without having a migraine. 

And I'm tired of it.

And if it's not my head, it's my back, my feet, my sinuses, the "eradication protocol" for the stupid MRSA or something else.

Like right now? My head feels like it's going to explode.  My eyes hurt.  The pressure makes me want to cry, which wouldn't be very smart, because that would just make it worse.

And it's like...every time I think the doctors have found a way to help me, my body gets comfortable with the medicine and it stops working.  Like the muscle relaxer that the Duke neuro guy gave me a couple months ago.  It worked great at first!  Then, it didn't.

Now I have migraines four or five days a week.

And of course, I couldn't go see a doctor now because my attendance has already been blown out of the water, which means I've got at least 4 more weeks of suffering before I'll be able to get some help.

Basically, I'm just tired.  So, so very tired.  Tired of the fatigue.  Tired of having no answers. 

And very, very tired of the pain.

Workin' Workin' Workin' Day and Night

That's what my day has consisted of.

Working.

Working.

And working some more.

If only I looked as happy as these people about it.



Hey, I guess productivity is a good thing, right?

At least I've got that going for me. ;)

You're welcome for the video.

I firmly believe everybody needs a little Michael Jackson in their lives.

Sorry, George, you were wrong.

So suffice it to say, I watch George Lopez.  A lot.

One line I remember him saying to his TV daughter Carmen is, "Never underestimate the beauty of an unexpected period."

Well, guess what, George, you were wrong.  So, so wrong.

There is really nothing beautiful about getting your period three weeks before you're supposed to.

Especially not while taking birth control pills that are supposed to regulate your period.

I've been on this special four-periods-a-year birth control for over three years now.  I started it in 2007 one, because my periods were out of control, and two, so I wouldn't have to deal with my period while recovering from my spine surgery.

It's supposed to take up to a year for your body to get used to it, which I could understand.  And really, for about the first year and a half, it worked super.  I loved it.  Then, I started getting periods in the middle of a pack.  Periods that never. ended.

Okay, not never, obviously, but that went on for a really, really, really long time.

You wanna know the longest time I've been on my period for?  57 days is the longest I remember.

57 days.

Yes, FIFTY-SEVEN DAYS.

While on birth control.

Can't wait to see how long this one lasts!

Sigh, I guess this is just one more doctor appointment I'll have to fit in over Christmas break.

So fun.

So I'm sitting here watching Grey's Anatomy, and I get a text message from a number I don't recognize...

It says: Hey, i have a quick question.
I write back: Who is this?
Him: Nich...
Me: Um, I think you have the wrong number. I don't know any Nich.
Him: Im goin out with megan
Me: I don't know any Megan, either. My name is Mallory Jxxxx. Unless you're looking for Mallory Jxxxx, you have the wrong number.
Him: I was textin u like a month ago im not dumb
Me: I'm not saying you're dumb. I'm saying I have no idea who you are! Whatever, what is your question? Maybe by some miracle I'll have an answer for you.

Now...nothing.  Getting harassed by strangers is so much fun!

You know what's also fun?

Having a migraine so bad you can't do any of the work that you need to do. Again. 

And a mother who's so busy with her own work that she can't remember to call Duke to schedule a neuro appointment.

And washing with soap that's the color of cherry juice and smells like rotten eggs.

And shoving cream up your nose.

Sigh. 

God, please help me to find the happiness in life again.  I don't want to be so upset all the time.  I just don't know how to change it or where to go from here.  Please help me.  Please help me to have emotional strength, and some solace among these atrocious persistent migraines.  I feel like I'm breaking here.

Four Weeks

Four weeks from today, I will be completing my last exam.

Yeah, I'm not burned out at all.

Stress is rampant.  The work load is high.  The teachers are ornery.  I have no energy.

Bad combo.

Ow.

My new discovery of the day: If you don't walk in a normal tennis shoe for three and a half months, it'll hurt when you finally do.

Deep stuff, huh?

I was finally able to wear a regular tennis shoe on my right foot today.  I haven't done that since my second foot surgery on July 23. I walked down the hall of my dorm and to the nearby dining hall. 

I'm not allowed to walk all the way to class yet.  My doc wants me to take things slow to not stress the bones that only had 2 months to fuse (it usually takes at least 6 months, usually a year).  It's a good thing he told me not to walk to class yet.

Because the little bit I did today?  Let me tell you; it hurt.

Ow numero dos? The nasty rash-like dry skin thing I've got going on on my right arm where the PICC line was.  My skin does not react well to adhesive, and I had adhesive there for six weeks, so it's just nasty, and I can't find anything to help it.

Basically, other than that, I'm just stressed. I can't wait for this semester to be over.

No More

No more walking boot.

No more PICC line.

No more arm pain.

No more interrupted sleep to wake up at 5 and 6 am for the antibiotics.

No more taking showers one-handed.

No more waterproof limb covers.

No more itching.

To say today is awesome would be an understatement.

Of course, the next 3 weeks will include rubbing cream on the inside of my nose and showering with the really smelly soap that docs have you use before a surgery every day, but hey, I'll take it.

Small tip: Don't use alcohol swabs to try and get peeling dry skin off.  It stings. Bad.

Yes, I am just that brilliant.

Oh boy.

I've taken Sudafed and an extra 50 mg of Benadryl on top of the 50 mg I take twice a day before I do my antibiotics.

Yet I still feel like my sinuses are going to bust out of my ears.

However, I have managed to read 2.5 out of the 3 Science chapters I have to read for the test on Tuesday, and am about to finish the last half a chapter before I go to bed.

Because you know what tomorrow is, right?????

(How could you not, I've only mentioned it about 12 times.)

I GET MY PICC LINE OUT!!!!!!

Six weeks ago, it felt like tomorrow would never come.  But it's here, and I managed to balance school and all of the doctor/medicine stuff without going (completely) nuts.  Yay me!

Good night. 

I think I'm allergic to my house.

Sounds crazy, I know.

But really.

Every single time I come home, I come home fine sinus-wise, and by the next day I'm sneezing my head off.

Every single time.

Without fail.

Chelsea dusts and vacuums my room before I come home.

The dogs have gotten a bath.

And yet I can't.

Stop.

Sneezing!

Which leads to terrible sinus headaches.

Which makes the whole getting homework done thing really difficult.

Sigh.  Just gotta push through the headache and get this reading done, I guess.

So glad to be home.

Even if Chelsea's slightly manic and Mom's in a bad mood.

I'm still happy to be home.

Blake's still got some hives, but the purpleness is gone, and his personality is generally back to normal.

And he's 8 months old today!

I've got homework to do, but mostly?

I'm just counting the hours till my PICC-line-removal appointment. :)

Right now we're at 63 hours and 53 minutes. :)

Yes, I'm that excited.

Today was rough.

I didn't go to Science or Lab.

Another major migraine.

It's lessened since this afternoon, but not gone.

Stress? Probably. 

That or just my screwed up brain hating me some more.

Plus, I banged the crap out of my left arm/elbow on a metal door today.

And right now I feel like I'm going to throw up.

There was something I wanted to blog about, but frankly, I forgot.

Thank God tomorrow's Friday.  I get to go home for the weekend and see sweet Blake.

And get my PICC line out on Monday.

Night.

Pray for Blake

Poor baby boy is having such a rough go of things. 

He had two ear infections (his second time of that, if he gets them again, he has to go to an ENT). 

So he got an antibiotic for it. 

Almost a week on that antibiotic, and he was still getting really high fevers. 

So they went back to the doctor and got him a new antibiotic. 

Mom picked that up yesterday, and today, she said he had "the worst allergic reaction she's ever seen," and Chelsea's got some allergies that have almost killed her several different times, so she's seen bad.  His hand and feet are purple.  His entire body is covered in gigantic hives, surrounded by purple marks. 

That poor, sweet boy.  I feel so bad for him.  So if you'd say some prayers that he gets over all this and is back to normal soon, I'd really appreciate it.

Busy busy me.

Seriously.  HOW is it past 11 o'clock already?  This day has flown by.  Let's recap, shall we?

I woke up at 10:30.  (Which felt freakin' fantastic, by the way.)
I took a shower.
I ate lunch.
I went to Science.
I came back to the dorm.
I did laundry.
I had my last visit with my home nurse.
I ate dinner.
I did homework.
I watched Dancing with the Stars.
I did more homework.
And here we are.

Other awesome thing about today? My Science test got moved from Thursday to next Tuesday, which means I can wait till this weekend to do the reading that I haven't done yet. (Oops!)  I have to focus on my Religion test in the morning, my Western Civ quiz on Thursday, my French test on Friday, and my paper due on Friday.

College life is so fun. 

6 days till I get my PICC line out! *collapses*

One Fine Day

My appointment was fine.

I got back to school in time for French and English.

I got the notes I missed from Religion.

And despite only getting 4.5 hours of sleep last night (thanks Western Civ) and having my sinuses feel like they were going to explode all day, I managed to not be totally exhausted.

Plus, I got a new microwave!!!  Seriously, the microwave I had in my dorm was really old.  Like 8 or 9 years old.  And I couldn't pop popcorn in it because every time I tried, smoke started pouring out of it.  Which isn't really a good thing when you're in a college dorm with finnicky fire alarms.  And the screen was broken, too, so I'd never know if I entered the cook time in wrong or whatever.  So I told my mom that all I wanted for Christmas, besides money for Campbell clothes, was a new microwave.  And since she got paid on Friday, she surprised me with one! :)

And I'm down to my last week of having to deal with this PICC line and antibiotics.

AND my Western Civ professor cancelled class tomorrow because he's working the polls, which means I'll get at least 2 extra hours of sleep! :)

I don't know about you, but that sounds like a pretty fantastic day to me.