Granted, I do have every girl's legit excuse for being an emotional mess going on right now, if ya catch my drift, and that always makes this already sensitive girl much, much worse, but this is just ridiculous.
Yesterday, I cried because a friend who has been the biggest mentor in my life over the past 5 years by far sent me an email, and I took it as an attack when if there's anything the past 4.5 years that we've known each other taught me, it's that this woman would never ever in a million years attack me, let alone intentionally make me cry.
Then, I cried because my mom went to her boyfriend's house. I haven't dealt with separation anxiety since I was, like, 10 (my dad dying really messed me up for a few years). Please explain that one.
Today, I cried over some stupid thing Chelsea said that I normally would just roll my eyes at, and because Mom isn't here to help me deal with her.
The one not-totally-irrational thing that I've cried about this week is that I leave for school on Sunday. School by itself is not what made me cry. I mean, duh, Campbell is my home. I want to go back as soon as I leave. It was the oh-so-fun combination of between being sick and the surgery I'm sickeningly behind on making up all the stuff from this past semester (I did get those reviews done today, though, so yay), and it's my last semester starting in a week and oh my word I love my school, and my first grad school application is due on Saturday that turned into this giant wave of absolute panic about the future and OH MY GOSH I CAN'T DO THIS insanity.
I keep telling myself that every college senior hits this point sooner or later, and it's totally natural to freak out about leaving a place that you love and have been at home at for 4+ years, but I still felt pretty crazy sitting here trying to focus on this book about the Vietnam War and instead crying really hard.
Once I finally finished those reviews tonight, I ate some cheese and crackers and some ice cream - not together, mind you - and plan on staying up late tonight watching Glee. I'm giving myself a mental day tomorrow for New Year's Eve before I jump into grad school applications.
Because sometimes, that's just what you need.
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