I am but I know.

(This is backdated because I didn't feel like writing much this week.)

Oy.  Well I'd say the hospital blues have set in.  Part of me doesn't want to leave because it doesn't seem like the DHE worked (the last dose was earlier today) but part of me is thinking it'll be so nice to get out of this tiny little room.

I'm frustrated, but not with these doctors.  They're trying everything they can think of.

I'm frustrated, but not with God.  I've felt him with me every second of every day this week.

I'm just frustrated with the situation, and trying not to be because I know that God is in control of this, even when it feels like a total mess.  I know that I am not alone.  But I'm human and I have to learn how to balance my very human emotions with what I know to be true about the King of Kings.

I'm frustrated...but I know that my God is a God with a plan and a purpose.

I'm scared...but I know that He will heal me.

I'm exhausted...but I know that He alone will give me the strength I need to make it through a day.

Sometimes I'm lonely...but I'm never alone.

Those are what I have to hold on to.