Inexplicable.
You thought I was going to say supercalifragilisticexpialidocious, didn't you?
Great. Now I have Mary Poppins stuck in my head.
Whenever I think of the word "inexplicable" I always imagine someone saying it in a Donald Duck spit-all-over-you kind of voice. You know what I'm talking about, right? (Just nod and smile and maybe I'll go away.)
Anyway, the point I was trying to get to is I'm not sure how I feel today. It's inexplicable. (See, I always find my way back to the point, sometimes it just takes me a minute.)
I mean, today was fine. Nothing really out of the ordinary happened. I went to class, I ate, I did homework, I listened to music. Same old thing.
But I don't know. I just can't think of a particular word to describe the mood I'm in, and I usually can. I'm kind of just...here. I think it's a sort of survival mode in that I'm basically trying to just make it to next Thursday. Thanksgiving totally messes the groove of college up. Having to come back for two weeks just completely throws the "vacation" mindset you get during Thanksgiving off its rocker. It would be so much easier if the semester started at the beginning of August and just ended at Thanksgiving, but that's never going to happen.
I'm in a weird state of "I don't want to go home, but I don't want to stay here, either". I wish I could go to California with Ryann for Christmas. Or to Nashville to see The Vespers! I guess you could say my mood is "itching to travel"?
I will also say that while it was a huge relief to get that report out of my hands and to be done with the last major assignment of this semester, I highly doubt I'm going to stop stressing about it until I see my grade on Friday. Yes, Dr. Thornton is a beast and is going to grade all our massive reports by the final on Friday at 3:00. He was giving a very well-intended lecture today on how we all should just not worry about the reports anymore because they're in his hands and we can't do anything else and we've got other things to worry about, and all of that is true, but I'm not going to just stop wondering how a report worth 25% of my grade turns out. It's not how my mind is wired, and yes, while it may make me a more high-stress person, I don't see what's wrong with that. The way I see it, it means I care about my grades more than most people do.
Wow, I have no idea where this post is going. Look up the word "random" in the dictionary, and I'm pretty sure a link to this post will be beside it.
Anyway, to keep you from wanting to claw your own retinas out from sheer boredom, I will go. I need to go get ready for bed.
I guess this is as good of an ending as any. Bye! :)
Why do professors think it's a relief to know that something worth 25% of your grade is now out of your hands and control?!?!?!?! 'Cause it's anything but comforting in many cases.
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